tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55469192024-02-07T03:27:22.462-06:00The Internet Ate My HomeworkMemoirs of a Star Trek junkie.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.comBlogger1119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-54716388777679234682017-02-23T16:17:00.000-06:002017-02-23T16:17:04.710-06:00While You're Making Other PlansI'm not sure I ever had a plan for my life. I can't tell you what, as a child, I wanted to be when I grew up as it changed from week to week, sometimes day to day. Heck, I still don't know. No, there was no plan, but there were expectations.<br />
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Whether my expectations were set by observing my parents and their friends or by society and the media I really can't say. But I'm almost 50 years old now and I'm not where I expected to be.<br />
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I expected I would be married and have a deep, deep passion for my "soul mate." I love my wife, whom I've been married to more than half my life now (27 years this year), and will love her deeply until I draw my dying breath but there seems to be a piece of that puzzle that either doesn't quite fit or is from a different picture.<br />
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I expected I would have children. This is something that has contributed to many existential crises as I get older. I see my friends doting on their children and now their grandchildren. My heart aches and regret swells.<br />
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I expected I would know more. This is more one of perception. I am aware that I have knowledge that many are ignorant of and that I am ignorant of many things that others have knowledge of. I do not aspire to be the smartest person in the room - several others took up that mantle long ago - but I hunger to understand more of the things I do know and wonder what I am missing.<br />
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I expected I would be better compensated. Many reading this probably had this same expectation. I saw people in TV shows and real-life who seemed to constantly move forward in their careers. All I ever seem to do is move sideways and when I do move forward it's either so big a leap that I can't handle it or it's into something far, far worse than where I am.<br />
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With so many expectations, whether realistic or fantastic, having outcomes that I would consider not toward the positive, is it any wonder I suffer from depression? Or is it the depression that makes me feel that my expectations haven't been met?<br />
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I've read enough business success and self-help books to know that I really need to shape my own destiny. The problem is that my destiny is a giant lump of drab, gray modeling clay sitting on the table before me that I have no earthly idea how to shape. It's not that I don't understand the mechanics of shaping it or that I don't feel I have the skill. The skill really doesn't matter as it can be refined over time. What I don't have is a vision. Will it be a human figure(ine)? What about something utilitarian like a cell phone stand? Maybe something grander like a model building or even a statue? Should it be something serious? Or something fun and outlandish? I just don't know. I stare and I stare but it just won't tell me what it wants to be. And for all my wishing (and judicious use of "The Force") it just won't shape itself.<br />
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So what to do about it? I need to discover what that lump of clay <i>needs</i> to become. Should I ask it questions? Should I simply push on it here and there and see what it starts to look like? Actually, that last one won't work. I tried that. I also tried starting to shape it into something - anything - to see what it looked like but usually ended up squishing it back into a lump.<br />
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I'm rambling. It's time to stop since I'm obviously not going to figure it all out in one blog post. I have no idea how to close out of this so I just say TTFN.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-10848882825658462202017-02-23T16:00:00.000-06:002017-02-23T16:35:47.149-06:00On The Death Of Robin Williams<i>This was originally written shortly after Robin Williams took his own life but, for some reason, I never published it.</i><br />
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I am about to reveal something about myself that almost nobody knows. I have had suicidal thoughts. Not that I've actually thought of ways to harm myself but I've been in such depressive moods and felt such despair that I've gained understanding into why people do it.<br />
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Often when someone commits suicide people will ask why they didn't reach out for help. They will emphasize to others to do so if they're hurting. I've got news for you: I was under professional care and taking medication when I got that low.<br />
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The truth is that for me I understood that people love me. I could think of a hundred things to live for. I could think of a thousand things I would miss. Maybe that kept me away from the edge but in the moment they didn't matter. I just wanted the sadness to lift. I wanted to be free of the weight that clung to me like a thick slime.<br />
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From there I could see the abyss - I truly saw it in my mind - and I could see that I was closer to it than to reality. It seemed it would be so much easier to simply let go and walk over the edge than to try to fight my way back. There were no thoughts of right or wrong. There were no thoughts of religious condemnation. There was only thought of relief.<br />
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I wasn't afraid. I knew I could easily take that next step, and the next until I stepped over the edge. But I knew I didn't belong there. I knew, somehow, the despair was not real. There had been events in my life that hurt me and scared me so bad that they made me want to run away and hide and wallow in my pain - but they were not like this. This had an everythingness about it. There was no source, there was no trigger, it was just there and it had crept upon me.<br />
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In the end, obviously, I turned around. I made some changes to reduce stress. I stopped doing things that contributed to my emotional state (the cleanliness of my house suffered). The thing I didn't do was tell anyone about it - not even my doctor. I didn't want people to know. I didn't want people to think less of me for letting it get that bad. I didn't want people to tell me I should have called or reached out. I didn't feel foolish but I knew that kind of talk would have made me feel foolish. I didn't see it coming and I didn't want to feel like it was somehow my fault for not noticing.<br />
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My doctor knows about this now. She asked the direct question and I answered, "I can't say that I haven't thought about it but I can say that I haven't thought about actually doing it."<br />
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Maybe this has nothing to do with the situation or state of mind Robin Williams was in when he left us. Maybe he just said, "Fuck it." But maybe I can help someone to understand that it's not as simple or straightforward as it seems.<br />
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I will tell you this: If you're ever looking toward the abyss and you don't know what to do and you don't feel like explaining yourself, reach out to me. Tell me, "It's dark in here" and I'll understand. I won't ask for details but I'll be there for you. I'll distract you if that's what you want. I'll come hold your hand. I'll let you cry on my shoulder. I'll sit quietly listening to you breathe just so you know someone is there. I will just be there because I know that sometimes that's enough.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-82986556803818847562017-01-16T09:25:00.000-06:002017-01-16T09:25:31.072-06:00Musings for MLK dayYesterday, I went to see "Hidden Figures." The story follows three black women who were part of the early NASA space launches. These ladies were mathematical geniuses and were responsible for calculations critical to the successful launch, landing, and recovery of our spacecraft. They and their role were never recognized until recently because they were female and they were black.<br />
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I grew up in a fairly progressive household. Skin color was no more than a descriptive trait and carried no more weight about the person themselves than hair or eye color. I was born toward the end of the civil rights movement and by the time I was aware, blacks were supposedly equal in the eyes of the law. I had heard they were treated unfairly but it meant no more to me at the time than hearing of the plight of the American Indian. Race riots and the Trail of Tears were equally outside my scope of true understanding.<br />
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I will admit that I bought into some of the propaganda about the differences in caucasions and blacks. I don't know where I picked it up but I honestly believed that blacks were mentally inferior to whites by simple genetics. Their brains were simply incapable of the same capacity. I didn't speak of it much because it was never really relevant but I mention it now because it illustrates my ignorance.<br />
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In the fourth grade, I started in the magnet school program in Tulsa, OK. The magnet school program took students from across the city and put them together for a fully integrated learning environment. This was not forced bussing. You had to apply and be accepted into the magnet program. Per my understanding at the time the goal was to be 50% white and 50% black or as close as they could get. I continued in the magnet school program through high school graduation and I met some of the most incredible, talented, and intelligent people of all races.<br />
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As I watched the movie yesterday I came to the realization that I do not understand and cannot understand the reality that people of color or non-caucasion races have to endure. The best I can do is to recognize when someone - anyone - is being treated differently and do what I can to correct that. But, like the characters in the film, my view is forever colored by the "caucasion colored glasses" through which I see the world. Sometimes I just don't have the capacity to recognize those injustices. Maybe we, caucasions, are the ones who are mentally inferior. Not by genetics but by experience.<br />
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There is a very powerful scene in the film where Katherine (Taraji P. Henson) finally boils over. She has been assigned to one of the main buildings from the colored computing group. As it turns out, the only colored ladies restroom on the entire campus is in the building that houses the colored computing group - almost a quarter mile away from the building where she is assigned. Her boss, Director Al Harrison (Kevin Costner), finally confronts her for being MIA for long periods of time every day. "Where do you go?" He asks. "To the bathroom." Comes her simple reply. "For fourty minutes!?" He's not angry but obviously being managerial, trying to address an issue. That's when she breaks. She explains to him her half-mile hike to get to and from the bathroom because there are no colored restrooms in any other building and it opens a crack in the flood gates as she educates her boss and co-workers about the kind of discrimination she has to endure. And you can see the awakening in Costner's eyes. You can see that she shone a light directly through his caucasion colored glasses so that he could see... so that he could understand just a fraction of what she has to go through for no other reason than she has dark skin.<br />
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It was in that moment that I realized I was like the Al Harrison character. I don't see it. It's nearly impossible for me to see the truth because my experience has not been painted with the same brush... or even the same paint. And, truth be told, sometimes that paint comes with prejudice mixed right in. I cannot stop my mind from reflexively telling me to shy away from someone who looks "less" than I do. I even do it sometimes with people I've known for over thirty years. I have to make a conscious effort to correct myself and recognize that our experience is different and not to judge them. And I hate that. I hate that I constantly have to tell myself that but I hope I will recognize and treasure the day when I don't: When none of us do.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-49138682177478827272016-09-10T05:33:00.003-05:002016-09-10T05:35:14.499-05:00Early Morning Ramblings On Economics And The Existence Of GodI once watched a Joel Osteen sermon on television. My takeaway from the sermon was that God wanted for me the blessing of abundance but that the abundance would be delivered on God's schedule, not mine. It was inspiring, to be sure, but its message fades against the fabric of reality.<br />
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I look at the United States, one of if not the most abundant countries in the world, and wonder if God might not be hoarding his abundance. I speak from a personal perspective but also from the macro perspective. To be fair, God has always provided me and my family enough but when I look at the imbalance - the distribution of wealth, the wage gap, racism, sexism - I can't reconcile it.<br />
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I have heard that somewhere between six and eight families control 80-90% of the wealth in the United States and that the number of families living below the poverty line increases at an alarming rate every year. How can we sustain that? How have we sustained that for so long? I look at modern politics and modern economics and think that some day it all has to reach a critical mass and that day will come sooner than later. I fear that day. I fear that day because the preshocks have already occurred - The Great Depression, the dot com bubble, the housing bubble. Those were bad enough but I fear the tear that is occurring today will swallow us when the big one hits. It's not just the United States that will suffer. The global economy is so intertwined that the collapse of such a major power would destroy so much more than itself.<br />
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I am not a biblical scholar by any sense of the word. What I know of scripture is merely bits and pieces and stories. Religion is the source of my morality. My view of the Bible and scripture is more about that sense of right and wrong than of specific words. I thought I might include some bit of scripture here to play off of but I don't know the text well enough to locate anything that might closely express my sentiment.<br />
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Here's my point: If God so wants abundance for us all, why does it not seem that His abundance is being dispersed?<br />
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Is it because of the love of money in the hearts of those six to eight families? Are they, and not God, hoarding the abundance? How shall they be judged?<br />
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Is it because of a lack of faith? I <i>want</i> to believe in God but humanity makes faithfulness difficult. Between terrorist activities, greed, political corruption, broad-spectrum hate speech from religious groups (I'm thinking specifically of Westboro Baptist but there are other groups and other forms), abuse by and morally abhorrent behavior of "men of God," and universal (meaning enacted by the universe, not necessarily widespread) bullshit, there are times I consider atheism as much as agnosticism.<br />
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Is it because we have all deviated so far from the word of God? We lend and borrow and spend and acquire so much that we're forced to operate within a system that is inherently corrupt.<br />
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Is it because there is no God? The words in the Bible are written by the hands of men. Modern society is so far removed from that time and we have enough inaccuracy and controversy in the recording of our own history, how can we trust a book written so long ago and translated at least twice to present it in a living language? How many "versions" of the Bible are there, anyway? If the words are so divine, shouldn't there only be one? I mean, it's not like there's King James, New International, and modern paraphrased versions of <i>Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone</i>.<br />
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Where is the modern savior who will take it upon himself to drive the merchants and money exchangers from the temple? I'm not talking about the second coming or anything but of the person of power and influence who screams, "Enough!" I mean, look what happened in the mortgage collapse. Banks, actually those that run banks, <i>knowingly</i> sold services based on false pretenses and incorrect assumptions. They fleeced the public into believing they could get so much more for so much less. It was only a matter of time before those lies, and the economic repercussions of them, caused the shitstorm that they did. And what were the consequences? Money from the federal government (you and I) to bail them out of the situation they put themselves in and the reward to their leaders of bonuses so large that the average person does not even have a frame of reference for that level of disbursement.<br />
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If one person is not enough to effect such change, why are groups of people not rising up? We certainly should but we can't seem to even care enough to overturn our own congress. I think the reason that the last five presidents have served two terms is that it's easier for people to handle. It's not because they are great men but that they are the devil we know.<br />
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Where am I going with this? I don't really know. I woke up at 4 am with it rattling around in my head and had to get it out into the universe so I could go back to sleep (maybe).Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-12532252138884462822016-07-27T12:34:00.001-05:002016-07-27T12:34:34.665-05:00Sarah Silverman's MouthSarah Silverman has a potty mouth (I'm sure even she will admit that) and it probably gets her in trouble from time to time. For some reason she was a speaker, alongside Al Franken, at the Democratic National Convention on Monday. I'm not entirely sure whether she spoke before or after Sanders made his remarks since I didn't watch much of the coverage and neither she nor Franklin are on the official schedule. My guess is they were introducing a scheduled speaker and were allotted a few minutes to offer their statements.<br />
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From a story on <a href="http://theslot.jezebel.com/sarah-silverman-shouts-over-booing-dnc-to-the-bernie-o-1784289205" target="_blank">The Slot</a>, Silverman spoke of her support for Bernie Sanders, which likely pleased those of similar mind in the crowd, then started saying why she would be supporting Hillary Clinton. This drew jeers and boos from die-hard Bernie fans. She tried to speak over them but they were, apparently, quite vocal. She'd apparently had enough because her next statement was, "To the Bernie or Bust crowd, you're being ridiculous" I saw a video clip of that comment and her attitude seemed to be one of, "You lost. Get over it!"<br />
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Well, Ms. Silverman, it's not that easy. It's obvious from the vocal reactions, emotional tears, and the walkout yesterday that there are some deeply dedicated Bernie fans. And those people need a chance to grieve. They have to come to grips with the reality that a person who they rallied against for so long and has had her share of controversies during the nomination process now represents their party as a presidential candidate. It can't be just put aside.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, I get where you were coming from. It's bothersome to be interrupted like that and frustrating that a situation that you've already come to accept is still being bantered about. You could have been less harsh in your comments. You could have given them something like, "I know it's difficult but this is our reality now. Let's work together to accept it and win this election!"<br />
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I'm just sayin.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-21142350722031914132016-07-26T16:50:00.000-05:002016-07-26T16:50:24.323-05:00Bernie Goes BustIf you follow me on Facebook it should be no secret to you that I support Bernie Sanders in the 2016 presidential election. I guess I should say that I supported Bernie Sanders. Until last night, I held out a minor modicum of hope that he might still seek the Democratic nomination or might run as an independent, despite what he's said over the last few weeks.<br />
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Last night, I watched a few minutes of Sanders' speech at the DNC in Philadelphia. I was hit with a sense of finality when he said, "Hillary Clinton must become the next president of the United States. The choice is not even close." Many in attendance were hit with this as well. From the crowd came a mixture of cheers and sounds of dissent. I'm not sure what I will do in November but let's rewind a little.<br />
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I supported Bernie Sanders not because he was anti-establishment but because he was true. First, he eschewed corporate money and mounted an incredibly successful supporter-funded campaign. If real people just like me hadn't wanted him to run, his campaign would have fizzled before it really got started. He made it all the way to the convention. If he wanted, he could seriously contend for the nomination.<br />
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The second reason is his integrity. I'm not using integrity in the sense that he's scandal-free. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. What I'm saying is that, throughout his political career, his messages and goals have been consistent. He has always been for a fair wage. He has always been for human rights. He has always been in favor of education. He has always been for more equitable distribution of wealth. Okay, maybe you can point to some instance where one or more of these statements do not hold true but, overall, he's been fighting for the same things since he started.<br />
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My third reason for supporting him is his message. Do I agree with every goal he wants to attain? No, I don't. Do I agree with every method he wants to use to attain those goals? No, I don't. Do I believe all of his goals are attainable within a four-year term? No, I don't. The thing is, though, that he is the only one really talking about some of these issues. While many of the candidates have been hitting hot buttons of "christian" values, the sanctity of marriage, who should use which bathroom, and discussing hand size in relation to manhood, Sanders has continued to talk about raising the standard of living, bringing back the middle class, improving access to higher education, reforming the student loan system that's structured in heavy favor of the lenders, and no longer considering a business a person.<br />
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As Sanders gained momentum and there was a good chance he could win the nomination, Clinton started parroting some of Sanders' rhetoric, presumably to sway some of his supporters to her side: "See, I can do that too." Her inconsistency of message alone caused me to be leery of her but the email scandal is what really made me distrust her. Her use of an external server really doesn't bother me that much. There have been others that have done the same. Was it a wise thing to do? Certainly not! Utilizing a server outside the government network poses a technological security risk at the very least. If even one work-related email passed through that system then it poses a national security risk. That can all be handled internally and might be the catalyst for a formal rule change but that wasn't my primary focus. What caused my distrust was the deletion of a large number of emails from that system <i>after</i> the contents were requested by the congressional committee or the FBI or whomever requested them.<br />
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For a long time after Clinton started to gain her lead, Sanders would not entertain the idea that he would not be the nominee. He was asked if he lost the nomination would he support Clinton and his response was that he did not intend to lose the nomination. He was asked if he would run as an independent and he saw no need to. At some point after Clinton "locked up" to nomination, as a result of shenanigans or not, she and Sanders must have had a meeting. I say this because almost overnight he put his support behind her and told the media that he would not run as an independent no matter the outcome. Then, in his speech at the convention, he spoke about student loan debt saying, "During the primary campaign, Secretary Clinton and I both focused on this issue but with different approaches. Recently, however, <b>we have come together on a proposal</b> that will revolutionize higher education in America."<br />
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I know why he did it. The Republicans are not putting forth a united front and he wants to ensure that the Democrats do. I applaud him for that and I applaud Hillary Clinton for working with Bernie Sanders to put forth a united platform. I am disappointed that Clinton's choice of running mate was not Sanders nor Elizabeth Warren but I see a high probability that Sanders will be appointed to a position in the Clinton presidency where the two collaborate. At least, that's what I hope. Either that or I see Sanders ending up in a powerful congressional position to the same effect.<br />
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So, in all likelihood, come November, I will have a megalomaniacal [insert additional negative adjectives here] oligarch on one side, an entrenched politician who even the FBI thinks is shady on the other, and candidates from whatever tangential parties may show up on the ballot. I certainly don't want Trump to be my president. Without getting too opinionated, I do not feel he represents me or my interests in any way, shape, or form and I distrust Clinton to follow through on her promises. I would like to think I would vote for one of the non-major-party candidates but I honestly fear that doing so would tilt the election in Trump's favor - and that scares the hell out of me.<br />
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I don't know who, at this point, will get my vote for president in November. The only thing I can say for certain is that I will cast my vote then hope and pray that everything turns out okay.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-33198293936820471952016-06-30T08:49:00.001-05:002016-06-30T08:49:55.802-05:00Primary FandomsWhen I was seven or eight years old cable television either didn't exist or wasn't widely available. To watch television we needed an antenna and with that we could receive four channels: NBC, CBS, ABC, and PBS. There were two times when television went straight to ultra boring - when the president was giving a speech and Sunday morning. It was Sunday mornings that got me interested in SciFi.<br />
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While Saturday morning was cartoon time for the kids, Sunday morning was for the religious. All three of the big networks played church programs. Now, this was before mega churches and video sermons. The programming that was on was the service from a local church. If you were lucky, there was more than just one camera sitting in the back of the sanctuary with a wide shot of the altar/pulpit. Considering we often left the television off on Sundays until after church, the last thing my eight-year-old self wanted to see was <i>more church</i>. As George Carlin said, "Church was a weekly reminder that there was something worse than school."<br />
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With church on the big three we usually turned to PBS. This is the only reason I know what <i>Nova</i> is and it is what introduced me to <i>Star Trek</i>. It wasn't just that it was often the only thing to watch on Sunday mornings that wasn't church, I really enjoyed it. I loved <i>Star Trek</i> so much over the years that there was a time that I could literally identify the episode, by name, and give you a full plot synopsis by watching no more than ten seconds of any part of any original series episode. Even if it was just a closeup of Mr. Spock raising an eyebrow. Yes, seriously.<br />
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<i>Star Trek</i>, in its many forms, has always held a special place in my heart, like a first love. If you asked me what my fandom was, my unhesitating response, for many, many years would have been, "I'm a Trekkie!" [side note: fandom is a recent expression. It's sort-of like cosplay. It's always been there, we just didn't always call it that.] I will forever refer to myself as a Trekkie (or Trekker, depending on my mood) but I've recently been taking notice of which fandom I gravitate toward most strongly and, to my surprise, it's changed.<br />
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Way back in 1977 there was this little box office sleeper that was quietly released to theaters called <i>Star Wars</i>. You may have heard of it. I think it was the first movie I absolutely <i>had</i> to see. There were so many incredible things about the movie theater experience back then but seeing the lines wrapped around the building (we mostly had single-screen theaters back then) had to be the most spectacular to my young self. If <i>that </i>many people wanted to see this movie at any particular time it <i>had</i> to be good.<br />
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I love the original <i>Star Wars</i> and will forever raise it up as an example of great film making. From the story to the characters to the then ground-breaking special effects (up to that point no one had left the model stationary and moved the camera around it to create motion) it's absolutely amazing. I watch it now and can see its rough edges but still marvel that George Lucas and his team put so many firsts in that production. They literally had to invent new ways of producing special effects, some of which are still used today.<br />
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As great as it is and as great as it was I still identified myself as a Trekkie. Maybe because the fandom never got saddled with a catchy name, I don't know. What would you call a <i>Star Wars</i> fan, anyway? Star Warrior? Star Warian? Skywalkerer? At any rate, my placement of <i>Star Wars</i> as my number one favorite lasted maybe a year or two after its release if it ever was on top. I eventually settled back into my old, comfortable, Starfleet mindset.<br />
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In the early '80s PBS, yet again, introduced me to this odd little show from England called <i>Doctor Who</i>. I know it wasn't another Sunday morning find. I think it may have aired on Saturday afternoons. Anyway, Here was this show about this quirky guy with bushy hair and a looooong scarf around his neck traveling through space and time in... a British police box... that was bigger on the inside. This show was not some highly-polished, big-budget production. On the contrary, it looked quite cheap. But that was part of its charm. Being interested at the time in television/video production it was fascinating to see how they used ordinary objects and materials in unusual and unexpected ways.<br />
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I lost touch with the show when the local PBS stations started shuffling the schedule. It was also around that time that I really started to take an interest in girls. The latter was likely the reason I didn't fly my geek flag quite so high anymore. I lost track of The Doctor and eventually heard that the show had ended in 1989. It wasn't such a hard blow for me because I'd missed out on something like four doctors by that time and I'd settled comfortably back into my Trekkie seat in 1987 with the introduction of <i>Star Trek: The Next Generation</i>.<br />
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With a steady diet of <i>Star Trek</i> movies and television and <i>Star Wars</i> sequels I'd put The Doctor on a shelf to gather dust. I kept him around, to be sure, and when people asked I would politely tell them, "Yes, I know of The Doctor and enjoyed the show very much." I really didn't give him much thought until 2005 when BBC America, a channel that didn't even launch until 1998, announced that they were bringing it back.<br />
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By this time I'd done away with my self-consciousness and flew my geek flag as high as I could. I was uneasy about this rebirth (or should that be regeneration?). Would they maintain the spirit of The Doctor? Would the stories be any good? Would The Doctor be any good? I watched the first episode with trepidation. I didn't want to hate it but so many rebirths of so many shows had failed miserably. I needn't have worried. When I heard Christopher Eccleston utter the phrase, "Hello, Rose. I'm The Doctor. Run for your life." in that Doctor-esque calm and whimsy I was hooked again. This time, I don't think I've missed a single episode (thank God for DVRs).<br />
<br />
As I look around my desk I see four <i>Star Wars</i> figurines, some <i>The Walking Dead</i> Funko pocket pop!s that I got in a grab bag, a <i>Captain America</i> Funko mug I won at work, a Darth Vader Mr. Potato Head, and a space marine action figure from <i>Starcraft</i>. Scattered about amidst all of that is a six-inch vinyl TARDIS, three postcard-sized pictures of the TARDIS (one looking in to the control room, one with the doors closed, and one with a cat peering inside), a photo of me stepping out of the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/TulsaTardis/" target="_blank">Tulsa TARDIS</a>, and a Funko pocket Pop! of the fourth Doctor (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0048982/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1" target="_blank">Tom Baker</a>). But it doesn't end there. My current vehicle is a 2014 Jazz (darker) Blue Dodge Charger with a vanity plate that reads TMTRVLR (TARDIS was already taken). I think it's safe to say that I've changed my primary fandom from Trekkie to Whovian.<br />
<br />
Live long and prosper, may The Force be with you, always know where your towel is, and Allons-y!<br />
<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-71837234029751653132014-09-02T14:32:00.002-05:002014-09-02T14:32:20.327-05:00Meatball Sandwich Casserole<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgorVxBfziGA-owG-2R4IetNw17kEAPhJn0xxtey8thURqNeibn3dT5ykeeyA4lEHFj2y9QY4WMY34A3c32VkHhf77N2qTAmX4b-6jNvNH1Yr6QKHm_GW1vbucxfMTc6RfnKnPw/s1600/meatballSubCasserole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgorVxBfziGA-owG-2R4IetNw17kEAPhJn0xxtey8thURqNeibn3dT5ykeeyA4lEHFj2y9QY4WMY34A3c32VkHhf77N2qTAmX4b-6jNvNH1Yr6QKHm_GW1vbucxfMTc6RfnKnPw/s1600/meatballSubCasserole.jpg" height="293" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Meatball Sandwich Casserole<br />
<br />
You will need:<br />
<br />
! bag of frozen meatballs (I use Mama Lucia Brand, personal preference)<br />
1 jar of marinara sauce or spaghetti sauce if there isn't any marinara on hand<br />
1 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded<br />
1 cup Italian blend cheese, shredded<br />
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, shredded<br />
1 loaf of fresh Italian bread, sliced<br />
<br />
To prepare:<br />
<br />
Preheat oven to 400. Place entire bag of meatballs in pot with sauce (I also add garlic, onion powder, salt and pepper to taste) and cook over medium heat until warmed completely through, about 10 minutes. Stir as needed to keep meatballs from sticking to pot. Once heated through remove from heat. Place meatballs in the center of a 9x13 baking dish, layer mozzarella and Italian blend cheeses over meatballs topping off with the Parmesan. Take the slices of Italian bread and line the pan all the way around with them so that they are kind of keeping the meatballs toward the center of the pan. The bread slices will be standing up in the pan as shown in the picture. You have creative freedom here with the bread...you can lightly butter and garlic the bread prior to placing it in the pan if you prefer or even brush lightly with olive oil and garlic. The choice is yours. I have made it plain and as noted above and all are delicious!<br />
<br />
Place in oven and bake for approximately 25 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly. Remove from oven, serve and enjoy!<br />
<br />
A side salad goes nicely with this quick meal!Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-27347070563937150802014-08-31T18:04:00.000-05:002014-08-31T18:04:58.847-05:00Overthinking TechnologyI came to Kansas City this weekend for two reasons. 1) The 31st is my dad's birthday. 2) The KC RenFest started this weekend. While at the RenFest yesterday I purchased a CD of <a href="http://jollyrogerskc.com/" target="_blank">The Jolly Rogers</a>, a "band of five guys who share a few common traits – a love for maritime music, an unreasoning fascination with the fantasy of Golden Age pirates and, above all, a very warped sense of humor."<br />
<br />
Being as I'm not at home, my resources are limited. I brought a netbook with me so I have no optical drive available to use with it. I was trying to determine a process I could follow to get the music onto my iPhone so I could listen to it in the car on my way home. Step one was to convert the CD to a digital format. There are at least three computers in the house with optical drives that I can use to rip the CD. Once that's done I have a flash drive I can use to transfer the files to my netbook.<br />
<br />
I proceeded withe step one and had the files on the flash drive. It was then that I realized that, even though I transfer these files to my netbook, how do I get them into my iPhone? This isn't my primary computer that I usually connect to my phone. I wonder if this netbook has Bluetooth? Would the iPhone even recognize the music if I just dropped the files onto it?<br />
<br />
Then it hit me... ... ... ... the car has a CD player.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-7179014296604224282014-05-13T22:11:00.000-05:002014-05-13T22:11:03.214-05:00The BarrierA friend of mine who has definite physical limitations told me something this weekend. She used to say she had no regrets but she revealed to me that she had recently started feeling that she regretted not trying out for the pom pom squad in high school.<br />
<br />
In the moment, she had watched the routines and the physical requirements and had decided that she just wouldn't be able to do it. She imposed an automatic limit upon herself without ever trying. She might not have made the team but just trying would have pushed her beyond the boundaries that she thought she had. And maybe, just maybe, the team would have worked to include her despite her limitations.<br />
<br />
This brought home a thought process I've been going through. I was actually talking, out loud, to someone about this and said something about understanding my limits and staying within them. As I said it I knew it was an excuse. I knew it was bullshit. I knew the limits were of my own making. I knew it was a barrier built by fear.<br />
<br />
As I think about what I said I know I'm holding myself back. I see the fence in the distance and feel I can't climb it and turn away. The truth I know is that the fence is not that high and there are gates. There may be a gatekeeper of some sort but the gates are all along the fence.<br />
<br />
The funny thing is I also know that beyond the fence... is another fence.<br />
<br />
My last post may have sounded discouraged but I'm not. I think about finding my greatness every day. I examine the barriers, I examine the paths, and I examine the possibilities.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-12247387485382456252014-05-08T21:45:00.001-05:002014-05-08T21:45:35.614-05:00Fear And Anger<div>
I am looking for my greatness.</div>
<div>
Will my star shine bright or will I let it continue to be dim?</div>
<div>
I am afraid.</div>
<div>
If I hold back I will waste potential.</div>
<div>
If I try too hard I may burn out and end up as a black hole.</div>
<div>
I hold myself back.</div>
<div>
I lie to myself that the resources are finite and I must not use them up. There is only so much I can use.</div>
<div>
But when I lie I only increase my own resistance. I excuse myself from trying.</div>
<div>
I know that the resources are replenished with each attempt - successful or not. Failure is always an option.</div>
<div>
But I am afraid.</div>
<div>
I want to throw everything into the fire and let it explode in spectacular fashion but it doesn't work like that.</div>
<div>
Like gunpowder outside of a bullet it fizzles in a brief, anticlimactic poof.</div>
<div>
I do not like the slow burn.</div>
<div>
I want to see the elephant devoured not eaten one small bite at a time.</div>
<div>
I am frustrated by my desire for quick results.</div>
<div>
I fear I will lose interest and walk away from my greatness without ever knowing it.</div>
<div>
I have done many things that I thought would grow if I only gave them attention only to find I'm not very good at them.</div>
<div>
I try something else and it, too, withers.</div>
<div>
Why do I stop when things get difficult?</div>
<div>
Why do I never practice?</div>
<div>
I took piano lessons for six years and never got past the simplified versions of the sheet music.</div>
<div>
I want things to come naturally, to just happen. I know it doesn't really happen like that. All examples of greatness are stories of hard work and dedication.</div>
<div>
I am afraid.</div>
<div>
I have taken the next step in my perceived evolution and have failed miserably. More than once.</div>
<div>
I like the low-hanging fruit but I'm truly not afraid to climb the tree... if I can see how to reach what I want. The fat, juicy, ripe fruit at the top of the canopy is so far out of site that I don't want to reach for it for fear of getting to the top only to find sour fruit or none at all. All the time ignoring the spectacular view.</div>
<div>
I'm going to climb. I don't know where I will end up.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I started trying to write something prophetic here. An organized, insightful revelation of my thought processes so far. I took the first step, why not just take the second? The truth is it's not organized - as you can see. So this was just a stream of consciousness thing. I stopped where I did because I was starting to get angry with myself for telling myself it is better to have false, inaccurate limits than unreachable goals (that really aren't unreachable).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Maybe next time I should make a list of my accomplishments. A list of the things I know how to do, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Maybe that will help me see that I'm shining brighter than I think I am.</div>
Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-20778846404202317112014-05-07T20:40:00.000-05:002014-05-07T20:40:48.692-05:00Find You Own Greatness<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;">All the elements in your body were forged many many millions of years ago in the heart of a faraway star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings. Until, eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. - <b>Doctor Who, <i>The Rings of Akhaten</i></b></span></blockquote>
There are times in life when you see people surpass you who started at the same point you did or maybe a little behind. There are also times when you see someone being successful at the life you thought you would have. It is difficult not to compare yourself to them. It is difficult not to say, "That could be me." We all know that we are unique with our own blend of talents and shortcomings. We all know that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others. But how do we embrace that uniqueness?<br />
<br />
I was listening to my iPhone shuffle through all of the music uploaded to it when <i>Ready to Hang</i> by <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_6?url=search-alias%3Dpopular&field-keywords=waymon%20tisdale&sprefix=waymon%2Caps%2C300" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Wayman Tisdale</a> came on. I probably met Wayman at some point since we went to the same high school but I couldn't tell you if he would have recognized me or not. He and my older sister were in the same class and knew each other well enough that Wayman once recognized my brother, who is one year younger than my sister, when Wayman walked past my him on an airplane. He stopped and asked my brother something like, "Aren't you Mary's brother?"<br />
<br />
I was thinking about that story, that my brother likes to tell, and it got me to thinking about Wayman's life. He was a basketball star in high school, college and in the NBA. He even went to the Olympics. Wayman went on to have a music career and released eight albums. At one point I learned that he had taught himself how to play the bass... and he was pretty good at it. In 2007 he was diagnosed with cancer and had part of his leg amputated in 2008. He died in May of 2009.<br />
<br />
I was reflecting on all of this: All of the amazing things he had done in his life despite it being cut short. Of course I'm no Wayman Tisdale. My star does not shine nearly as bright and it likely never will. What I want, however, is to be remembered as having done something with my life.<br />
<br />
That's when it hit me: We can't all be the bright star in the sky but we can all shine in our own way. The trick is to find your own greatness. It doesn't matter that someone does something faster or better than you.<br />
<br />
I was trying to finish that thought by saying, "What does matter..." but I'm not sure exactly what that is yet. I think that's part of what I'm looking for. This is just the first, tiny step and I hope I don't get distracted from this path. I need to find <i>my </i>greatness. I might already have it or it may be completely unrealized and yet to come. I have a friend that calls it <a href="http://grabbingthestarfish.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Grabbing the Starfish</a>. She explains it as "Knowing and working towards that one thing that you are supposed to be doing with your life." It sounded like a thousand other existential platitudes but I think I get it now.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned. I'll probably bring you along for the ride.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-83823036611702458932014-05-04T01:07:00.000-05:002014-05-04T01:07:35.971-05:00I Used To Have A BlogI have a bachelor's degree in radio and television production. One of the jobs I actually held in this field was doing video production for the advertising department of the local cable company. We were a small market so there was one sales person and two production... eh... specialists. Not only were we responsible for shooting and editing the commercials, we were often called upon to conceptualize, write and even narrate the spots. After two years I became quite adept at cramming a lot of information into thirty seconds.<br />
<br />
It took me a long time to break that habit. It's one of the reasons I started a blog. I didn't really want to continue writing in a style that embraced direct information without detail and sometimes without context. If I were to continue, my prose would be very succinct. I give you an example:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Two families hated each other. A boy from one family and a girl from the other took a shine to each other. Because of the feud between the families they had to keep their love secret. The boy decided to fake his death so they could escape together. He tried to let her know it was fake but the message didn't get to her. When she saw him, thinking he was dead, she decided to take her own life to be with the boy she loved. He woke up from his fake death only to find her dead. In a moment of agony over what she'd done, he took his own life, for real this time, to be with her.</blockquote>
<br />
That's not a story. That's a plot summary. The point is, I worked hard to move away from that and got pretty good at documenting the mundane aspects of my life and commenting on things nobody really cared about. In other words, I became a blogger.<br />
<br />
Then I joined facebook. I was a little weary of writing out long, explanatory posts and had been doing some drive-by blogging anyway. Facebook was a perfect venue in which to do that. I could post something brief and to the point and get, hopefully, some simple and quick feed back about it.<br />
<br />
Then there's Twitter. 140 characters to say whatever you have to say and that's it! It and texting have formed an entirely new language of shorthand. But, even more than facebook, it forces you to concentrate and compress your thoughts. You never really <i>say</i> anything, you just provide sound bytes without the sound.<br />
<br />
Then came Vine. Six seconds. That's all you get. If you can speak fast or convey your thoughts through motion, you can cram in a little more than a tweet... but only a little.<br />
<br />
Let's not even discuss snapchat.<br />
<br />
Have you noticed that my paragraphs have been getting shorter?<br />
<br />
It's been nine months since I posted anything here. I've been hanging out at facebook quipping about life, keeping up with friends, and "liking" pictures of cats. Nothing too deep. No stories, for sure. It's a drive-by blog fest. It seems that each new technology we're obsessed with maintaining the attention of the severely-afflicted ADD sufferer. We want to get our words in before they have a chance to notice that squirrel. (go ahead, I wait while you watch him scamper up the tree).<br />
<br />
... ... ... ... ... ... ...<br />
<br />
Is he gone? Okay, let's continue. ... ... what was I saying? Oh, yes, writing with substance.<br />
<br />
I don't think, even after nearly eleven years of blogging, that I've ever completely eschewed the postcard prose I so easily adapted to. I mean, break down this post. I have short paragraphs, I have visual and thematic breaks, my sentences become terse, and even now my brain is trying to figure out how to say what I'm actually thinking and get this one in the can.<br />
<br />
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that social media, in its call for, and even restriction to, brevity is destroying our - or mine, at the very least - ability to tell stories. Sure, we can get our point across in six seconds, 140 characters, or a post designed to be read in its entirety as the screen is scrolling by, but we don't tell the stories. We don't give the details. We don't provide depth.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?<br />It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.<br />Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,<br />Who is already sick and pale with grief,<br />That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.<br />Be not her maid, since she is envious;<br />Her vestal livery is but sick and green<br />And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.<br />It is my lady, O, it is my love!<br />Oh, that she knew she were!</blockquote>
<br />
That boy's in love! No doubt.<br />
<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-16027193623568438392013-08-08T10:10:00.000-05:002013-08-08T10:10:20.532-05:00The Matrix: Revelations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNzIMpFaCS5BYlEgcovRxs8sdiKF6hszhjvKZHWgI5fkqVhjXspoWcKwUjZ6PyuKyfiLcin6kuLuelKAeqRJAhK7s8ZqrgggckxOpGovVX5C3VxJaWuqyvYDs-eSCCgxfKD1pX/s1600/the-matrix.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNzIMpFaCS5BYlEgcovRxs8sdiKF6hszhjvKZHWgI5fkqVhjXspoWcKwUjZ6PyuKyfiLcin6kuLuelKAeqRJAhK7s8ZqrgggckxOpGovVX5C3VxJaWuqyvYDs-eSCCgxfKD1pX/s320/the-matrix.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
My entire life I have been curious about how things work. I used to take things apart (if I could figure out how without breaking them) just to see what was inside - even if I didn't know what all those whozamajiggers did. At the time, I was just curious to see what the whozamajiggers looked like. Once, when I was 5 or so, my curiosity even figured out how to e<a href="http://unclebubby.blogspot.com/2011/10/gadget-freak-part-i.html" target="_blank">rase part of a pre-recorded cassette</a> tape with the tabs broken out. I am the guy who will pay attention to - or at least look for - the man behind the curtain.<br />
<br />
Today, I still have that same curiosity. I want to know how it works. I need to know how some small piece fits into a larger picture. When I send an email and it doesn't get to its destination, I want to know where it's been and why it came back or where it got stuck. That's why I learned to read message headers (hint: you read them from bottom to top). In networking your computer sends a signal down a wire, it goes to a box, some magic happens, then it ends up where it's supposed to be. I want to know what magic goes on inside the box.<br />
<br />
But my curiosity goes beyond signal flow and systemic thinking. For instance, I have had cameras at my disposal since I was a child. I have taken many thousands of pictures in my life. Yet, many of my pictures are simply snapshots, not photographs. I understand a lot of the technical aspects of photography - aperture, shutter speed, ISO, depth-of-field, etc. - but somehow I haven't quite gotten the hang of composition. My eye sees a beautiful scene but somehow, when I click the shutter, I don't ever quite capture the emotion and excitement that comes with good composition.<br />
<br />
It's like I'm seeing the Matrix code and it's just a bunch of random characters streaming down my screen. I recognize bits and pieces of code but I know it <i>all</i> means <i>something</i>. I want to see the matrix. I want to have a deep understanding.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHt5P9KevlXqi7dM3SJ_LNqOAMkAuRGHayiElFtNJj79elMBQbqLHLpy4y4lRqA6Ij5QW-Le2jaD1hYTQDxOJzB9C2ekJDXBVJuddetz-saUyKo_qCcHG2Cjw7nOX3uef-NjYj/s1600/matrix-code-348x196.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHt5P9KevlXqi7dM3SJ_LNqOAMkAuRGHayiElFtNJj79elMBQbqLHLpy4y4lRqA6Ij5QW-Le2jaD1hYTQDxOJzB9C2ekJDXBVJuddetz-saUyKo_qCcHG2Cjw7nOX3uef-NjYj/s320/matrix-code-348x196.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Now, I know I can't know everything so there will always be parts of it streaming by that I don't understand - like quantum mechanics - but I want to be able to see the blonde, the brunette, the redhead, etc. (it's a movie reference for those who don't know) I feel like if I concentrate on one or two lines I'll begin to see it but there are so many many lines falling down the screen I keep losing track of the one I'm watching and getting distracted by others. Going back the my photography I want to see, in my mind, what the photograph will look like before I snap the shutter so that, when I see the captured scene, even if it's a little off it's not a surprise that it didn't come out or holds no interest.<br />
<br />
Until then, I keep staring at the screen watching the pretty shapes falling down.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-83462970095793022172013-05-12T07:47:00.000-05:002013-05-12T07:47:09.684-05:00The First Day Of The Rest Of Our LifeTwenty-three years ago I woke up feeling a little anxious. I met with my best friends Bill, Steve, and Kyle and my brother, John. We gathered at The Kettle restaurant for a hearty breakfast. I ate well, if I remember correctly, despite my stomach starting to do flip-flops. The levity of my friends and family, along with some juvenile behavior like spoon hanging (I wish I knew where that picture was), helped with the nerves.<br />
<br />
After breakfast we went back to the hotel and got all fancied up. We gathered in the parking lot and as we waited Steve showed us a trick to keep our shirts straight - reach into your pockets and tug down on the bottom of your shirt from the inside. We then tested how it looked with a group photograph.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1b47Fqj1dHVitSYw-FEMMaBNcOJ0U_db2bvZlBtVyWgUz8pu7MbUC4A-AAI-g3earYyQdfHTFYrqJdpRJVscig1BAdBuZZC2yPGFaNCrXBYvyeYLT5TcaNKqaW3eNt8zf2dvX/s1600/Photo029.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1b47Fqj1dHVitSYw-FEMMaBNcOJ0U_db2bvZlBtVyWgUz8pu7MbUC4A-AAI-g3earYyQdfHTFYrqJdpRJVscig1BAdBuZZC2yPGFaNCrXBYvyeYLT5TcaNKqaW3eNt8zf2dvX/s320/Photo029.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As you can see, my good friends were keeping my anxiety in check.</div>
<br />
Once my parents joined us we headed to the event. The drive was short but the butterflies were getting more restless. At the venue we had our pictures taken - me alone, me with brother, me with Bill, Steve and John, me with parents, me with parents and brother, etc. The sheer tedium of this settled the butterflies.<br />
<br />
Once we were done with pictures we waited. Well, all except for Kyle who was helping to seat friends and family. The waiting was the worst part. That's when the nerves took hold. It didn't help that my "friends" were having a jolly time watching the nerves build and were encouraging them by telling me that the person I was there to meet was wearing an inappropriately-colored dress. Despite the dress having been described to me previously by other parties, they said it so much I started to worry that something had changed.<br />
<br />
Eventually, it was time to take our places. Bill, Steve, John and I stood at the front of the room. As the music played a beautiful woman entered from the back. Everyone stood to greet and honor her. Thankfully, she was wearing a flowing white dress with a slightly pink hue to it (and not the blazing red dress my friends had teased about). Her father walked her to the front of the church where he passed responsibility and entrusted me with her care.<br />
<br />
For twenty-three years I have loved and cared for my beautiful wife, Shelly. We've overcome obstacles and tested our vows but together we are strong. I love her more and more every day. Happy anniversary, sweetie. I love you.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-12305517357033537022013-05-09T21:51:00.000-05:002013-05-09T21:51:54.261-05:00Computers I Can Fix. Cars, Not So MuchMy car has somewhere around 160,000 miles. I knew I was due for a major malfunction, I just didn't know where the other shoe would drop. I was out running some errands when the car started to lurch forward then coast then lurch forward. It actually wouldn't move at all at one point. <br />
<br />
I talked to a mechanic and got the bad news that I likely needed a transmission rebuild and that would run me about $2,300.00... Ouch. I checked some other sources and learned that my problem could be as simple as, perhaps, low fluid. <br />
<br />
I checked the level, added more fluid, and took her out. She ran pretty well until I'd been out for a while and was traversing some hills when she again ceased engagement of forward momentum. A few more checks with a few more people in the know and it was decided that the fluid was dirty as hell, the crud was being stirred up, clogging the filter and impeding the flow. Once she sat for a bit, the sediment would settle out and she'd move again so that seemed reasonable.<br />
<br />
I called the local repair shop and asked about a flush and fill. After describing the symptoms they told me they wouldn't touch it because they'd had too many cases of the cars no longer moving after the procedure. Basically, the particles causing the problem were the only thing keeping the transmission together. <br />
<br />
So now, I turned to the Internet. I found a YouTube video entitled, "<a href="http://youtu.be/MsdPAadc9fY" target="_blank">10 Min Automatic Transmission Fluid Flush + Replacement</a>." It looked so easy. I said it LOOKED easy. He was even working on the same kind of car I drive. I consulted my Hanes manual, which provided even less detail, and decided to take the chance. I figured I couldn't make it much worse and might even get some more mileage out of it. <br />
<br />
I went out to my car and looked under the hood. I couldn't make heads or tails of it much less figure out where the feeder line was so I thought I would just drain and fill.<br />
<br />
And so I proceeded. I drove my car around the neighborhood a few laps to warm everything up then brought her home to start the procedure. I jacked up the car and put it on stands (NEVER work under a car supported only by a jack). I looked at the picture in the book then at the front of the transmission casing. Why are there <i>two</i> bolts? Let's see, liquid flows to the lowest point so I'll take out the bottom one.<br />
<br />
Funny, it looked like a regular bolt. The one in the video was larger and had a magnet on the end of it. And the fluid doesn't seem to be <i>flowing</i>, exactly. Maybe if I remove the other bolt, too, it will allow for some sort of air displacement... no, now I just have fluid dribbling out of two holes and slowly dripping off the bottom of the transmission.<br />
<br />
I wonder what would happen if I started the car? Would that cause the flow to increase? I'll start it then turn it off immediately and see what the result is... The result is I gotta go find the kitty litter.<br />
<br />
Okay, what if I stuck a tube in that hole <i>then</i> started the car? Let's see... the tube I have doesn't fit. I got it, I'll cut it at an extreme angle then jam it in there. Oh, hey, that kinda worked! ... but the drain pan wasn't <i>quite</i> under the spout... more kitty litter.<br />
<br />
I did that a couple more times with my wife starting the car so I could observe and catch the flow and decided that was good enough for now. It had been WAY longer than 10 minutes and I was tired. I put the plugs back in and topped off the fluid. Good news, she was still moving. Bad news, I hadn't drawn out nearly enough fluid to have drained it completely.<br />
<br />
The next night, round two. This one started pretty much the same but I let the car run much longer to be sure the fluid was nice and warm with a very low viscosity. Still, I got a miserable drip. This simply <i>can't </i>be right. Hmm, my tube doesn't seem to want to fit anymore. Ah, a box knife. Let me trim it a bit. There, that seems to be shoved in there pretty well. Let me go start the car... the tube didn't hold. More kitty litter, please.<br />
<br />
As it continues to dribble, I go back inside to again consult the internet on flushing the transmission fluid but this time I tell it exactly what kind of car I have.<br />
<br />
I came across, "<a href="http://youtu.be/u9iwelVI7PQ" target="_blank">2003-2007 Honda Accord Transmission drain and refill</a>." I start watching... "take out the dipstick so you get better air displacement." Hadn't done that. Pause... out to garage, remove dipstick and set aside, no change in flow, return to video. "Now we're at the drain plug. It's right here next to the oil pan. It faces sideways so..." Excuse me? It faces which way? Did you say sideways? SIDEWAYS? Pause... out to garage, look under car... I had been approaching the job pretty much from the passenger side. Guess which side the drain plug is on... yep - the driver's side. I put the bolt I had removed back and broke free the <i>correct</i> drain plug and the fluid came gushing out as expected.<br />
<br />
I went inside to finish watching the video. I wrapped up in another 15 minutes. I cleaned up ... well, I poured the old oil out of the drain pan into an old milk jug and shoved everything else aside ... and the wife and I went for a drive. Everything seems to have gone well. No hard shifting, no lurching, no... not... moving. I'll drive it around a few days, letting the remaining crud recirculate through the fluid, then do it all over again... minus the kitty litter, I hope.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-51250037704690840042013-04-28T19:24:00.000-05:002013-04-28T19:24:06.042-05:00Losing My ReligionI think it was Christmas about 8 or 10 years ago. I sat in a midnight mass at a Catholic church in Kansas City with my parents, my brother and sister and my wife. The priest stood at the altar and straightforward pointed out contradictions in The Bible. I don't recall what those contradictions were, exactly, just that they existed. I'm pretty sure that his point was to explain why those contradictions existed and what they meant but my mind locked on the existence of these contradictions. It was then, ironically on Christmas day, that my distaste for the church took firm root and began to grow.<br />
<br />
I want you to note that I did not say I had a distaste for God or Jesus or The Bible or religion itself. I have come to think of myself as a Christian agnostic. I believe in God or a supreme being by whatever name you wish to attach. There are too many mysteries and everyday miracles in life and evolution for me to believe otherwise. I believe in Jesus Christ and that he is of God and that he performed miracles and was tortured and died so that we might live.<br />
<br />
For some reason I find it hard to write that he is our savior - my savior - and only through him can we be accepted into heaven. In my core I think I believe that but maybe I've spent too many years distant from God. Maybe I am trying not to offend. Maybe the Catholic in me (I was raised in the Catholic church) doesn't want my dad to hear me talking like that. Catholics aren't big on witnessing.<br />
<br />
I began to think about The Bible. The books of The Bible were written so long ago in a language so forgotten that in order to read them we had to find a tablet translating them into a language we knew. As anyone who has studied a foreign language knows, there's always something lost. It can be as overt as a misinterpreted word or as hidden as a lack of requisite word in the destination language that captures the nuanced connotation of the original word. Then I started thinking about the different versions, or translations, of The Bible. One source I found said there are 233 in the English language alone. A few of the major versions are the New International Version, The King James Version, and The New American Standard Bible. Then there are paraphrased versions. I once looked at one of those and Psalm 23 read, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow, I am not afraid." Wouldn't you agree that saying it that way waters it down quite a bit?<br />
<br />
My biggest problem, however, is the variations in organized religions. Catholic, Baptist, Protestant, Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Mormon, 7th Day Adventists, Jehovah's Witness... These are really what I turned my back on. Some of them say they are the one true religion and that people from certain other religions are going to hell because of their beliefs. I can't abide that.<br />
<br />
When we moved to Boise, Idaho in April of 2007 our apartment was just down the street from a Catholic church. I went a couple of times while we were there - and I won't go into my thought processes during the 6 months we were in Idaho, it would take too long - but haven't stepped foot in a church of any type since we returned almost six years ago. And that includes Christmas and Easter.<br />
<br />
But today I went to church.<br />
<br />
In the years leading up to and since our temporary relocation to Idaho we have had one financial (and emotional) crisis after another. Our savings has been depleted and we live moment to moment some days. A paycheck just means we get to come back to zero for a little while. Don't get me wrong, we're not destitute but, for the most part, we merely exist. Even the simplest of excursions - say, to see my parents 300 miles away - requires careful planning and saving and sacrifice. As a temporary measure this wouldn't be so bad but it's been going on for more than six years. It wears you down.<br />
<br />
I used to pray to God for "enough" and he has treated us well in providing that. But lately "enough" just doesn't bring the inner peace that I know God can provide. So I have prayed. I have asked God to lift us up and to help my wife to find a job (she's experienced, educated, and good at what she does but nearly 3 years of intense effort has yielded almost nothing), and to bring us enough wealth and good fortune to bring that inner peace and allow us to visit family and friends without worry or major sacrifice, and to share our good fortune with those in need.<br />
<br />
And God answered. He said to me that in order for him to help me all I needed to do was to devote some time to Him. To learn about Him and keep His message flowing to me and through me. And I asked God where I should do that. I asked him about the conflict He knew I already had in my heart. I resisted him with my confusion and he finally said to me what I needed to hear. God told me that it doesn't matter where I go or what teacher I listen to. It just matters that I devote my time and my heart to Him. Listen to His message, in whatever form it takes, and allow Him to shape it in my ears and my mind and in my heart into the truth and understanding.<br />
<br />
For the first time in twenty years or more I am planning to go to church again next Sunday. The church I went to today was not the church for me and I may visit several congregations before I find that one where I feel I belong. But I was there. I gave time to God and I need to continue to give God his time so that I may know Him and he may know me in order to allow him to fulfill my needs according to his plan.Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-84267456415540075652012-11-03T07:20:00.000-05:002012-11-03T07:20:10.193-05:00The Mo Will Grow<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://mobro.co/joefusco">http://mobro.co/joefusco</a></div>
Well, here it is, the third day in my Movember journey. I have such dark hair (where it's still dark) and a heavy beard that there hasn't been a lot of change visible yet but there has been change. And yes, I shaved around the Mo before I took the picture.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhknwTspIZBC3B6iSiP_Cg782I5ZsdzRDJowwYsf8KuIE6YLEcspQlUc5ahA5w9C0zn2NvdBBXnho7BkEnRxCFDsulz5WI9n5Y4Xc4ptCPN1SySgxQe0DrgW-QXB07wSuf5BZa_/s1600/Movember3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhknwTspIZBC3B6iSiP_Cg782I5ZsdzRDJowwYsf8KuIE6YLEcspQlUc5ahA5w9C0zn2NvdBBXnho7BkEnRxCFDsulz5WI9n5Y4Xc4ptCPN1SySgxQe0DrgW-QXB07wSuf5BZa_/s320/Movember3.jpg" width="236" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Movember - Day 3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I haven't yet done the check I promised to do. I was not quite awake when I showered yesterday and forgot ball about it :).<br />
<br />
If you look back a couple of days you'll see my before and after picture. I've had a beard for the last 25 years so it's quite a commitment for me to start with a clean shaven face. That's how important this is to me. I hope you will show a commitment, too, and support me and the Movember cause by making a donation - large or small, it all helps.<br />
<ul>
<li>You can <b>donate online at: <a href="http://mobro.co/joefusco">http://mobro.co/joefusco</a></b>. </li>
<li>If you'd prefer to write a check and mail it in, make your check payable to 'Movember', referencing my Registration ID: 4260065 and mail it to: Movember, PO Box 2726, Venice CA 90294-2726</li>
</ul>
For more details, take a look at the Programs We Fund section on the Movember website: <a href="http://us.movember.com/about/funding-overview/">http://us.movember.com/about/funding-overview/</a><br />
<br />
Movember is a registered 501 (c)(3) charity, <b>donations are tax deductible</b> to the extent permitted by law.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-70171186870382665352012-11-01T10:20:00.002-05:002012-11-01T10:20:35.369-05:00For The Boys!Donate to Movember: <a href="http://mobro.co/joefusco">http://mobro.co/joefusco</a><br />
<b>Note</b>: Movember is a registered 501c3 non-profit, and donations are tax deductible.<br />
<br />
Movember isn't just about prostate cancer it's about all men's health issues - including testicular cancer. Yep, ball cancer is a real thing. Just ask Lance Armstrong.<br />
<br />
Testicular cancer is not common; a man's lifetime chance of developing testicular cancer is about 1 in 270. Because treatment is so successful, the risk of dying from this cancer is very low: about 1 in 5,000. Just because the chances of developing testicular cancer are low and the survival rate is high that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep track of your boys. You should do periodic self exams - just like the ladies do with their breasts.<br />
<br />
To be truthful, I've never done a testicular self exam so I turned to the America Cancer Society to educate me.<br />
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Testicular self-exam</h2>
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The best time for you to examine your testicles is during or after a bath or shower, when the skin of the scrotum is relaxed.</div>
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<li style="background-image: none; border: 0px; color: #565454; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 15px 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hold the penis out of the way and examine each testicle separately.</li>
<li style="background-image: none; border: 0px; color: #565454; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 15px 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hold the testicle between your thumbs and fingers with both hands and roll it gently between the fingers.</li>
<li style="background-image: none; border: 0px; color: #565454; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 15px 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px; vertical-align: baseline;">Look and feel for any hard lumps or nodules (smooth rounded masses) or any change in the size, shape, or consistency of the testes.</li>
</ul>
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You should be aware that each normal testis has an epididymis, which can feel like a small bump on the upper or middle outer side of the testis. Normal testicles also contain blood vessels, supporting tissues, and tubes that conduct sperm. Some men may confuse these with cancer at first. If you have any concerns, ask your doctor.</div>
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A testicle can get larger for many reasons other than cancer. Fluid can collect around the testicle to form a benign condition called a hydrocele. Other times, the veins in the testicle can dilate and cause enlargement and lumpiness around the testicle. This is called a varicocele. To be sure you have one of these conditions and not a tumor; you need to have a doctor examine you. The doctor may order an ultrasound exam (see the section, "<a href="http://www.cancer.org/ssLINK/testicular-cancer-diagnosis" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(148, 178, 220); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; color: #3067b3; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_top">How is testicular cancer diagnosed?</a>"). This is an easy and painless way of finding a tumor.</div>
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If you choose to examine your testicles, you will become familiar with what is normal and what is different. Always report any changes to your doctor without delay.</div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">Well, there you have it. It's easy. I'll be taking care of this simple task at some point in the near future.</span></div>
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Movember - Day 1</div>
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<a href="http://mobro.co/joefusco">http://mobro.co/joefusco</a></div>
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Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-50736298807761136332012-10-31T22:34:00.003-05:002012-11-01T10:21:19.204-05:00Happy Movember!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1MmqPAS_8GaygMsZpuHgxjsGI7-_rX-boIDhMs6Y5cBGzWyMLcAR1jq5gaJoxxPTQAXBx3_FJ3rF-T9vbqLNNFijqpmmhZKJySV3jQnsY7v6zHbhQQN1aAdikHfk34HPZB0Jh/s1600/Mo&sons-Mo-Icon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="108" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1MmqPAS_8GaygMsZpuHgxjsGI7-_rX-boIDhMs6Y5cBGzWyMLcAR1jq5gaJoxxPTQAXBx3_FJ3rF-T9vbqLNNFijqpmmhZKJySV3jQnsY7v6zHbhQQN1aAdikHfk34HPZB0Jh/s320/Mo&sons-Mo-Icon.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Somewhere around 20 years ago my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. At the time I didn't even know what a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostate" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">prostate</a> was. Turns out, it's something pretty important to get checked because about 1 man in 6 will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifetime. The American Cancer Society estimates about 241,740 new cases of prostate cancer will be diagnosed in 2012 and about 28,170 men will die of prostate cancer in 2012<sup><a href="http://www.cancer.org/cancer/prostatecancer/detailedguide/prostate-cancer-key-statistics" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">1</a></sup>. Thankfully, my father is a cancer survivor and is still with us today at the age of 74 years. Due to early detection and treatment cancer will likely not be a factor in his passing, which I hope is not for many more years yet.<br />
<br />
In the years since my father was diagnosed two things have happened. First, my parents have made sure that, since my mid-30s or so, I get regular screenings. Second, men's health awareness, especially in regards to prostate and testicular cancer, has increased significantly. That's what <a href="http://us.movember.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Movember</a> is all about.<br />
<br />
Movember is the global men's health charity engaging men to grow and women to support the Mo (moustache) for the 30 days of November. Through the power of the moustache, awareness and funds are raised for men’s health, specifically prostate and testicular cancer initiatives.<br />
<br />
One of the biggest obstacles men tackle in regards to general well-being, is a reluctance to discuss health issues they face either with their partner, family or doctor. Movember was born from recognition that a fun and engaging initiative could help encourage men to become more actively involved in their own health. Movember aims to increase awareness and support for men's health by getting conversations started at a grassroots level, educating men about the health risks they face and raising vital funds for support programs.<sup><a href="http://us.movember.com/media-room/movember-101/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">2</a></sup><br />
<br />
This year my employer, Dell computers, decided to support Movember and encourage participation. Because of how prostate cancer has touched my family I decided to participate. Here's the kicker: Rule #1 is participants <i>must start clean-shaven on November 1st</i>. I haven't seen my upper lip in almost thirty years and I haven't seen my chin in about twenty-five! Hey, it's for a good cause. No, it's for an excellent cause.<br />
<br />
<h2>
So, what can you do to help?</h2>
First and foremost: <b>Gentlemen, get yourself checked.</b> Starting at age 50, men should talk to a doctor about the pros and cons of testing so they can decide if testing is the right choice for them. If they are African American or have a father or brother who had prostate cancer before age 65, men should have this talk with a doctor starting at age 45. If men decide to be tested, they should have the PSA blood test with or without a rectal exam. How often they are tested will depend on their PSA level.<sup><a href="http://www.cancer.org/healthy/findcancerearly/cancerscreeningguidelines/american-cancer-society-guidelines-for-the-early-detection-of-cancer" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">3</a></sup><br />
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You can also donate straight from my Mo Space at <a href="http://mobro.co/joefusco">http://mobro.co/joefusco</a>. In each country, Movember partners with world class men’s health partners who share Movember’s vision of having an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health. In the United States the partners are the Prostate Cancer Foundation and the LiveSTRONG Foundation. For full details, see <a href="http://us.movember.com/about/money/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this page</a>.<br />
<br />
So, without further ado... here are my before and after pictures for the start of this journey:<br />
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<a href="http://mobro.co/joefusco"><span style="font-size: large;">http://mobro.co/joefusco</span></a></div>
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<b>Note</b>: Movember is a registered 501c3 non-profit, and donations are tax deductible.</div>
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<sup>1</sup> American Cancer Society - <a href="http://www.cancer.org/cancer/prostatecancer/detailedguide/prostate-cancer-key-statistics">http://www.cancer.org/cancer/prostatecancer/detailedguide/prostate-cancer-key-statistics</a><br />
<sup>2</sup> Movember and Sons - <a href="http://us.movember.com/media-room/movember-101/">http://us.movember.com/media-room/movember-101/</a><br />
<sup>3</sup> American Cancer Society - <a href="http://www.cancer.org/healthy/findcancerearly/cancerscreeningguidelines/american-cancer-society-guidelines-for-the-early-detection-of-cancer">http://www.cancer.org/healthy/findcancerearly/cancerscreeningguidelines/american-cancer-society-guidelines-for-the-early-detection-of-cancer</a><br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-90261360541359883642012-10-19T11:08:00.000-05:002012-10-19T11:09:46.549-05:00State Of The To Do ListBack in late December, rather than setting resolutions for the new year I created a <a href="http://unclebubby.blogspot.com/2011/12/things-to-do-in-2012.html" target="_blank">To Do List</a>. A list of goals for the year 2012, if you will. Some have fared well while others have been completely ignored. Here's a status update.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Get the new design/CMS for my celebrity photo site online</li>
<ul>
<li>Haven't touched it</li>
</ul>
<li>Complete one "Book of Me" entry per month</li>
<ul>
<li>This started out okay and I intended to keep up with it. On March 2, 2012 my friend Kevin and I recorded the first weekly episode of the <a href="http://tworamblingidiots.com/" target="_blank">Two Rambling Idiots Podcast</a>. The Book of Me posts went to the back burner but I think the podcast counts toward a check mark on this one.</li>
</ul>
<li>Watch 3 classic movies I've never seen</li>
<ul>
<li>The three movies I chose were <i>The Usual Suspects</i>, <i>Network</i>, and <i>The Trouble With Harry</i></li>
<li>I got <i>The Usual Suspects</i> and <i>Network</i> out of the way pretty quickly but I wasn't sure where or if I could find <i>The Trouble With Harry</i></li>
<li>I caught <i>The Third Man</i> on AMC the other night. It was one of the possibilities before I settled on <i>The Trouble With Harry</i> so I settled in and watched it</li>
<li>Check this one off, too</li>
</ul>
<li>Finish transferring my dad's Beatles albums to MP3</li>
<ul>
<li>I honestly can't recall if I've made progress on this or not but it's not done</li>
</ul>
<li>Sort out at least 25% of my "2 Sort" music folder</li>
<ul>
<li>I haven't even opened my 2 Sort music folder</li>
</ul>
<li>Unsubscribe from email lists I don't read</li>
<ul>
<li>I've marked this one done and have seriously reduced the amount of "noise" in my inbox</li>
<li>New ones I don't recall subscribing to keep popping up now and then but I'm taking care of those as they come along</li>
</ul>
<li>Leave myself notes to find/look for/open in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years</li>
<ul>
<li>I started writing one of these and abandoned the project</li>
<li>I had started recording a video diary and was interested to look back on the ones I'd recorded just a week or so before so I think my focus shifted on this one but I still scribbled it out on the list</li>
</ul>
<li>Make a short movie, just to say I did it</li>
<ul>
<li>I got the bug to do this one Saturday morning and even had a basic concept in mind. What I didn't have were actors. What I didn't have was access to actors willing to "wing it" with me (I didn't ask anyone). Then it came to me - action figures!</li>
<li>I went to the local store to grab a few and proceed to produce my... what's the opposite of masterpiece? What I didn't realize was that action figures are A) all either robots or aliens and wouldn't fit my production and B) WHEN DID ACTION FIGURES JUMP TO $9 EACH!!??</li>
<li>I came across a bunch of figures later at a garage sale for 10¢ each that would work great. They're now sitting in a drawer waiting for production to start. Good thing I don't have to pay them.</li>
</ul>
<li>Learn how to photograph people</li>
<ul>
<li>Any volunteers who would like to help me out with this by either being a tutor or subject?</li>
</ul>
<li>Earn an engineering-level technical certification</li>
<ul>
<li>This has been a start/stop/change subjects process but I think I finally have the right resources to accomplish this. Progress is stalled at the moment so I just have to follow through, study and get this out of the way.</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div>
And there you have the status report. One abandoned, three marked done, four unstarted and two in progress.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-23211326083196231892012-09-22T15:15:00.001-05:002012-09-22T15:16:18.811-05:00Seven Days And No Regrets<a href="http://unclebubby.blogspot.com/2012/09/moving-forward-behind-curve.html" target="_blank">A week ago today</a> I opted <i>not</i> to get the iPhone 5. I decided, instead, to upgrade my iPhone 3Gs to an iPhone 4S. I decided that the difference between the 3Gs and the 4S was enough to make the upgrade worthwhile but the difference between the 4S and the 5 wasn't enough to spend an extra $100 for the extra screen space.<br />
<br />
When I wrote about my decision I listed differences between different models, weighted them and scored them. In the past seven days I have updated the phone to iOS 6 and with experience have changed some of my ratings - for the better. A selection from my original list looked like this:<br />
<br />
<b><u>iPhone 4s v 3Gs</u></b><br />
Feature / Importance / Score (scale -10 to +10)<br />
Improved camera / 5 / 6<br />
FaceTime camera / 5 / 5<br />
Siri / 4 / 4<br />
Battery life improvement / 9 / 8<br />
<br />
Here's the amended version:<br />
<br />
<b><u>iPhone 4s v 3Gs</u></b><br />
Feature / Importance / Score (scale -10 to +10)<br />
Improved camera / 5 / 7 (panorama mode is awesome)<br />
FaceTime camera / 7 / 8 (I can video call my dad!)<br />
Siri / 6 / 6.5, especially with iOS 6 enhancements<br />
Battery life improvement / 9 / 9<br />
Dictation / 5 / 7 (it's quite accurate and very handy)<br />
<br />
I wanted so much to play with the phone and discover all of its bells and whistles in that first night but the overall experience and basic features are the same as the 3Gs. That in itself is extremely impressive. Think of how many times you've updated a Nokia or Motorola or Samsung phone only to have to get used to a completely different look, feel and function. Alas, I would have to wait for real-world usage to discover what Siri was capable of, how the maps app did, what the hell passbook is and how it works (still don't know), and what I could do with a gyroscope.<br />
<br />
The gyroscope was the first thing I played with. The other items would have to wait until Wednesday with the launch of iOS 6. I plugged "gyroscope" into the search bar of the app store and came up with a couple of freebies that I downloaded. One of them is called <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/planets/id305793334?mt=8" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Planets</a>. Planets maps out the stars in the sky for you showing you where they are in relation to where you are. The gyroscope lets you tilt up and down as well as turn left and right. I would tell you how cool it is to gaze at the stars with the assistance of this app but I haven't had a clear night sky to test it yet.<br />
<br />
When I tried out Siri that first night I was... underwhelmed. There didn't seem to be too much she could actually <i>do</i> for me beyond the standard voice control except search the web without opening the browser and give me a weather update. With the iOS 6 update she can post to FB and Twitter for me (she pronounces it tweeter, it's kinda funny), give me a rundown of the movies that are playing, tell me if the OSU cowboys are playing this weekend and give me score updates, and she can "take me home" using the turn-by-turn navigation in the new maps app.<br />
<br />
The maps app itself is just depressing. I didn't think it was possible to make maps flat, boring and utterly generic but Apple managed it. Plus there are <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/apple/9555177/Apple-criticised-over-new-iPhone-Maps-app.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">several stories</a> and <a href="http://news.cnet.com/8301-13579_3-57517404-37/apple-maps-in-ios-6-what-you-need-to-know-faq/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">reviews </a>of mistakes (like, <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2206094/iOS-6-review-Apples-new-iPhone-5-Map-app-criticised-missing-towns-calling-farm-airport.html?ito=feeds-newsxml" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">misplacing an entire town</a>), distorted <a href="http://allthingsd.com/20120920/apple-maps-app-takes-reality-distortion-to-a-whole-new-level/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">satellite views</a> and other shortcomings to be found on the web. I've tested the turn-by-turn and it's not bad but I'm keeping my Tom Tom. The iPhone screen is just too small (even if it was taller) and the speaker is not loud enough to hear clearly in normal situations. In a pinch, though, I imagine it would serve adequately.<br />
<br />
I posted a <a href="http://unclebubby.blogspot.com/2010/06/eight-days-and-no-looking-back.html" target="_blank">similar article</a> to this eight days after getting the 3Gs. In it I created a (very short) wish list which, for the most part, has come true. There's still no adjustable default alarm for the calendar app but we have the ability to flag mail and customize alerts for calendar, mail and voice mail. I will be very interested to see what the iTunes update brings us next month but I'm thrilled with the phone. And like that original article, there's no looking back.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-42447196101578593362012-09-16T08:47:00.001-05:002012-09-16T12:13:21.151-05:00Moving Forward Behind The CurveOn Sunday, <a href="http://unclebubby.blogspot.com/2010/06/drinking-kool-aid.html" target="_blank">June 13, 2010</a>, ten days before the iPhone 4 street date, I went into an AT&T store to ask some questions. I had been using a Windows Mobile 6.5 HTC Fuze for at least 18 months (I was eligible for an upgrade) and knew I wanted to upgrade to an iPhone but which iPhone should I choose?<br />
<br />
I had watched several other Windows Mobile users around me move into the Apple camp and every one of them said they had no desire to look back. What I wanted to know was if I should go ahead and buy a 16GB 3Gs for $99, a newly announced price, or wait and buy the 16GB 4 for $199. What was so compelling about the 4 that made it better than the 3Gs?<br />
<br />
During the course of my queries, the AT&T employee happened to mention that they had some stock of 3Gs units and had them on clearance. If I was willing to spend $199, he could get me into a 32GB 3Gs... but he only had black. I had been working with a 16GB Zune HD for several months by that time and knew that 16GB was a little underneath my usage. I often found myself having to manage my media to keep from filling the thing up. If white were the only choice it might have been a different decision (I hate white) but I dove on the opportunity and, like so many of my friends, <a href="http://unclebubby.blogspot.com/2010/06/eight-days-and-no-looking-back.html" target="_blank">never looked back</a>.<br />
<br />
Fast-forward to yesterday. My 3Gs has been <a href="http://unclebubby.blogspot.com/2011/11/ios5-on-iphone-3gs-disenchantment.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">showing its age</a> and it was time to upgrade. I knew AT&T would probably be offering the iPhone 4s at clearance prices I just wasn't sure if they had dropped yet. The likelihood that I might get an iPhone 5 any time soon was pretty slim. Availability was going to be an obvious problem but so was price. Money has been extremely tight lately but between a Google AdWords check and selling an old computer I had close to that $199 mark where I hoped the 4s would be. I seemed to recall an upgrade/buy-back plan and hoped I could get $50 or $60 for my 3Gs.<br />
<br />
Like before, the iPhone 5 does not have anything over the 4s that I <i>must</i> have. Here's how I broke it down.<br />
<br />
<b><u>iPhone 5 v 4s</u></b><br />
Feature / Importance / Score (scale -10 to +10)<br />
Larger screen / 2 / 4<br />
Improved camera / 3 / 4<br />
CPU 2x faster than the 4s / 9 / 7<br />
4G LTE / 5 / 9 [Note: 4G LTE availability in my city is still at least a year off, by my estimation]<br />
3 mics - noise cancellation / 6 / 5<br />
Battery life improvement / 9 / ?<br />
Lightning dock connector / -8 / -5<br />
[Note: I have a few accessories with the 30-pin connector and the adapter compatibility is untested as yet]<br />
32GB capacity price / 10 / 6<br />
<br />
<b><u>iPhone 4s v 3Gs</u></b><br />
Feature / Importance / Score (scale -10 to +10)<br />
Retina Display / 5 / 8<br />
Improved camera / 5 / 6<br />
FaceTime camera / 5 / 5<br />
Camera flash / 9 / 8<br />
CPU 4x? faster than the 3Gs / 9 / 9<br />
Gyroscope / 5 / 5<br />
Siri / 4 / 4<br />
<div>
Battery life improvement / 9 / 8</div>
30-pin dock connector / 9 / 7<br />
32GB capacity price / 10 / 9<br />
<br />
So, my first question was about the buy-back program. AT&T does, in fact, have a buy-back program. My 3Gs is in near-mint condition, 100% operational with an unblemished screen. He looked it up and told me they would give $84 for it. That's a 42% return after 2 years! Maybe I could get a little more off eBay or Craigslist but then I'd have to hassle with listing it and shipping it and I had $84 of value being offered right here and now. I told them I'd take the 32GB 4s.<br />
<br />
I had set my 3Gs to backup to iCloud while we were waiting for our turn so that part was done. Before clearing the 3Gs we waited for the restore to the 4s - that took a little longer. About half way through the time remaining started counting <i>up</i>. At the 3/4 mark it started coming back down and eventually finished after about 30 minutes. It still needed to download all of my purchased apps and I would have to restore my music files but other than that it was absolutely seamless. Once I got home even iTunes accepted the new hardware as if nothing had changed. Beautiful and painless.<br />
<br />
Once I'd given the 4s the once-over we wiped the 3Gs and I went home to play with my new toy a bit. Actually, connecting to iTunes and getting all of my apps and over 3,600 songs back onto it took a good chunk of that time. With both devices running iOS 5.1.1 the experience is almost identical. I have a few extras available to me now but it operates exactly the same - only faster, which is something very important.<br />
<br />
I called my friend, Kevin, via FaceTime as soon as I got home. The conversation went a little something like this:<br />
<br />
Kevin: Hey, what's up?<br />
Joe: I got a new toy.<br />
K: What'd you get?<br />
J: How am I calling you?<br />
K: Via FaceTime<br />
J: And what do I need to call you via FaceTime?<br />
K: COOL! You got a new phone!<br />
<br />
Now I eagerly await iOS 6 (instead of dreading how much it's going to cripple my phone)Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-39557417665473647792012-08-06T11:56:00.000-05:002012-08-06T11:57:03.454-05:00Total Recall Doesn't Recall Totally<b>CAUTION: POSSIBLE SPOILERS</b> (you've been warned)<br />
<br />
Over the weekend I went to see the Colin Farrell-starring remake/reboot of the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi hit, Total Recall. It was fun but I prefer the original - Cheezy as Ah-nold might be.<br />
<br />
Really, the opening scene kinda lost it for me. It takes place at some point before they insert the "memory cap" and Melina is part of the scene. You quickly find out it's a "dream" but now we've been introduced to the female protagonist. For me, this spoiled the potential for any sort of "what is reality?" scenario. It also ruined any possibility of discovery as the character discovers.<br />
<br />
The 1990 movie was an action movie with guns blazing and exploding fake heads but it also had a lot of character development. The resistance went beyond Melina and Kuato. You met and cared about, at least superficially, their friends, mutated by sub-standard habitat domes on Mars and forced to pay, literally, for the right to breathe. You understood what they were fighting for.<br />
<br />
The update focuses only on four major and one minor character. You have Quaid/Hauser, Melina, Cohaagen, and Lori (the "wife"). Then you throw in the co-worker(/agent?), Harry. Everybody else is pretty much a plot device or NPC. Heck, about half the cast are security robots. I cared about Quaid, being the protagonist, could have easily dealt with Melina biting it and kept waiting for Ferrell to shoot Lori in the head and say, "consider that a divorce."<br />
<br />
As for plot, the two stories diverge widely there. The 1990 version is set on Mars, same as the short story it's based on, and Quaid/Hauser has been convinced to fight against a tyrannical CEO of the company stripping Mars of its minerals. Conditions are reminiscent of how the coal companies used to run mines in the 1930's. Workers were purposely kept impoverished, lived in sub-standard living conditions, received almost no health care, and depended on the company for almost everything. Cohaagen runs Mars in much the same way but, as I stated before, the people literally count on him for the air they breathe.<br />
<br />
The remake is more of a political struggle and takes place exclusively on Earth. Chemical warfare has made all but the United Federation of Brittain (the U.K.) and The Colony (Australia) uninhabitable. The two are connected by a tunnel bored through the earth. Travel is accomplished via "The Fall" and takes less than 20 minutes from station to station. Think of it like a giant bank vacuum tube.<br />
<br />
The basic scenario is that the people of the UFB are relatively well off - clean streets, shiny buildings, etc. - and The Colony is impoverished and oppressed, comprised mostly of unskilled labor for the UFB. I never did quite figure out exactly what the resistance was resisting but Matthias, leader of the resistance, was being blamed by Cohaagen for various "terrorist attacks" in the UFB.<br />
<br />
As the movie goes on the audience is informed that Colony residents are seen as a lower class but it's not really touched on as to why. Were they allied with the losing side in the war? Are they just poor and "dirty"? Is it a matter of national pride for the UFB to hate them? We don't know.<br />
<br />
As it turns out, Cohaagen is carrying out the "terrorist" attacks himself in order to justify creating a larger army of his "synthetic" police force. In reality, Cohaagen despises The Colony and wants to invade it, wipe it off the face of the earth and replace the unskilled workforce with robots. We're not really told why. I mean, Cohaagen is an asshole, obviously, but we don't really get the full effect of his assholity (I can make up words if I want!) thus making the entire crux of the plot fall totally flat.<br />
<br />
The action sequences were great - especially the car chase and the elevator jumping. The problem was that the movie relies on them to carry it. It's like the plot is a device to get to the next action sequence rather than the action sequences helping to advance the plot.<br />
<br />
My recommendation: Wait for it to come out on cable or use a freebie sms code from Redbox.<br />
<br />Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5546919.post-7338762282207715322012-07-13T00:39:00.000-05:002012-07-13T00:39:33.283-05:00A Long But Nearly Perfect DayI woke up just before 2:30 AM Central this morning (20 minutes before the alarm I had set). I was scheduled for a 6:30 AM flight out of Oklahoma City, which is about an hour and a half away. I traveled to Portland, Oregon for my best friend Bill's wedding. This is round 2 for him. I was best man the first time around and I'm best man this time, too.<br />
<br />
We left the house around 3:30 AM. We stopped at Wal-Mart so I could get some luggage tags (I haven't flown in over 5 years and a couple of my bags had changed), we stopped at the gas station for a Coca Cola for the wife and were on our way.<br />
<br />
We arrived at the airport a little after 5:00 AM and got into the terminal a few minutes later. There was a LONG line at the ticketing counter and they were making "final calls" for the 6:00 AM flights. I had checked in via the airline web site and pre-paid for my checked bag so all I really had to do was hand them my bag and head for the gate but I took my place in line.<br />
<br />
In order to expedite, a gate agent came out and asked if there was anyone who had checked in and just needed to handle baggage. I stepped forward. As I was waiting for the agent to get my airport tag printed, a lady walked up to the counter and asked another agent about a 5:50 AM flight. The response was, "I'm sorry, ma'am, you have to be checked in at least 30 minutes prior to your flight [I didn't know that!]. You've missed it. Take a spot in line and we'll get you taken care of." D'oh!<br />
<br />
The agent helping me finished up with my bag and I headed for security. There are two security 'portals' at Will Rogers airport. I had heard the other agent tell someone to go to the area at the opposite end of the terminal from where my gate was because the line was shorter because nobody was really heading that way. I stepped that direction, kissed my wife good-bye and went to stand in line.<br />
<br />
I was through security in probably ten minutes. I cleared the metal detector without incident, nobody asked me any questions, and nobody asked to inspect my bags. I found an empty chair, put my shoes on, and walked to the other end of the terminal to my gate (it's not a huge terminal. the walk took me about 3 minutes). I stopped to grab a protein bar (hadn't eaten yet) and took the few extra steps to the actual gate.<br />
<br />
When I arrived, people were standing around as if they were waiting their turn to board. I asked someone and, sure enough, they were already boarding and were on group 2. My boarding pass said group 1 so I basically walked straight onto the plane.<br />
<br />
The flight was uneventful except for some noise at takeoff that made our jet sound like it had propellers. Not sure what it was all about but the pilot sitting next to me on the second leg (there were at least 3 in the cabin) didn't seemed concerned so I wasn't either.<br />
<br />
We had a stop in Denver but I didn't have to change planes so I stayed put. After everyone else got off, I realized I was the only one from Oklahoma City that was continuing to Portland. Except for the crew, I had the plane all to myself for about 20 minutes. Kinda cool.<br />
<br />
When we arrived in Portland, I got off the plane and headed to baggage claim and answered the call of nature at a nearby restroom. I came out of the restroom just in time to see my bag coming out of the hole in the wall. I walked right up, grabbed it, and went to the car rental counter.<br />
<br />
The rental experience didn't go quite as planned. The agent was extremely friendly and efficient and the transaction was very smooth. It was all of the extras that got me.<br />
<br />
First, I paid an extra $7 per day to go from a Nissan Versa to a Toyota Corolla. I wouldn't have minded the Versa (the wife drives one) but she sold me on cruise control. The wedding is at a vineyard about an hour out and I likes my cruise control.<br />
<br />
The next extra was basic insurance. I explained that my auto insurance covered me for a rental and initially declined. The agent explained that Oregon is a <span style="background-color: white;">loss-of-use state. What that means is that, should I be in an accident, I am responsible for the daily rental rate of the car until it is put back into service. If it takes 2 weeks to fix it, I'm on the hook for 2 weeks of rental. The basic insurance absolves me of that responsibility. I begrudgingly took it for a nominal charge of $19 per day.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Then there was the pre-paid fuel. I jumped on this straight away. It means I don't have to fill up the car before I return it (meaning I don't have to find a gas station before I return it). I can bring it in on fumes and just hand them the keys. I sorta planned on doing this anyway. It was something like $40. Yeah, they make money off of it but it saves me some hassle.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">In the end, our $90 rental car for the entire four days got "rounded up" to $234. Then, because I used a debit card, they tack on a $200 deposit that is refunded within 24 hours of returning the car. Yeah, my debit card took a hit for $434 and I hadn't left the airport yet. C'est la vie.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">I called Bill and arranged to meet him at a coffee shop not far from his house (about 30 minutes from the airport). He gave me the address and I gave the address to Alan, my GPS. When Alan told me I had reached my destination I thought he had steered me wrong. I called Bill and the conversation went something like this:</span><br />
<br />
Me: I don't think I'm in the right place.<br />
Bill: Where are you?<br />
Me: I'm in an industrial park.<br />
Bill: You're in the right place.<br />
<br />
As it turns out, this place is a coffee <i>roaster</i> with the coffee shop attached. Hence, the industrial park. My problem was that they don't believe in signs around here that shout HERE WE ARE! I found it shortly after that and we had a very good and very pleasant lunch.<br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">It is now 10:30 PM Portland time, which means I'm 2 hours shy of being up for 24 hours. I dozed a bit on the plane and managed to squeeze in a nap this afternoon but I'm still tired. It's off to sleepy-land for me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00212905254149810590noreply@blogger.com0Tigard, OR, USA45.4312294 -122.771486145.3866574 -122.8504501 45.4758014 -122.6925221