Thursday, August 09, 2007

Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock...

It all happened... It all started so fast. Everything seemed to be crumbling around me. The stress was causing multiple health issues - depression, anxiety, indigestion, chest pains, hypertension, insomnia. Then, like toppling dominoes, it all started to move so fast.

I suddenly, without adequate explanation, and through no fault of my own no longer had a job - a situation I have never experienced since I was sixteen years old. Just as suddenly, my wife, who had not been working in over a year, had a job... 1400 miles away.

With nothing to hold us back, we packed what we could. We sold, gave away or simply disposed of a lot of "dead weight." We allowed people who were unknown to us cram what we had ready into a large truck and watched it drive away, hoping we would see it all again at the other end. We shoved what was left into storage (by the grace of others), thus splitting our belongings in half. We rented a mailbox in order to have a local address. We arranged for a place to live - sight unseen. We hit the road to go live in a place only one of us had barely seen in the course of two days, far away from family, friends and everything familiar to us.

Then it all seemed to stop. I've been here for four months now. The news keeps telling me that the unemployment rate here is among the lowest in the nation (something like 2.3%!)... but I still haven't found a job. I work in an industry that should be able to find work anywhere... but I still haven't found a job. I am surrounded by technology companies, large and small, known to almost everyone and known only to locals... but I still haven't found a job. I have to pay rent, mortgage, utilities, grocery bills, insurance, car payments, and a host of way overdue unsecured debt... but I still haven't found a job.

Unemployment helps... like a dixie-cup full of water to a dehydrated man. The part-time job helps... but my earnings affect my unemployment.

I want to work. I want to settle in here. I want to meet people and be able to do things without having to choose between lunch and entertainment. But I seem to be stuck between those jobs I could do with my eyes closed that would bore me to death and those that terrify me because I'm not sure I would really know what I was doing... and there is no in-between.

Everything started so fast. I prayed for clarity and I don't know how much clearer it could have been. It was like a big, neon sign (or burning bush, perhaps) saying, "Go to Boise." So? Here I am. I apply for openings, I communicate with people when I make contacts (which is rare), I try for jobs in every range of my field... but I still haven't found a job.

What the hell am I doing in Boise, Idaho?

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