Joe and Kevin's Excellent Adventure

As you already know from the previous audio posts, Kevin and I went down to the First Saturday Computer Sale in Dallas. You also know we got "lost" in downtown Dallas at one in the morning. but that's not the whole story.

A word of advice. If you're going on a road trip with a friend, unless that friend has been to your destination so many times that he could get there blindfolded, take the time to look up your destination and exit paths on the internet before you leave. That's right, folks, we got lost more than once.

Here was the plan: Leave Stillwater after work on Friday, getting on the road around 6pm, arrive in Dallas with plenty of time, shop for about 3 hours, then head back to Stillwater and get home between 8am and 10am Saturday. The sale officially begins at 1am but you can apparently get some good bargains flashlighting trunks as people are unloading. The plan didn't go... well, it didn't go as planned.

First, we ended up not leaving Stillwater until almost 7pm and we stopped to see Kevin's dad in Edmond for about an hour before really getting on the road. Didn't matter - we had plenty of time.

The first "sign" of trouble came after we were well into Texas.

As you travel South on I-35 toward, you eventually pass signs telling you to take I-35W to go to Fort Worth and I-35E to Dallas. It was shortly after passing the first of these signs - just before midnight - that Kevin asked, "What's the best way to get to the East side of downtown? 75, isn't it?" I misunderstood the question and told him to take I-35E to Dallas. "I know that, but I want to be on the East side of Dallas."

"How should I know? You're the one who's done this before." It was at this time that I realized that Kevin was relying on me to be a navigator but had failed to mention this to me. Click here for my reaction

We continued to Dallas without much more dialogue about directions. Once we got to downtown, Kevin starts looking around like he's trying to remember which exit to take. "Look for the Adam's Mark hotel. I know how to get to the sale from there." About the only thing I can make out at this point is the giant illuminated ball of Reunion Arena and we're rapidly approaching it. Very quickly after, we passed it. I suggested that Kevin leave the interstate before we left Dallas. He took the next exit and quickly explained, "Oh! I know exactly where we are." (remember this phrase - you'll hear it again) It was just before one in the morning and I though to myself, "oh, good, we should be there in no time."

Kevin continued driving East. I eventually asked him if I could help looking for a street. "I'm looking for Pearl street." Okay - I start looking for Pearl Street.

"That next street is Pearl. Do you know which way to turn?" (pause) "That street we just passed is Pearl. Why didn't you turn?"

As we proceeded East, Kevin again announced, "I know exactly where we are." Oh, goody. Maybe we'll be there soon. He takes a right and we find ourselves on 75 heading North. Kevin is again examining the landscape. "Oh, look," I exclaim, "now we know where the Target store is... perhaps we should think about turning around?" Kevin follows my advice and we head South on 75.

"I just need to find the Adam's Mark. I know how to get there from the Adam's Mark."

I look up, see the hotel and announce, "twelve o'clock. we're on the right track."

Kevin answers, "Oh, okay... I know exactly where we are now." (why am I not sure?) We continue on 75. A bit before the hotel, I suggest that we go ahead and get off the highway. Kevin waits until we're past it. Hello? Am I talking too softly?

"Hey, we've been here before," I announce as we leave the exit ramp.

"Shutup."

We find our way back to Pearl street and turn North. A couple of blocks later, we turn West... bad move. I thought we'd found the local business women but it turned out it was just a bunch of people hanging out in and near the entrance of a rather shady looking club. The music was thumping but there weren't any other signs of life in the near vicinity. We moved on.

Eventually, we found our way back to I-35 near where we had gotten off in the first place. I'm not sure if I said it or Kevin did but the phrase (say it with me), "I know exactly where we are," was uttered.

I figured we were going to turn about, go back past Reunion Arena, and turn on Pearl street this time - which is basically what we did. This time, however, we turned into the downtown area instead of away from it. We zigzagged a bit longer and the second time we passed the same point, I asked Kevin, "I thought you knew where this thing was?"

"I know how to get to Dallas," he responds.

"Well, duh. I could have gotten us to Dallas. You should have told me you wanted me to navigate."

I made my second call. Kevin made some disparaging remarks about my lineage. Not really, it just sounded funny so I threw it in. I do think he told me to do something that is anatomically impossible, though.

At any rate, we found the sale about 5-10 minutes later and commenced to shopping. I wasn't really looking for anything in particular but I did find a couple of bargains, including a longer power cord for my laptop and some marginal hard drives (2 standard and one laptop) for $5 - total, not each.

A couple hours in, we stopped at The Wurst Wagon for some nourishment. I ordered a bratwurst that, sorry Kevin, I wasn't overly impressed with. It was good but thanks to the German-American society in Tulsa, OK, I've tasted really good bratwurst. Kevin had a monster which is basically an 11oz hot dog that was about twice as long as the bun.

After our early-morning nosh, we shopped a couple more hours then our weary legs told us it was time to go home. Kevin immediately headed East out of the parking lot and proceeded to travel parallel to highway 75. When we passed the Target store again, both of us started looking for an entrance to the highway. We found one and were on our way.

"Hey, if we continue on this highway, we're going to end up in Tulsa, aren't we?" I inquired after passing the George Bush turnpike (East/West) in the middle of downtown Dallas. Kevin agreed. "Do we really want to drive to Tulsa, then drive back to Stillwater?"

"Probably not."

"Isn't there some way to head West and get back to 35?"

"I think we just passed it."

"Oh."

About 15 miles North, we pass the Motel 6 in Plano, TX at which time, Kevin proclaims... "I know exactly where we are." It was too bad he still didn't know how to get where we were going. About three miles further and we find a nice, well-lit gas station on Legacy Drive where we ask directions.

"Just head West on Legacy Drive and you'll get there." Cool. Except I discover while looking at mapquest while I'm writing this that straight West will put us in Lake Dallas before it puts us at I-35. Doesn't matter. About 20 minutes down the road, the signs of civilization thin out and the street goes dark. I remark, as if I'm reading a sign, "Road ends, 25 feet." Kevin panics but I assure him I'm just kidding. Unfortunately, about 20 seconds later, we hit a roadblock. Luckily, it's now after 6am and the McDonalds we just passed is open for business... or directions.

"Head West on Legacy drive about 5 minutes and you'll find I-35."

Kevin responded, "That would be cool except we run into a dead-end in about 30 seconds."

"Okay, turn right out of the parking lot, then left. Follow the road around and you'll see 35. Two turns and you're there."

RIGHT!

Eventually, we ended up at an intersection where going straight looks to go onto farm land and turning left or right takes us onto a well-traveled state highway. We took the highway (it ended up being 423). A couple miles up the road, we find a convenience mart and stop - again - to find out where we are and how to get to I-35. Kevin went in and I stayed in the car to watch the wild gestures of the attendant. When Kevin got back I asked, "Let me guess. At some point, we need to veer right?"

Basically, he gave us instructions - correct, for once - how to get to highway 380, which by 7:30 in the morning - over two and a half hours after we left the sidewalk sale - took us to Denton, TX, right behind the outlet mall that is right off I-35. Kevin and I did a deep sleprived joyful laugh, turned right, and headed home.

For as much crap as we gave each other on this trip, we both laughed, we both relaxed and we both got the hell out of Dodge. Which, by the way, was the only important part of the entire trip.