Test Anxiety

In order to get a loan for school, I either have to go to a bank that offers educational loans or I have to get classified as a degree-seeking student. To be classified as a degree-seeking student, I have to be accepted into the program. To be accepted into the program, I have to take either the GRE or the GMAT and receive a sufficient score.

Since I can take up to 9 hours of coursework that will count toward my program prior to being accepted into the program, the plan was to start taking classes, study for the GMAT, take the GMAT in January (and again later if necessary) and be accepted into the program. That's changed. It's going to cost me - even with tuition waivers - around $750 for tuition and fees to take the two classes I'm currently enrolled in. I don't really want to get an "Alternative Loan" so I'm going to try to take one of the tests before school starts.

I had downloaded some free practice software for the GMAT and had been going through some of the practice questions. Yesterday, I decided to actually take one of the practice tests. I knew it was going to be a disaster when the instructions said I was not allowed to use a calculator.

I quickly remembered how to multiply large numbers.
I had to ask if the product of two numbers means you multiply them
I strugled to remember how to add fractions
An integer is a whole number, right?
I couldn't for the life of me remember how to do long division
How DO you manually calculate the square root of 136,000?

Math stresses me out - I mean really stresses me out. Akin to an anxiety attack stresses me out. I don't know why. I looked up long division on the internet and found one site that explained the process but had "remainders" instead of decimals. I went to one of the other sites and it included an explanation of what LD was and several things it could be used for. So many numbers and equations popped up on the screen that I flinched and exited the page as quickly as a 14-year old looking at porn when he hears his mom coming.

I don't appear to have any problem with the verbal sections. I can think and write and reason just fine. I just don't handle numbers well.

I did manage to download some software for the GRE that includes a "math review" section. That section is a PDF file that starts with "integers" and builds from there. I have since printed it out and will be studying it over the weekend. I will probably attempt another practice test and see how I do. If I do well, I'll go ahead and schedule the test while all of this is sitll fresh in my mind.