The Barrier

A friend of mine who has definite physical limitations told me something this weekend. She used to say she had no regrets but she revealed to me that she had recently started feeling that she regretted not trying out for the pom pom squad in high school.

In the moment, she had watched the routines and the physical requirements and had decided that she just wouldn't be able to do it. She imposed an automatic limit upon herself without ever trying. She might not have made the team but just trying would have pushed her beyond the boundaries that she thought she had. And maybe, just maybe, the team would have worked to include her despite her limitations.

This brought home a thought process I've been going through. I was actually talking, out loud, to someone about this and said something about understanding my limits and staying within them. As I said it I knew it was an excuse. I knew it was bullshit. I knew the limits were of my own making. I knew it was a barrier built by fear.

As I think about what I said I know I'm holding myself back. I see the fence in the distance and feel I can't climb it and turn away. The truth I know is that the fence is not that high and there are gates. There may be a gatekeeper of some sort but the gates are all along the fence.

The funny thing is I also know that beyond the fence... is another fence.

My last post may have sounded discouraged but I'm not. I think about finding my greatness every day. I examine the barriers, I examine the paths, and I examine the possibilities.

Find You Own Greatness

All the elements in your body were forged many many millions of years ago in the heart of a faraway star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings. Until, eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. - Doctor Who, The Rings of Akhaten

There are times in life when you see people surpass you who started at the same point you did or maybe a little behind. There are also times when you see someone being successful at the life you thought you would have. It is difficult not to compare yourself to them. It is difficult not to say, "That could be me." We all know that we are unique with our own blend of talents and shortcomings. We all know that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others. But how do we embrace that uniqueness?

I was listening to my iPhone shuffle through all of the music uploaded to it when Ready to Hang by Wayman Tisdale came on. I probably met Wayman at some point since we went to the same high school but I couldn't tell you if he would have recognized me or not. He and my older sister were in the same class and knew each other well enough that Wayman once recognized my brother, who is one year younger than my sister, when Wayman walked past my him on an airplane. He stopped and asked my brother something like, "Aren't you Mary's brother?"

I was thinking about that story, that my brother likes to tell, and it got me to thinking about Wayman's life. He was a basketball star in high school, college and in the NBA. He even went to the Olympics. Wayman went on to have a music career and released eight albums. At one point I learned that he had taught himself how to play the bass... and he was pretty good at it. In 2007 he was diagnosed with cancer and had part of his leg amputated in 2008. He died in May of 2009.

I was reflecting on all of this: All of the amazing things he had done in his life despite it being cut short. Of course I'm no Wayman Tisdale. My star does not shine nearly as bright and it likely never will. What I want, however, is to be remembered as having done something with my life.

That's when it hit me: We can't all be the bright star in the sky but we can all shine in our own way. The trick is to find your own greatness. It doesn't matter that someone does something faster or better than you.

I was trying to finish that thought by saying, "What does matter..." but I'm not sure exactly what that is yet. I think that's part of what I'm looking for. This is just the first, tiny step and I hope I don't get distracted from this path. I need to find my greatness. I might already have it or it may be completely unrealized and yet to come. I have a friend that calls it Grabbing the Starfish. She explains it as "Knowing and working towards that one thing that you are supposed to be doing with your life." It sounded like a thousand other existential platitudes but I think I get it now.

Stay tuned. I'll probably bring you along for the ride.

Simply Communicating

One of the links you'll notice on my blogroll is Baskin Dim Bulb. This is a marketing blog written by Jonathan Salem Baskin. I don't know him from Adam and I don't recall what first brought me to his blog but I was impressed enough to immediately add him as a site I wanted to keep track of.

Many of his posts are very heavily business related and I don't read them because they have little to no application in the realm of state-funded education. Once in a while, however, he points out some boneheaded marketing approach or lauds a very good one. He also has some really insightful observations about communication.

Today's offering is called "Text is the New Multimedia." It speaks to the ineffectiveness of video or other "cool" multimedia experiences and how many businesses fall short when utilizing simple text (as in a press release excessively heavy with meaningless adjectives). What caught my eye was this:

As opposed to video, text is a "hot medium," if you buy into Marshall McLuhan's theories about media (and I do, for the most part). Even when viewed online, words engage a single sense, and thereby establish a direct connection that is richer in specific information and meaning than more participatory, or "cool" multimedia experiences.

When we're blown away by a video, we translate it into words to label our reactions, code our memories, and subsequently share our thoughts. Even reduced to tweets and abbreviations, text remains the most facile communications engine available to us, only you wouldn't know it from all of the media excitement and agency sales efforts to tell us otherwise.

Maybe that's why blogs and things like Facebook and Twitter are so popular.

The Missing Christmas Post

I've been catching up on blogs a bit this evening and have seen a few bloggers recounting the activities they participated in and the gifts they gave and received. you'll notice there isn't one of those posts on my blog.

It's actually been kind-of quiet around the homestead this year. With everything it has taken to get to this point (okay, that was my last whine, I promise) it was nice just to stick close to home and take a little break. People at work have been asking me if I had a good holiday and I tell them yes (and I truly mean it) but I don't really have any stories to swap with them.

On Christmas Eve, the wife and I went down to Oklahoma City to meet with her family and some friends for our third annual Christmas Eve Dinner at the Olive Garden. When the wife's father died in February 2005, we knew Christmas was going to be a tough time for everyone involved. You see, her father was born on December 24 (and coincidentally died on February 13) and, if we weren't visiting my folks, we always spent Christmas Eve celebrating his birthday. In 2005, her mother decided that, rather than sitting quietly at home mourning his absence, we should all go out on Christmas Eve and have a really nice meal at a really nice restaurant. We just happened to pick The Olive Garden. We had such a good time that we did it again last year - same restaurant, same location. By this year, it had become a tradition, just like her father's birthday.

Money is sparse this year so we haven't been able to divert much toward gifts (although, we have made a token gesture for the younglings). The adults agreed not to exchange gifts so this now traditional gathering was a gift to me. It was my opportunity to see my mother in law, my nieces and nephew, and some other family friends in a relaxed, festive atmosphere. The kids were well behaved, the conversation was enjoyable, the food was - as always - marvelous (I had the eggplant Parmesan), and it was one of the best Christmas celebrations I've taken part in in several years.

I will be going up to visit my folks this coming weekend (if the weather holds out). I wish I could have made the 19th person at the family gathering at my niece's house this year but the coming weekend promises to be fun as well without quite so much... closeness.

My motto for this Christmas has been, "Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed." It hasn't failed me so far.

Journey Of Faith

A couple of days ago, I posed the question, "What the hell am I doing in Boise, Idaho?" At the beginning of that journey... this journey, really, I prayed to God for clarity and my direction was made clear. But now I wait.

I would hazard a guess that I have prayed to God more in the past month than I have in the past ten years. I ask for his guidance, I ask for his assistance, I ask for his peace. I wait for the answers and I search for clarity. I have become discouraged because I feel Him saying, "Patience. When the time is right, it shall be." I pray for patience but it is lost so easily.

This morning, I decided I needed to go to church. It seems superstitious but the last time I went, I received a call for an interview the following Wednesday. It was for this, and another reason, that I went.

You see, I believe in God. I believe that Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and only through Him can we be saved - I have accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. What I have trouble with is organized religion. Each and every religion believes they are right, the others are wrong, and "if you don't believe as we do, you will burn in hell."

Without going into a lot of detail, suffice it to say that I have been struggling with this lately and it has been included in my prayers. For me, the answer came as, "I know what is truly in your heart. The place you choose to worship does not matter, only that you set aside time for Me." So I went to church this morning, and I received a message.

The second reading this morning was Hebrews 11:1-19, part of which (versus 8-9) says, "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country..." When the Homily came around, the priest talked about these journeys of faith, perhaps, being smaller in scope but just as important. For me, it had literal meaning.

Not being familiar with the reference to Abraham's journey, I did something tonight I have never done before in my life. I got out my bible and went on a search for meaning. I eventually turned to the internet to speed up my search and found Genesis 12.

The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you."... So Abram left, as the LORD had told him...He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated..., and they set out for the land of Canaan....

And so it is for me. Through signs of clarity, the Lord said to me, "Leave your state, your people, and your home and go to the land I will show you." Just as Abraham, I left all that I knew for a land I had never seen and I did it all on faith.

Though I may become discouraged from time to time, I now understand that I must allow God to work His plan in His time and as long as I remain faithful, I shall receive the reward He has for me.

I'd Like My Crayons Back, Please (Whacked Up Side The Head With A Good Idea)

I was perusing other blogs again and came upon an interesting "cartoon" that was simply a bunch of squigglies and the words, "You're either a poet, or you're dead." The post linked to an article over at gapingvoid entitled How To Be Creative. It caught my eye because of the following list:

So you want to be more creative, in art, in business, whatever. Here are some tips that have worked for me over the years:

1. Ignore everybody.
2. The idea doesn't have to be big. It just has to change the world.
3. Put the hours in.
4. If your biz plan depends on you suddenly being "discovered" by some big shot, your plan will probably fail.
5. You are responsible for your own experience.
6. Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten.
7. Keep your day job.
8. Companies that squelch creativity can no longer compete with companies that champion creativity.
9. Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb.
10. The more talented somebody is, the less they need the props.
11. Don't try to stand out from the crowd; avoid crowds altogether.
12. If you accept the pain, it cannot hurt you.
13. Never compare your inside with somebody else's outside.
14. Dying young is overrated.
15. The most important thing a creative person can learn professionally is where to draw the red line that separates what you are willing to do, and what you are not.
16. The world is changing.
17. Merit can be bought. Passion can't.
18. Avoid the Watercooler Gang.
19. Sing in your own voice.
20. The choice of media is irrelevant.
21. Selling out is harder than it looks.
22. Nobody cares. Do it for yourself.
23. Worrying about "Commercial vs. Artistic" is a complete waste of time.
24. Don't worry about finding inspiration. It comes eventually.
25. You have to find your own schtick.
26. Write from the heart.
27. The best way to get approval is not to need it.
28. Power is never given. Power is taken.
29. Whatever choice you make, The Devil gets his due eventually.
30. The hardest part of being creative is getting used to it.
31. Remain frugal.

The article then goes on to explain each of those points. I encourage each of you to go read it. It is the most useful thing I have read in a long time and it's an easy read. It has inspired me to once again and seriously pick up a project I have been tinkering with for the past six or seven years. I will make a serious attempt to get above the snow line. (If you go read it, you'll understand that - and the title)

How Do You Take An Attitude Shower?

I was checking out the blog of another Joe Fusco when I came across a link to an article entitled Happiness is a Moral Obligation by Dennis Prager. Prager has some wonderful points about happiness and the effects unhappiness has on people. The part that Fusco quoted and that drew me to the article was as follows:

"We should regard bad moods as we do offensive body odor. Just as we shower each day so as not to inflict our body odors on others, so we should monitor our bad moods so as not to inflict them on others. We shower partly for ourselves and partly out of obligation to others. The same should hold true vis a vis moods; and just as we avoid those who do not do something about their body odor we should avoid whenever possible those who do nothing about their bad moods."

Interresting. I will endeavor to do this but the question becomes, how to take an attitude shower? How do we wash away our bad mood? I'm going to work on this. I will find an answer - At least, one that works for me - and I will let you know. If you have an answer that works for you, please leave a comment.

I Felt This Worth Sharing

Those of you who are in my email address list know I don't often forward anything that says "forward this" at the bottom.  More often than not, you'll usually receive a reply from me debunking whatever urgency the message contains.  But every once in a while, I'll pass something on.  Sometimes it goes to a chosen few whom I believe have an interest in whatever is contained in the message.  Sometimes, it goes out to a group who I think will "get the joke."  Sometimes, like the cell phone ICE (In Case of Emergency) message, it goes out to everyone I know because I think it's a damn good idea.

Something came into my inbox recently that I want to share with as large an audience as I can.  I can't tell you if it was actually written or recited by the person to whom it is attributed because, frankly, I haven't checked.  It doesn't matter to me who wrote it or if it ever found an audible voice.  It doesn't matter to me if it is cobbled of pieces of several similar messages.  It's just a damn good message.

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If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in
such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

Here with a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.

If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel
threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche,
it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.
She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" (She said the same thing when interviewed after 9-11)

In light of recent events...terrorists attacks, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what
the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is
in.

My Best Regards .. honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein