While You're Making Other Plans

I'm not sure I ever had a plan for my life. I can't tell you what, as a child, I wanted to be when I grew up as it changed from week to week, sometimes day to day. Heck, I still don't know. No, there was no plan, but there were expectations.

Whether my expectations were set by observing my parents and their friends or by society and the media I really can't say. But I'm almost 50 years old now and I'm not where I expected to be.

I expected I would be married and have a deep, deep passion for my "soul mate." I love my wife, whom I've been married to more than half my life now (27 years this year), and will love her deeply until I draw my dying breath but there seems to be a piece of that puzzle that either doesn't quite fit or is from a different picture.

I expected I would have children. This is something that has contributed to many existential crises as I get older. I see my friends doting on their children and now their grandchildren. My heart aches and regret swells.

I expected I would know more. This is more one of perception. I am aware that I have knowledge that many are ignorant of and that I am ignorant of many things that others have knowledge of. I do not aspire to be the smartest person in the room - several others took up that mantle long ago - but  I hunger to understand more of the things I do know and wonder what I am missing.

I expected I would be better compensated. Many reading this probably had this same expectation. I saw people in TV shows and real-life who seemed to constantly move forward in their careers. All I ever seem to do is move sideways and when I do move forward it's either so big a leap that I can't handle it or it's into something far, far worse than where I am.

With so many expectations, whether realistic or fantastic, having outcomes that I would consider not toward the positive, is it any wonder I suffer from depression? Or is it the depression that makes me feel that my expectations haven't been met?

I've read enough business success and self-help books to know that I really need to shape my own destiny. The problem is that my destiny is a giant lump of drab, gray modeling clay sitting on the table before me that I have no earthly idea how to shape. It's not that I don't understand the mechanics of shaping it or that I don't feel I have the skill. The skill really doesn't matter as it can be refined over time. What I don't have is a vision. Will it be a human figure(ine)? What about something utilitarian like a cell phone stand? Maybe something grander like a model building or even a statue? Should it be something serious? Or something fun and outlandish? I just don't know. I stare and I stare but it just won't tell me what it wants to be. And for all my wishing (and judicious use of "The Force") it just won't shape itself.

So what to do about it? I need to discover what that lump of clay needs to become. Should I ask it questions? Should I simply push on it here and there and see what it starts to look like? Actually, that last one won't work. I tried that. I also tried starting to shape it into something - anything - to see what it looked like but usually ended up squishing it back into a lump.

I'm rambling. It's time to stop since I'm obviously not going to figure it all out in one blog post. I have no idea how to close out of this so I just say TTFN.

State Of The To Do List

Back in late December, rather than setting resolutions for the new year I created a To Do List. A list of goals for the year 2012, if you will. Some have fared well while others have been completely ignored. Here's a status update.

• Get the new design/CMS for my celebrity photo site online
• Haven't touched it
• Complete one "Book of Me" entry per month
• This started out okay and I intended to keep up with it. On March 2, 2012 my friend Kevin and I recorded the first weekly episode of the Two Rambling Idiots Podcast. The Book of Me posts went to the back burner but I think the podcast counts toward a check mark on this one.
• Watch 3 classic movies I've never seen
• The three movies I chose were The Usual Suspects, Network, and The Trouble With Harry
• I got The Usual Suspects and Network out of the way pretty quickly but I wasn't sure where or if I could find The Trouble With Harry
• I caught The Third Man on AMC the other night. It was one of the possibilities before I settled on The Trouble With Harry so I settled in and watched it
• Check this one off, too
• Finish transferring my dad's Beatles albums to MP3
• I honestly can't recall if I've made progress on this or not but it's not done
• Sort out at least 25% of my "2 Sort" music folder
• I haven't even opened my 2 Sort music folder
• Unsubscribe from email lists I don't read
• I've marked this one done and have seriously reduced the amount of "noise" in my inbox
• New ones I don't recall subscribing to keep popping up now and then but I'm taking care of those as they come along
• Leave myself notes to find/look for/open in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years
• I started writing one of these and abandoned the project
• I had started recording a video diary and was interested to look back on the ones I'd recorded just a week or so before so I think my focus shifted on this one but I still scribbled it out on the list
• Make a short movie, just to say I did it
• I got the bug to do this one Saturday morning and even had a basic concept in mind. What I didn't have were actors. What I didn't have was access to actors willing to "wing it" with me (I didn't ask anyone). Then it came to me - action figures!
• I went to the local store to grab a few and proceed to produce my... what's the opposite of masterpiece? What I didn't realize was that action figures are A) all either robots or aliens and wouldn't fit my production and B) WHEN DID ACTION FIGURES JUMP TO $9 EACH!!??
• I came across a bunch of figures later at a garage sale for 10¢ each that would work great. They're now sitting in a drawer waiting for production to start. Good thing I don't have to pay them.
• Learn how to photograph people
• Any volunteers who would like to help me out with this by either being a tutor or subject?
• Earn an engineering-level technical certification
• This has been a start/stop/change subjects process but I think I finally have the right resources to accomplish this. Progress is stalled at the moment so I just have to follow through, study and get this out of the way.

And there you have the status report. One abandoned, three marked done, four unstarted and two in progress.

Things To Do In 2012

As 2011 draws to a close, as pretty much any year draws to a close, people start making resolutions for the new year. The most popular, by far, is to lose weight with other contenders such as quitting smoking, drinking less, furthering education, etc. rounding out the top 10.

I don't do resolutions. Resolutions are often not specific enough and fall into the category of things we say to ourselves on a daily basis as we look at ourselves in the mirror. "I really need to lose weight," or "I really need to quit smoking," or "I really should..." They're often ideas, not goals, which only sets us up for failure. How many of you have formulated a specific resolution like, "I will lose 20 pounds by March 31 in order to look my best for my sister's wedding in May."? Anyone?

The second reason I don't do resolutions is that they are often forgotten or put aside by mid-February. We don't hold ourselves accountable. We don't go back to those resolutions periodically to ask ourselves, "How am I doing?" If that's the case, why bother?

The third, but not necessarily final, reason I don't do resolutions is that they are often singular. Hey, we don't want to make our selves crazy by resolving to lose weight, quit smoking, drink less, further our education AND blog more. That's way too much to work on at once,

This year, I decided that I would do something similar but different. I have a few long-term projects I want/need to work on and a few things I want to learn. With that in mind, I decided to come up with a To Do list for the new year. So, without further adew, adieu, adoo, delay, I bring you my list of 10 Things To Do in 2012.

1. Get the new design/CMS for my celebrity photo site online.
• As I was originally designing the new look and readying to transfer to a new Content Management System, I decided I wanted to re-crop, resize, and watermark all of my pictures. Because of my glasses at the time, I ended up leaning in to the monitor and tilting my head back as I worked... for an entire day. I got a lot done but I was hurting for over a week after that and haven't really picked it up since. It's time to Git 'R Done.
2. Complete one "Book of Me" entry per month
• Part of the reason I keep a blog is to collect my stories. I want to do more with that so by the end of 2012, I should have at least 12 new personal stories collected here.
3. Watch 3 classic movies I've never seen
• I love movies. Plenty of people know that and I will often find myself in a discussion about movies. Many friends have told me I need to see The Usual Suspects. So this is the year I will do that. But why stop there? Let's make it 3 movies I haven't seen.
1. The Usual Suspects
2. Network
3. The Trouble With Harry
4. Finish transferring my dad's Beatles albums to MP3
• I've had the records for about 2 years now. It's time I finished that project.
5. Sort out at least 25% of my "2 Sort" music folder
• It's a collection of music I have acquired that is mis-tagged, mis-labeled or just not sorted into a genre or artist folder yet. It's time to get it knocked out a little bit.
6. Unsubscribe from email lists I don't read
• My inbox is a MESS. It always is. I need to reduce some of the clutter and noise so unsubscribing from lists and newsletters I don't read is a great way to at least accumulate a little less.
7. Leave myself notes to find/look for/open in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years
• I saw this on a list I found on the internet. It actually said to leave yourself a note in a library book and look for it 20 years later. I don't want to invest that kind of time (although I may do it just to leave a note to the finder).
8. Make a short movie, just to say I did it
• This is another one I found on the internet. It said it shouldn't be a YouTube video but an actual movie, with a story. This may be the most difficult to accomplish but it sounds like fun.
9. Learn how to photograph people
• I love photography but I'm not too great at it. I have a camera-shy wife and no kids so most of my photos are landscapes and animals. I'm slowly getting better at that but I suck at portraits. I have a few friends who are professional photographers so I think I'm going to hit them up for some pointers. Now, if I only had a test subject. Anyone want to volunteer?
10. Earn an engineering-level technical certification
• I had a hard time with this last one. I wasn't sure what I wanted to put on the list. I'm not even sure I want this on the list. The fact of the matter is, however, that in order to progress in my job, I need an e-level cert. I have a hard time putting forth the effort for self-study, for various reasons, so I have had a lot of false starts. But here it is, my public declaration that I will do this. I will do this within a year.

So, that's the list. I will type it up neatly, post it where I can see it, refer to it throughout the year and give regular progress reports.

Oh, before I go, I should tell you my resolution for the new year is to take better care of myself. I'm starting to get a little fluffy.

Random Word

I read something about a random word generator on another blog and decided to Google it. I found one and the word it gave me was "Biscuit."

Alright... let's go with that.

The first thing that came to mind was biscuit head. I don't know what that means to you but in my experience it's a softer and familial way to call someone a fu*king idiot. A way to point out the stupidity the already know they are burdened with. "You decided it would be a good idea to throw the turkey into the fryer from the second-floor balcony? You're such a biscuit head."

There's also the biscuit used in woodworking. A small tab used to join two pieces of wood together.

Dictionary.com shows more than 10 definitions for Biscuit.

There's biscuit mix, biscuit bread, cookies are called biscuits in some parts of the world, there's biscuit-colored, and "a piece of plastic or the like, prepared for pressing into a phonograph record." (didn't know that one), You can "take the biscuit," bake biscuits, eat a biscuit, float an air biscuit, - I wouldn't recommend eating an air biscuit - and I'm sure many other things that Google is not revealing to me.

Ever notice how when you say a word over and over and over and over it starts to sound weird?

The invasion of popular culture

I'm testing out Blogger for iPhone. Thought I would share what I saw at the store the other day. I'm surprised it took this long.

Finally

After 21 years of marriage and 19 years living in a single-family home, my wife and I have finally accomplished something we've never done before.

We parked one of our cars in the garage.

The wife has spent most of the weekend selling various items on Craigslist, redistributing items via FreeCycle, donating items to Goodwill and simply disposing of junk. this afternoon, we pulled her car into the garage and closed the door.

The chances of us getting my car in there as well as pretty slim but it's not outside the realm of possibility. Maybe in another 10 or 12 years.

Sent from my iPhone

One Hell Of A Week

Let's start with this lovely picture right here. That's my car after an accident that happened Monday evening. This picture was sent to me on Friday by the insurance adjuster. Prior to that, I had no idea what damage had been done to my car.

I don't want to say much about the accident itself except that my vehicle made contact with another vehicle while I was making a right turn. I was wearing my seat belt. The air bags did not deploy. We're 99% sure nothing was broken or fractured but I was jostled about quite seriously. Here's what went through my head.

What happened? You were in a car accident. Okay... Turn off the vehicle. [I turn off the key and take my foot off the brake. The car starts to roll slightly] Put it in park... that's good, now you can take your foot off the brake.


Okay, am I hurt? Are you? Let's see, I felt my right shoulder get wrenched pretty good. My arm was numb down to the elbow for about 30 seconds but it's OK now. My shoulder and the right side of my neck hurt. Yes, I'm hurt but not too bad, apparently.

I should go check on the other guy. Make sure he's alright. No, you shouldn't. You should stay right where you are. Are you sure? First, you are partially in a traffic lane and you would be opening your door into traffic that is already moving around you. That's just not safe. Second, you don't know the exact extent of your injuries. Right.

...

There's something else... Oh, I should call my wife and tell her I've been in an accident. Shouldn't you call the police first and report the accident? Yeah, right, police first. Would this be considered an emergency? Just get your phone out and dial 911 - this qualifies. [I reach back to pull my phone out of its case and my arm is stiff and sore] Yep, wrenched that pretty good. [I report the accident and request medical assistance as well]


How bad is the damage, I wonder? Don't concern yourself with that now. I'm not concerned, just curious. You should at least wait until the police arrive so it will be safe(er) for you to exit the vehicle. Okay, you're right.

Oh, wait, I still need to call the wife. [I call and inform her of the accident and describe where it hurts. The police show up so I tell her I will call her back in a few minutes.]

The officer takes my license and insurance information. He asks if I was the one who requested the ambulance and I tell him yes. He tells me to sit tight and wait for the EMT crews to arrive... which I do.

I won't bore you with the details of how I told six people my name and DOB and told four people where it hurt before we left the scene. Because I complained of neck pain, a fireman got into my back seat and held my head until the ambulance arrived. They then proceeded to wrap me in one of those rigid C-Collars (not fun, not comfortable) and helped me out onto a back board. I went from looking at the dashboard to looking at the sky. The other vehicle was obscured by a sign and the corner of a building so I was ignorant of many details when I left the scene.

Note: While the fireman was holding my head, I used my bluetooth speakerphone to call the wife back and tell her to meet me at the hospital.

The E.R. finally took me out of the C-Collar because I had no centerline pain and eventually sent me home with some Rx painkillers for my shoulder. I had already taken off Tuesday and Wednesday to finish a home improvement project (which didn't get done for obvious reasons) so I used those days to convalesce and my wife drove me to work on Thursday.

I had training Thursday morning so I clocked in, did a quick email check, and headed to the training room. I got signed in to the computer in the training room, looked over my email a bit more, and got signed into the class. As I sat there, the lower-left part of my back started tightening up. I shifted around and made a comment to myself about how terrible these chairs were.

As the instructor started the class and was having everyone introduce themselves since we were all from different areas, my back went from tight to sore to uncomfortable to downright hurting. I was fidgeting in my chair quite a bit and could find no relief. I figured I needed to stand up and possible walk for a bit.  I excused myself but standing did not abate the pain. A passerby saw me exit the training room and lean against a counter and asked if I was alright... I said no.

The occupational health nurse was called, a wheelchair was brought, and I was taken to the nurse's office where I answered questions for an incident form she was filling out and awaited my wife whom I had called to come get me. As I sat there, the pain went from an 8 (out of 10) to a 6 and I thought things were clearing up... oh, they were just getting started.

The wife arrived and I got into the car. We were discussing whether to go home (65 miles away) and see the family doctor or go back to the E.R. 5 miles away. Since the pain had started to increase slightly, I suggested the E.R. might be the better course of action.  Before we got out of the parking lot and onto the highway about a 1/4 mile down the road my pain threshold had gone back to an 8. By the time we got to the end of the on ramp, it was up to a 9. In very short order, it hit 10. I had a stabbing pain in the lower-left quadrant of my back and I could actually feel the muscle tightening in short, forceful spasms that cranked it up to 11.

Once the car stopped my agony abated a bit. I got wheeled into a triage room where I told 3 or 4 people my name, DOB, and where it hurt. My vitals were taken and I was wheeled to a treatment/exam room. I was back down to a 7 by this time.

The short version of the rest of this story is that my pain level moved between 6 and 10 for the next 30 minutes or so while I was examined and questioned again about my name, DOB and injury. I was writhing so much my wife was afraid I was going to fall off the gurney. I eventually received a shot of Adivan and another of Morphine and Benadryl.  They were both given IM so it took another 20 minutes for them to take effect enough that I could get into a wheelchair and back to the car.

Since then I've been dealing with pain and tightness in various areas of my back as well as having my right arm randomly go numb along the inside all the way down to my index finger.

As if that wasn't enough, the mother of a close friend went into the hospital early this week. She had been experiencing some episodes of confusion and having her legs collapse out from under her which the doctors speculated might be small strokes. Sunday or Monday, she became disoriented and was not recognizing her children. They took her to the hospital and it was suspected that she'd had a brain bleed.

They performed surgery the next day and induced a coma for a couple of days after to keep her from moving about or even coughing or sneezing and mucking things up. We received a report that she had opened her eyes and glared at one of her children on Friday but that has apparently been the only sign of recovery.

We just heard that she experienced some sort of cardiac event over the weekend and the doctors are not confident she'll wake up on her own. They have her on a ventilator/respirator but can only leave it in for another couple of days before it does damage to her throat. The next step would be to perform a tracheotomy for the respirator and insert a feeding tube. They have advised the family that doing so would likely only serve to bring her unnecessary discomfort.

The family is going to speak with the doctors tomorrow and make some tough decisions.

Like I said. It's been one hell of a week.

Clueless

When you get in on a new site early enough, you get to pick your favorite user ID. When I signed up for gmail I managed to get everyone's favorite first initial and last name. Score!

This triumph has not come without its difficulties. I get misdirected email all the time. Often, it is for my father who has the same address but appended information onto the end of it. These I simply forward to him. But I also get emails for Jerrys, Janes, Joannes, Joes, etc. The ones that make me laugh, however, are the ones where people don't know their own email address. I have received numerous requests for email confirmations and even a couple of emails with bank account login information.

Usually when I get one of these emails the exchange is very simple. I somehow let them know they have an incorrect address, I get an oops message and we both go on with with our lives. Yesterday was an exception and I couldn't resist having a little bit of fun.

Original message -

Subject: Are you ignorming[sic] me???

You can't ignore me because you don't like what I have to say!!! If you are going to play that game we are going to have HUGE issues.

I think I have sucked up a lot of the years. I'm not needy, nor am I dependent. I dont' ask for daily phone calls or text messages. I do expect more than a one line email.

I am feeling very alienated and I am very upset about it.

My reply: Do I know you? [I couldn't resist sending a 1-line email]

Message 2 -

Yes!!! You know me. Don't be a wise guy.

I need to talk to you. I have to coordinate furniture. [name withheld] wants me to schedule a mover to pick up the bedroom set. I need to have my stuff put in storage. Do you have room in your unit, or do I need to get another one? I'm also trying to coordinate new carpeting in my place.

At this point I would like you to notice that there are no signatures on these emails so I have no idea what this person's name is. Next, her being so clueless, I decide to have a little bit of fun. My thought is to go so far out that it will be obvious that something is amiss.

Okay. Busted. How could I ever forget that wild night in Cabo? I never knew one person could take that much pain and enjoy it so much.

The response I received was, to say, unexpected.

Hahahahahah, you are sooo funny.

While you are out galavanting around South America I'm trying to coordinate real life. Can you please let me know about the storage bin? I will get another one if necessary.

Really? I say something like that and you think I'm serious? Okay. You're so clueless I have to give you another chance to get yourself off the hook.

Response: "Seriously. Who is this?"

My correspondent started a new message with the subject of "Storage."

I needed to start a new email. Can you please tell me about the storage bin?

Oh, wow. You're still missing it? Game on.

I have some room since I've been clearing it out now and then but I'll have to check with my wife to see if you can use it. Plus she has the code - I can never remember it since I don't go there very often. You know the unit is in Moore, right?

Everything in that message is absolutely true. I'm figuring there was a recent breakup or separation so throwing in the wife and a city she probably doesn't recognize will be a big red flag. Nope. It did look promising, though.

What?

Okay, let's throw the clues at her again.

What didn't you understand? My wife has the gate code and I need to make sure it's okay with her for you to store your stuff there. There isn't a lot of room but there is some.

Still not getting it.

You know what stop mentioning ur wife!!! I am abundantly clear that you are still married. The way you torture me and treat me is simply unforgiveable!!!

I shdve known not to be happy with you and think there was a future. I am insane. I continue to do the same thing and I expect a different result from you!

Why would I think ur wife has a key or a code to anything in ur life???

How do you sleep at night???

Now I've done it. Somebody's been a naughty boy.

It's time to come clean.

Okay. Seriously. I am not the person you think I am. I don't mean that metaphorically, I mean that literally. Whatever [name withheld] you know I am not him. I'm 43 years old, live in Oklahoma, have been married for 20 years and can't think of any woman I know with a name that starts with an N.

I apologize for playing games but when I asked if I knew you and you responded the way you did I thought it humorous that you never considered that you had an incorrect email address. Then when I went completely off the reservation with the Cabo comment and you thought I was serious... well... it was just too much to resist. I hope things work out between you and your Joe however it is best for you.

And... she still doesn't get it.

Please stop! I have enough stress w my Dad amd work. I don't have the energy for the games. I really don't.

I think that you know I have an incredible sense of humor, but now I'm stressed out! I don't know how much more info you need about menpause[sic]. Google it! I'm NOT making it up

OMG. She's either blonde or dyes her hair to keep it from being that color. Time to smack her over the head with a big, foam clue bat.

No. No more games. I sincerely have no idea who you are. To the best of my knowledge we have never met. The only Nik I know is my nephew and he spells his name Nikolas. I live in central Oklahoma.

Here, check this out: (link to the about me page on my web site)

FINALLY! She gets it.

I will delete this address from my contacts. I'm glad you got some laughs.

Wow. That's all I can say. But there's more. Between the subject change there was an email I totally missed. Subject: Drunk

Are you trying to be funny, or are you drunk? I certainly would hate to think that you could be that cold and insensitive.

I'm reaching out and you are being an arrogant jack ass. You don't deserve me.

Man, I hope she eventually gets her head straight.

The Force Is Strong With This One

how jedi are you? :: by lawrie malen

The Rumors Of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

My blog has earned its name once again. Only this time, it was my iPhone that ate my homework. I am using DragonDictate to write a blog post. I switched apps to look at some notes that I had taken previously about some additional limitations that the iPhone has that are annoying to me. When I switched back, DragonDictate started all over again, losing my work. 

What I find interesting is that, when writing a blog post, my thoughts seem to flow easier from my brain to my fingers then from my brain to my mouth. 

What I had been saying in my original post was that I have been a little scarce here on my blog and on Facebook, mostly because I'm just tired. 

Work is still problematic. I am looking for another job. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

I'm still loving the iPhone... A lot. I find myself cruising the app store every day looking for free apps that are just cool or might be useful in a bizarre set of circumstances. I now have a relatively large collection of apps, some of which I have never even launched.

There are a few more items I would like to add to my list of updates I would like to see. These include copying draft e-mail messages back into my Outlook account. I find this very annoying because if I am composing a message on my iPhone and am interrupted for some reason the only option that I have it is to continue the message on my iPhone. I can't, without e-mailing it to myself, finish composing a message at my workstation. 

Sticking with the e-mail theme, I would like the ability to copy a contact from the Exchange global address list into my local contacts. I find this very helpful on my workstation and would like to see it on my mobile device.

The last item is simply a matter of convenience. Why is it that there is no snooze function for appointment alarms? Every other device I own that has an alarm has a snooze function. Why not the most powerful small device I own?

I guess that's about it for now. I just wanted to check in to let y'all know I'm still above ground and breathing. 

Until next time. 

0 for 3

I received some cash for my birthday earlier in the month and had been eying some flash-based camcorders that record to an SD memory card. I'm not sure if I really want to invest the money because I'm not sure I will get that much use out of it. I have a compact 8mm camcorder that actually works pretty well that mostly collects dust.

As I was examining different models in my price range, I remembered that I have wanted a graphics tablet for digital photo work for quite a while but they've always been out of my price range. Since digital photography has become so popular Wacom, the company that is pretty much the top dog in pen-based input devices, has finally introduced a consumer product line - Bamboo. The most recent models are under $100. Our local office supply store had a couple in stock so I got one.

With most of my birthday money invested in the tool I know I will use, the idea of a "real" camcorder kinda fizzled. But I was still jonesing for something so when I saw that Big Lots had one by Jazz for $50, I thought I would give it a try.

I went to our local store several times over the next 3 weeks and they were never in stock. If I was in Tulsa or OKC, I would stop by one of those stores and got the same result. I thought I was resigned to never being able to get one when I saw one by Vivitar at BigW for $50. Eh, worth a shot.

The image quality was about what I expected. It had decent controls and a few options here and there. I wasn't looking for much for $50. What I found out was that when I zoomed in (digital zoom) the audio sounded like I was fast-forwarding a CD. Totally unacceptable so I exchanged it for another.

The second Vivitar would wig out as I was zooming but stabilized once it stopped. I can live with it. I wasn't looking for perfection for $50. But when I had nephew #1 record nephew #3's graduation and saw that parts of it had the scrambly audio, I returned the second one for a refund and put my remaining birthday money back into the drawer.

I get ad previews for Big Lots and saw that on Sunday and Monday, they were selling a Jazz camcorder (not exactly the same as the one previously advertised) for $25. I was in. I showed up on Sunday when they unlocked the doors, they had 6 in stock, I was the first to request the case be opened, and they were cleaned out before we walked out the door.

I have been playing with this thing for two days. The quality is similar to that of a cell phone camera (from 15 years ago). But I don't care. I don't expect much of anything for $25. It records audio and video fairly reliably. I'm happy. Until today.

I was goofing around with it most of the day. I didn't drop it. I didn't bang it around. I just picked it up, turned it on and hit the record button. I recorded three videos about me cleaning up the house (I know, really lame [REALLY lame!] but I wanted to play with my toy). When I picked it up to record the 4th segment it wouldn't come on. The tally light next to the power button came on but that's all she'd give.

I thought maybe the batteries were low (I hadn't used it THAT much but you never know) so I recharged them. I got the green light on the charger, reinstalled the batteries and pushed the power button. I was enthusiastic when I heard the startup chime and the startup screen came on the LCD but that's where it stopped.

I'll test it with some alkalines (some stuff is picky about rechargeables) but I'm pretty sure it's going back for a refund. If so, I'll just hang on to my money and get something when I've saved up enough to do so. :(

Downtime

I'm still here. I'm having one of those periods where I have plenty to say but just don't have enough of the whateveritis that makes me do this in the first place to actually post anything. Readjusting some priorities, I guess. I'll be back in full swing one of these days.

Now the drive-by update:

• The work situation is MUCH improved
• My HTC Fuze is getting flakier by the day
• I'm sure a full reset would help but I'm waiting for the launch of the iPhone 4
• Scored a quesadilla grill @ a garage sale for $8 abt a month ago
  
• Can't stop using it
• Came home for lunch one day to find a small tarantula hanging out by the door
• Shooed him away with a stick
• Next day it was a 4' water snake laying in front of the door
• The wife & I were coming home from dinner
• She F R E A K E D
• I'm not telling her about the tarantula
• Been looking for a flash memory camcorder
• Settled on a cheap toy-type at Big Lots but haven't been able to catch it in stock
• It went on sale this morning for $25 and I got one
• It's about as good as an old flip phone cell camera
• What do you want for $25? I'm pleased enough with it for what I want it for
• Working on reworking my celebrity photo site
• The site itself has been setup for several months now
• Finally getting back to sorting, editing and watermaking the pictures - stay tuned

I'm thinking too hard to come up with more so I'll end it there. Have a great holiday weekend and thank a serviceman. Thank you Steve, David, Scott, Beth, and especially mom's cousin Eddie.

Checking In

Some days are better, some days are a challenge. Still hanging in there. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. One breath at a time.

It's Always Something Stupid

I have never broken a bone in my life (knock wood). I've never really significantly strained anything but I have known people who have. If you see someone in a cast and ask them what happened, you will get one of three answers. 1) It's some sort of post-surgical immobilization. 2) It's a sports-related injury. 3) It's really stupid. You will sometimes hear a combination of 2 and 3 but what you will almost never ever hear is something heroic.

The story usually goes something like this: "I fell off a 3-inch step and fractured my ankle." or "I thought it would be a good idea to take a flying kick at a trashcan... that happened to be bolted down."

So, the dog and I play this little game. (now, don't get ahead of me) He's a total wuss. I can act like I'm chasing him and he'll run into the bedroom and squeeze himself under the bed. He 'bounces' while he does it so he's not really afraid of me.

Anyway, I was playing this game with him last night and was chasing him into the bedroom. I turned the corner to go into the bedroom and I must have kicked my left leg out for balance or something. My two smaller toes connected with the door jam of the laundry room... hard.

It didn't hurt a whole lot at first but that changed quickly. I spent most of the day hobbling around and, just to make the wife stop saying, "are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor?" I went to the doctor and confirmed that my toe is not broken. It's bruised pretty damn well but it's not broken. The only positive thing is I got some 750mg Aleve pills out of it.

Found In My Written Journal

May 8, 2006

To stand at the mirror - a face, examining, unrecognized.
Is it your own?
Is it better or worse?
Good or evil?
Is it a dream or are you just awakening?
Awaken to the positive. Come into the light.
Bask in your own unknowing. Realize your potential.
Be who you are meant to be - a cliche' drowning in a sea of reality. A mind rambling to infinity.

Back To The Old Grind

I've been off work since Christmas Eve (one of the perks of working for an educational institution) and go back tomorrow morning. It's been a weird break this year. The weather has caused delays and missed opportunities. I spent a good chunk of time just plain bummed out.

On Friday I decided that one of the reasons I was down was that I hadn't accomplished anything so I went forth with plans to rearrange my office. Several months ago I was offered a computer server rack at no charge. The company was updating their server room and had several surplus racks. A friend of a friend of a friend started passing the word around and the offer landed in my ear.

The rack has been sitting in the garage since the day I picked it up. I spent some time and went through several possible configurations before landing on one that would work best. I taped the plan to the hutch on my desk and it stayed there... mocking me.

On Friday I started boxing up some of the items I had on bookshelves, etc and moved out a couple of pieces of furniture. On Saturday I moved out the rest of the furniture I needed to move, took down the computer, partially disassembled the desk, and moved in the rack. I spent some quality time with the rack, made some adjustments and installed a couple pieces of equipment.

Today, I reassembled the desk in the new spot and moved one of my shelving units out of the hallway. It had been sitting there all night and I didn't want to push my luck.

I still have a few boxes of stuff, my 19" CRT monitors, one of my printers and a couple smaller pieces of furniture in the guest bedroom but the heavy lifting is done. I still don't have the computer reconnected (I'm on the laptop). I want to get the cables under a little better control than they were previously so it will probably get hooked back up sometime this week as the rest of the office comes back together.

Because the hutch portion of the desk (it's a HUGE desk) is no longer against a wall, it blocks some of the light (it doesn't block the work area) and makes the room look a lot smaller. I can reconfigure the desk but that requires a major disassembly... I'll reserve that for another long weekend. Until then, I'll be enjoying my geek rack.

POPPIES Poppies poppies poppies

I've been having a lot of weird, existential thoughts lately. Did I use that right? Let's see... Existential - adj - pertaining to existence. Yeah, I think that's right.

Anyway, a few of the media outlets I read, listen to and watch have been talking about the end of the decade. It has hit me a little funny. It's been 20 years since the decade has been the big thing. I mean, at the end of the 90's we were all talking about the end of the century.

I've seen top lists of music, movies, and all manner of things. I've heard about things we're thankful about in the past decade and things we wish never happened (i.e. fashion disasters and fluff like that). I've given some transient thought to those sorts of things but nothing too profound.

I have been thinking a little more deeply about life - my life, specifically. (see, this is where the existential part comes in) I remember trying so hard to grow up and get to 21 when I was a full citizen and the state and government held no restrictions over me that they didn't hold over everybody else. 21 years later, I wonder what happened to the time between then and now. The first 21 years seemed to go so slow, the second 21 seemed to go so fast. Maybe that's because when you're less than a decade old (see how I tied that in?), a year seems so much longer because your entire existence only consists of ten of them.

I don't have a lot of regrets. I have had times when the rug has been pulled out from under me and times of great success. I wonder where I'm going from here and if I'm competent to make the journey. I fear the unknown but look forward to enjoying the next howerevermany decades I'll be sticking around.

I told you they were weird. So, what about those best of lists? Here's one for you.

Bubby's Top Ten Innovative (or just plain cool) Things From The Last Decade:

1. MP3 Players
2. DVRs (OK, they were introduced in the late 90's but they really took off in the last 5 years)
   
3. Abilify
4. Two words: Blu Ray
5. Affordable flat-screen TVs
6. Magnetic, clip-on sunglasses for prescription glasses (no more dork shades!)
7. S.A.M.E. weather alert radios (no more alerts for cities 150 miles away)
   
8. Social networking (I have [re]connected with so many people via Facebook)
9. Camera phones / smart phones
10. GPS
11. Text messaging
12. Wikipedia
13. Hybrid cars
    
14. Nintendo Wii

Okay, so there's 14 of them.

(33 1/3 bonus points if you know how the title relates to the post)

Mick Jagger Had It Right

I have been having problems with muscle spasms in my neck for several months now. Mostly I can deal with it being a little stiff but sometimes I have to go see the doctor to get some chemical assistance in loosening it up. One of those times was about 3 or 4 weeks ago when I spent an entire Saturday sorting through pictures on my computer.

I went out and bought a new pillow. It helps. Some.

I noticed that, as I sat at my computer, I would hunch over and tilt my head way back so I adjusted my desk chair at home, lowering it a bit and locking the tilt into a comfortable but mostly upright angle. It helps. Some.

I was reviewing my email this morning and noticed myself still hunching over and then it hit me. I was leaning in to see the teeny tiny text on my 19" CRT monitor set at 1600 x 1200 resolution then tilting my head back to view the screen through the correct part of my bifocals.

CRAP!

I lowered the resolution at home and increased the text size at work. I think that's going to help most of all. What a drag it is getting old.

Tea For Two

I really enjoy hot tea. It is a flavorful, hot drink that is not weighed down like hot chocolate or a latte. Tea also tastes wonderful when you're sick with sinus pressure and a cough, like I have been for the past two days.

My favorite experience with tea has to be when we were on a cruise. I don't recall if it was our first cruise, a 4-day cruise to the Bahamas, or our second cruise, a seven day to the Caymans, Jamaica and Mexico. Anyway, they were having a "high tea" or a "captains tea" and I decided to take some time to check it out.

I believe the event was held in the library or someplace similar. I recall there being a lot of wood in the room. There weren't a lot of people, maybe 20 or 30, so it was a rather cozy gathering. I'm pretty sure it was designed to be a get-to-know-you event.

I took a seat, not knowing what to expect, and waited for things to start. The part I really remember and the part that, to me, made it special was the presentation of the teas. A steward of some sort came by with a large, flat, wooden box. The lid was hinged and as he came near the table, he stopped and opened the lid. Inside the box was just about every kind of tea Bigelow makes and it was like he was presenting it just to me. I felt "wealthy" for a moment as if the butler were presenting me with a choice of any of the many teas in my stores.

I selected a tea, I believe it was Earl Grey, and the steward moved on. When I had finished, I rejoined my wife having taken a moment for myself to relax and enjoy a hot cup of tea with some "friends."

Song 6,000

I noticed earlier today that my Zune card (that graphic under "What Am I Listening To") showed that, between my Zune 4gig and my new Zune HD I had played 5,999 songs. I didn't bring the HD to work with me this morning so I picked it up at lunch. I decided that I wanted to commemorate the milestone (why? because) so I was going to pay special attention to what song played first when I started it up.

I got into the car and hooked the HD into the car kit and started the car. I tuned the radio to the appropriate frequency and decided to bring up my "Rock & Roll Stuff" playlist. I always have it set on random so I hit the play icon at the top to randomly choose the first track.

The Song: Lido Shuffle by Boz Scaggs... cool.