Showing posts with label From the Inbox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label From the Inbox. Show all posts

Friday, January 27, 2012

Some People Are Just Clueless

I got this in my email yesterday:
When: Monday, January 30, 2012 1:00 PM-1:30 PM (GMT-08:00) Pacific Time (US & Canada). 
Where: Daniel's office
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Please call Daniel’s office – 818-xxx-xxxx
I responded to all with:
I think this went to the wrong person
What I got back, from one of the cc recipients:
This has to do with the LatAm ######## ##### commercial plan…I want you on the call. 
I'm not sure whether to play it straight and prove my incorrect identity, be a smart ass and prove my incorrect identity, or give 'em a call on the 30th and be a smart ass to prove my incorrect identity. I think that last one would go something like this.

Daniel: Hello, Dan's office
Me: Hi Dan. Are we ready to get this thing started? Are xxx and yyy there?
D: Who is this?
Me: It's Joe (sounding surprised that he doesn't recognize my voice)
D: Joe who?
Me: Joe Fusco (getting mildly irritated that he doesn't know me)
D: You don't sound like Joe Fusco
Me: I can fax you my ID if you'd like (being moderately irritated)
D: Who is this really? How did you get this number?
Me: I got an invitation from yyy.
D: Wait. Are you the Joe Fusco that told us we sent you the invite in error?
Me: Yes. Yes I am.
D: Then why are you calling if you knew that invite wasn't for you? (becoming moderately irritated)
Me: xxx insisted that he wonted me on the call. So... here I am.
[click]
...
Me: Hello?
...
Me: Hello?
...
Me (to myself): Oh, I'd just love to hear the conversation in that room right now.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Clueless

When you get in on a new site early enough, you get to pick your favorite user ID. When I signed up for gmail I managed to get everyone's favorite first initial and last name. Score!

This triumph has not come without its difficulties. I get misdirected email all the time. Often, it is for my father who has the same address but appended information onto the end of it. These I simply forward to him. But I also get emails for Jerrys, Janes, Joannes, Joes, etc. The ones that make me laugh, however, are the ones where people don't know their own email address. I have received numerous requests for email confirmations and even a couple of emails with bank account login information.

Usually when I get one of these emails the exchange is very simple. I somehow let them know they have an incorrect address, I get an oops message and we both go on with with our lives. Yesterday was an exception and I couldn't resist having a little bit of fun.

Original message -
Subject: Are you ignorming[sic] me???
You can't ignore me because you don't like what I have to say!!! If you are going to play that game we are going to have HUGE issues.
I think I have sucked up a lot of the years. I'm not needy, nor am I dependent. I dont' ask for daily phone calls or text messages. I do expect more than a one line email.
I am feeling very alienated and I am very upset about it.

My reply: Do I know you? [I couldn't resist sending a 1-line email]

Message 2 -
Yes!!! You know me. Don't be a wise guy.
I need to talk to you. I have to coordinate furniture. [name withheld] wants me to schedule a mover to pick up the bedroom set. I need to have my stuff put in storage. Do you have room in your unit, or do I need to get another one? I'm also trying to coordinate new carpeting in my place.
At this point I would like you to notice that there are no signatures on these emails so I have no idea what this person's name is. Next, her being so clueless, I decide to have a little bit of fun. My thought is to go so far out that it will be obvious that something is amiss.
Okay. Busted. How could I ever forget that wild night in Cabo? I never knew one person could take that much pain and enjoy it so much.
The response I received was, to say, unexpected.
Hahahahahah, you are sooo funny.
While you are out galavanting around South America I'm trying to coordinate real life. Can you please let me know about the storage bin? I will get another one if necessary.
Really? I say something like that and you think I'm serious? Okay. You're so clueless I have to give you another chance to get yourself off the hook.

Response: "Seriously. Who is this?"

My correspondent started a new message with the subject of "Storage."
I needed to start a new email. Can you please tell me about the storage bin?
Oh, wow. You're still missing it? Game on.
I have some room since I've been clearing it out now and then but I'll have to check with my wife to see if you can use it. Plus she has the code - I can never remember it since I don't go there very often. You know the unit is in Moore, right?
Everything in that message is absolutely true. I'm figuring there was a recent breakup or separation so throwing in the wife and a city she probably doesn't recognize will be a big red flag. Nope. It did look promising, though.
What?
Okay, let's throw the clues at her again.
What didn't you understand? My wife has the gate code and I need to make sure it's okay with her for you to store your stuff there. There isn't a lot of room but there is some.
Still not getting it.
You know what stop mentioning ur wife!!! I am abundantly clear that you are still married. The way you torture me and treat me is simply unforgiveable!!!

I shdve known not to be happy with you and think there was a future. I am insane. I continue to do the same thing and I expect a different result from you!

Why would I think ur wife has a key or a code to anything in ur life???

How do you sleep at night???
Now I've done it. Somebody's been a naughty boy.

It's time to come clean.
Okay. Seriously. I am not the person you think I am. I don't mean that metaphorically, I mean that literally. Whatever [name withheld] you know I am not him. I'm 43 years old, live in Oklahoma, have been married for 20 years and can't think of any woman I know with a name that starts with an N.

I apologize for playing games but when I asked if I knew you and you responded the way you did I thought it humorous that you never considered that you had an incorrect email address. Then when I went completely off the reservation with the Cabo comment and you thought I was serious... well... it was just too much to resist. I hope things work out between you and your Joe however it is best for you.
And... she still doesn't get it.
Please stop! I have enough stress w my Dad amd work. I don't have the energy for the games. I really don't.

I think that you know I have an incredible sense of humor, but now I'm stressed out! I don't know how much more info you need about menpause[sic]. Google it! I'm NOT making it up
OMG. She's either blonde or dyes her hair to keep it from being that color. Time to smack her over the head with a big, foam clue bat.
No. No more games. I sincerely have no idea who you are. To the best of my knowledge we have never met. The only Nik I know is my nephew and he spells his name Nikolas. I live in central Oklahoma.

Here, check this out: (link to the about me page on my web site)
FINALLY! She gets it.
I will delete this address from my contacts. I'm glad you got some laughs.
Wow. That's all I can say. But there's more. Between the subject change there was an email I totally missed. Subject: Drunk
Are you trying to be funny, or are you drunk? I certainly would hate to think that you could be that cold and insensitive.
I'm reaching out and you are being an arrogant jack ass. You don't deserve me.
Man, I hope she eventually gets her head straight.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sounds Fishy To Me

Prospective Hire,

Our Human Resource Department has briefly reviewed your information for possible employment. The job that is open with our corporation is an administrative vacancy enabling workers to work from their personal work place. This online position pays a base salary of $2,000 each month. Benefits are available following a 90 day probationary period (medical/dental). After being with the company for 12 months, employees will be available to advance to open staff positions.

Brief Tasks: The agent assists the organization by processing transactions from investors and clients alike. Agents will receive funds to their bank on behalf of the organization. The employee then proceeds by processing the transaction in accordance with the company's standard.

Qualifications: The employee must have a cell phone with SMS capabilities, computer with internet access, local transportation to process transactions, bank account, be 18 yrs or older, be a US citizen, and be able to follow directions.

Apply For Vacancy: Open slots are limited. You should respond promptly to ensure you are considered for this position. Respond to this email with your full name, full address, phone number, and a short description of why you would be good for this job. Our staff will follow up with you within the next few days. Please be sure to include all requested information. This will show that you do follow directions very well.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

What A Waste Of A Survey

I have been a member of Harris Poll Online for several years now. Every time I complete a survey, I get points. I can then trade those points in for products. I've gotten a lava lamp, a nice bird feeder (I broke the one my wife got), and a $20 Amazon gift card among other things. But the process isn't the important thing here.

I've been doing this for a while. Sometimes, you can tell who paid for the survey by the questions they ask. There are a couple that I don't bother answering anymore because I can tell from the title who paid for it and the types of questions they're going to ask and, frankly, I've already giving my opinion.

You can also tell what they're trying to find out by the questions they ask. The questions are generally balanced and the surveys are fairly well written... until today. They're going to have to throw mine out. I finally started giving BS answers because they kept asking the exact same thing using different terms, they asked questions that seemed irrelevant and one question didn't even offer complete options. It asked how strongly I agreed or disagreed and didn't give any agreement options. It stopped at neutral.

Oh well, I got my 100 points.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I Should Have Played The Powerball

There's been a lot going on lately that I have wanted to tell you about or comment about but I just haven't been able to make the time to get the posts written. Then, when I do have time, I generally can't recall exactly what I was going to write about which is why I posted my last post.

One of the things I was going to write about was this weekend. The post would have been written in future tense but since the weekend is now over it will be written in past tense.

The middle nephew graduated from High School this weekend. Sunday, to be exact. We drove up to Kansas City, then up to Linneus, MO (about 2 hrs NE of KC) for the doings. There are 4 or 5 small towns (populations 200 to 500) in the county and I'm pretty sure it's a consolidated school. Even at that, there were only 18 people in his graduating class.

Side note: When we left for KC on Saturday, we had been on I-35 for 15 to 20 minutes and saw the Tornado Intercept Vehicle (TIV1). We were heading North, it was heading South.

The small number of graduating seniors in his class doesn't in any way diminish the fact that M was 3rd in his class. The valedictorian and salutatorian were both major overachievers (that's not a bad thing). We are very proud of all of my brother's kids. Given the cards that life has dealt them, any or all of them could have easily written off their education and underachieved but none of them did. E graduated, went into the Army reserves and is now working on a college degree. N graduated with his HS diploma and Associates degree on the same day through a special academy in Missouri. M just graduated 3rd in his class with scholarships to pursue his chosen career of Funeral Director/Mortician (at least he'll never have a lack of clientele). B is a basketball star set to graduate next year and will probably end up with some sort of scholarships himself. Q is coming into his own and is shaping up to be just as smart and active as his brothers. I am proud of all of them... yeah, I know I already said that but I figure it's worth repeating.

Now, to explain the title.

When I got to KC on Saturday, I had an email from Sprite Backup. Sprite Backup is a backup program for windows Mobile devices. My phone came with a lite version pre-installed which has saved my bacon more than once. Anyway, they were running a contest to give away a copy of the latest version so I entered... and promptly forgot I even entered until I got the email this weekend. I didn't win the software but I did win 3rd prize which was an 8GB MicroSD card. Not too shabby.

But wait, there's MORE!

In mid-to-late-April, Pantech, AT&T and 26 blog sites started a contest to give away 26 Pantech Matrix Pro phones, each with a $100 AT&T gift card for activation or accessories or whatever. The contest rules were decided by the individual sites. Some of them asked for essays about anything from the best ways to using cloud computing to why do you need this phone. The ones I entered (about 15 of them) required entries about the contest on personal blogs, comments posted to the contest announcement or tweets about the site and the contest.

When I got home this evening, I had received a private message from the site administrator of GearLive saying that I had won their contest! I am so excited! I've just been getting stuff left and right this weekend... which now explains the title.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Even Though It's Not Two's-Day

I received this as an email from my father. I'll send it back to him as an email but I thought I would share it with you:

Two Names You Go By:
1. Joey
2. Joe Joe

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. T-Shirt
2. Shorts

Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Honesty
2. Communication

Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
1. Eat out
2. Travel

Least Favorite Things to do:
1. Clean the bathroom
2. Wait

Things You Want Badly At The Moment:
1. A Bluetooth headset for my cell phone
2. A full-time job

Name of three pets you had/have:
1. Nikita (Niki) my very first pet (a cat) who, after almost 18 years, is still with me.
2. Baron my very first dog. An intelligent, gentle, loving golden retriever mix.
3. Teddy (Bear) my full-size dog with half-size legs - Shepherd-Corgy mix.

Last two automobiles
1. Chevy Silverado 1500 Extended Cab pickup
2. Honda Accord EX V6 with (almost) all the extras

People who will fill this out:
A few other bloggers, perhaps?

Two things you did last night:
1. Worked at the P-T job
2. Updated the blog

Two things you are doing today:
1. Resting
2. Recovering
(Had an expected but nonetheless un-fun reaction to a new medication. To my sister: Too many fish in the sea.)

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. My wife
2. A co-worker

Two things you are doing tomorrow:
1. Going to work
2. Working on the family tree (I hope)

Two last purchases made
1. Calphalon sauce pots (see previous post)
2. Used MCSE certification study guides

Two longest car rides
1. Stillwater, OK to Boise, ID
2. Tulsa, OK to NY/VT one summer when I was young. It was a BLAST, though. We visited Washington, DC, Canada (briefly), and several other points along the way.

Two Favorite Holidays
1. Christmas
2. Thanksgiving

Two Favorite Celebrities
1. Aaron Douglas - He's a very down-to-earth person and is as much a fan of Sci-Fi as anyone
2. James Doohan - He just got it

Two favorite beverages:
1. Fancy Schmancy Frothy Flavored Coffee Beverages (I have my own espresso machine - I REFUSE to pay BigBucks $3-$5 per drink)
2. Water

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I Felt This Worth Sharing

Those of you who are in my email address list know I don't often forward anything that says "forward this" at the bottom.  More often than not, you'll usually receive a reply from me debunking whatever urgency the message contains.  But every once in a while, I'll pass something on.  Sometimes it goes to a chosen few whom I believe have an interest in whatever is contained in the message.  Sometimes, it goes out to a group who I think will "get the joke."  Sometimes, like the cell phone ICE (In Case of Emergency) message, it goes out to everyone I know because I think it's a damn good idea.

Something came into my inbox recently that I want to share with as large an audience as I can.  I can't tell you if it was actually written or recited by the person to whom it is attributed because, frankly, I haven't checked.  It doesn't matter to me who wrote it or if it ever found an audible voice.  It doesn't matter to me if it is cobbled of pieces of several similar messages.  It's just a damn good message.

=========================================================================

If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in
such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

Here with a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.

If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel
threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche,
it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.
She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" (She said the same thing when interviewed after 9-11)

In light of recent events...terrorists attacks, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what
the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is
in.

My Best Regards .. honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

From the Bonhead of the Day Awards

The Best We Have To Look Forward To

A NYC retired police officer, using a fake ID claiming he was born in Tijuana, BC, and listing his address as "123 Fraud Blvd." in "Staton Island, NY" was permitted to enter the Department of Homeland Security to meet DSH officials. Federal law specifically says Mexican-issued IDs are not acceptable, let alone one with all sorts of obvious errors. Sigh!

Washington Post 12-Jun-06
http://washingtontimes.com/functions/print.php?StoryID=20060612-123713-4122r

And people wonder why we bad-mouth our government...

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