Awwww Rats!

Some say life is a rat race. I couldn't agree more. The last few weeks have certainly made me feel as if I am running around a maze just hoping I'll stumble upon the exit. I was shoved into the maze and the door was locked behind me. I have run into and overcome a few obstacles, run into a dead end or two, and found new obstacles to overcome. At the moment, my future is in the hands of others. I can certainly choose a direction but whether or not the obstacles are lowered or doors are unlocked is completely out of my control.

I was involuntarily released from my employment on August 20. The short version is that my direct supervisor and I had communication difficulties. These difficulties led to unspoken expectations on both sides and preconceived resentments on both sides. The end result was that by the time we realized this and started to work beyond the obstacles the damage had been done and I could no longer be effective in my position. I was in the position for two years. The story is, of course, much deeper and much more detailed but when you boil it all down, those are the basics.

My aunt passed away on September 12th from what started as breast cancer. She had been in remission but they found tumors in her spine and pelvis. In the end there was one in her brain, too. My mother had gone to visit after she had been taken to the hospital and was on a respirator. My dad couldn't go since he had broken his leg and had almost no mobility. The wife and I spent the last part of August in KC helping him get around then I went back over Labor Day for a couple of days because I was the only one available.

I've been fighting a mistake in my dismissal that caused me to be unable to apply for any jobs at my previous place of employment. That part got resolved on Wednesday but it also caused me to be denied unemployment benefits. Now that it's corrected on one end, I'm waiting to hear on the benefits appeal. It's so frustrating having to take a potato and wait.

Looking for jobs is depressing and distressing. Most of what I'm finding in my field (which ain't much at all compared to 3 years ago) is for application developers - which I'm not. Some others are scaring me off because they're above my skill level. Most of what's left is call center work which I would prefer not to go back to. It's hard to find two jobs a week to apply for under those circumstances.

Overall, though, we are re-normalizing. We have more meals at home. We think twice, then reconsider and finally have to make a fourth go-round before we buy anything (bathroom tissue is always a yes). I ended my garage sale habit on August 21st. I would like to say I'm getting a lot of projects done around the house but between the traveling and the appealing and the job searching there just hasn't been time. I'll get a round tiut one of these days and make things happen. I already got part of the kitchen cleaned up.

My mood is pretty good. I tend to be optimistic about things. Even though I got fired I still learned a lot of indelible lessons about me, about my abilities, and about where the shortcomings in my performance hindered me (I plan to work on those). It has come to me, though, that with all of the roadblocks I stumbled across my destiny no longer lies at OSU and there is a high probability it no longer belongs in Stillwater.

Time will tell but we know this time not to move too far from our support system - that didn't turn out so well the last time we did that.

There Goes The Neighborhood

Before Google. Before MSN. When Yahoo was just getting started. When Alta Vista was the king of the search engines. When I first got into this world wide web thing back in nineteen ninety whatever with a copy of HTML For Dummies on my knee and notepad on the screen, my first public web site was posted at Geocities. At the time, Geocities offered something like 5 or 10 Megabytes of space and was organized into categories that were accessed as "neighborhoods." For instance, my site was going to be related to entertainment (specifically movies) so I moved into Hollywood. All of the 'addresses' in Hollywood were full so I moved into the Hollywood Hills. The site is long gone (it disappeared a few years ago) but the address was www.geocities.com/hollywood/hills/2766.

I envisioned a site where peolpe could come to get various types of information about movies: release dates, video release dates, reviews, etc. I called it "Uncle Bubby's Weird World of Wacky Entertainment" (yeah, I know, title lameness and stupidity factor: 9.5). What I envisioned my site would become eventually materialized on the web as The Internet Movie Database (IMDB). Can you imagine little old me and my basic HTML skills putting together something like that? It turned out that it was a lot of work that took a lot of time that I didn't have so I dropped the concept after less than six months (and a few years before IMDB). But I kept the site.

What I did with the site after that still lives on. I still utilize the original concept but the site has taken many forms. It has been edited using Netscape, a couple of different free WYSIWYG editors, MS Frontpage, and is now utilizing a Content Management System. The site has been hosted at many different providers: Some free, some not and sometimes two at a time to have enough storage to accomdate it (I can't name them all). But Bubby's Wav Archive had its humble beginnings at Geocities.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, it seems that Yahoo is quietly shutting down Geocities some time later this year. It's not surprising, really. Beyond the fact that Yahoo, as they often seem to do these days, let it wither away with a lack of promotion, I think times have changed. Like the transition from open-air shopping malls, to enclosed super-malls, to now independent stores connected to each other, the web has changed. With Geocities, you could actually go to a portal and search all of the different neighborhoods. With the strength of modern search engines and the numerous cross-site portals, who needs a portal like Geocities? Plus with the dynamic nature of web sites sometimes, who wants to be locked into a subject matter?

Geocities was good to me and it was there when I needed it. I am sad but not surprised to hear it will soon be no more. Goodbye, old friend.

Yes, I'm Still Working Through It Despite The Lack Of Tears

I'm still good with our decision - hence the lack of tears. Although, if you keep me on the subject too long, they will come.

I was making grilled cheese for lunch today. I found it odd that nobody came to me begging for a piece of cheese. Anabelle doesn't care for American and Teddy didn't know I was doing it. Making a grilled cheese hasn't been that quiet in many many years.

Good Things Comin' My Way This Time Around

When last I blogged at any length, I told you there were some things happening that I could not share with you. Well, now I can.

If you will notice the time stamp at the bottom of this entry, you will notice that I am blogging during work hours. Normally this is discouraged but I won't be working here much longer. A couple of weeks ago, I was offered a position at Oklahoma State University... I'm going home.

The job means more responsibility in line with my career goals, no more hour-long commutes, and more money (although, I could rake it in with bonuses and overtime where I am now). It also means I will probably be blogging more often - but I'm still going to stay away from the subject of work for the most part. I finish up here tomorrow and start there on Monday. I am excited about being back "where everybody knows [my] name." There are some details about the job that I neglected to ask about but what's the fun of going in with your eyes wide open?

There is an aspect I am nervous about. There is an area that I will have access to that requires an FBI background check and certification. I doubt there will be any problems but not knowing their process I have no idea what they will be scrutinizing and how closely they will be scrutinizing it.

In other news...

About eight weeks ago, I took a certification exam for Symantec Backup Exec 12. If you follow that sort of thing, you know that there wasn't a certification exam available for Backup Exec 12 eight weeks ago. What I took was the beta exam.

What is a beta exam? Normally, when you take a certification exam, you are presented with a fixed number of questions (say, 50 or 60) randomly selected from a larger pool of questions (say, 100-200). If you answer a large enough percentage of the 50 or 60 questions correctly, you pass the test. In a beta exam, the pool of questions is much larger than the pool that will actually be used for the certification exam - in this case, I think it was 250. Instead of answering a limited number of randomly chosen question, you have to answer all of the questions (it took me 3 hours and 14 minutes). Once they have a large enough sample of completed exams, they perform an analysis on the questions, decide which ones they want to keep and which ones they want to throw out, then score you based on how you answered the questions they kept.

This whole process apparently takes about eight weeks because I found out this morning that I passed the exam. I am certified in Symantec Backup Exec 12 for Windows Servers Administration. I am VERY proud of this accomplishment because I also learned that one of our analysts (who was responsible for a large part of my training) and another technician did not pass.

It also looks like our financial burden will be eased a bit. In addition to my new position and lower fuel costs as a result, we also learned about an additional income stream that should start in the next 2-3 weeks. It isn't much but it's enough to be helpful.

So, good things are happening in the Fusco household. Here is to them lasting and more good things to come.

Turning Off The Waterfall

Over the years, this blog has brought me much joy, knowledge, and inspiration. In all endeavors, however, there comes a time when changes must be made. I have considered, obsessed about and lost sleep over this decision so it does not come lightly: I am shutting down The Internet Ate My Homework.

With all of the sordid events of the past year and the time investment required for my new job, I have neglected many of my responsibilities and interpersonal relationships. I am so overwhelmed that even when I am inspired to post an entry it has slipped my mind by the time I am able to post it – if I get time. Something has to change and TIAMH is an unfortunate casualty.

This is not a hiatus. I am done. Since Blogger is a free service, it will not cost me anything to leave my historical posts online to be viewed, at least until Google decides the data has been static too long and shuts it off, but from this point forward there will be no new posts. From the depths of my heart I thank you all for your readership and support over the years.

So long. Farewell. Aufwiedersehn. Goodbye.

Rockin' Down The Highway

The Information Superhighway, that is.

I took the first step in moving my web site last night. I actually placed the order and requested the domain transfer.

When I first looked at Go Daddy, I saw they offered 5GB of storage and 250GB of monthly bandwidth (number of bits and bytes transferred to or from the servers). My current plan started with 3GB of storage and 100GB of bandwidth, which was plenty, but was upgraded to 4GB and 150GB during my two-year stay with them. With my current host, I was paying $4.00 per month on an annual contract. Go Daddy offered its basic shared hosting services at $3.79 per month with a 12-month purchase. PLUS, I had an extra special discount code from Geek News Central (todd20) that got me 20% off that 12-month price. Therefore, instead of $45.48 for a year of hosting, I only paid $38.29. (Yeah, I don't get why the math doesn't work out, either. I'm going to have to ask Todd about that one.) The increased size and decreased cost, plus their 99.9% uptime guarantee, are the primary reasons I chose Go Daddy. I would later find out that I did not get the promised 5GB/250GB. Keep reading.

My experience so far with web hosting has been to sign up with a budget hosting service, register my domain or make necessary adjustments to the domain record, and get free domain registration or renewal through the new host. Once the transaction is complete, I receive an email within a few hours with the necessary information to access my account. Then I log in to the cpanel interface, get a few things set up (like subdomains), then connect with an FTP client and get to work. No muss no fuss - easy as 3.1415927.

Prior to my purchase, I searched the Go Daddy FAQs and even sent a few queries to their sales and support departments. All of my inquiries were answered clearly and promptly. Good support, I like that. This looked like it was going to be just as easy as before.

Last night, I finally started clicking those "Add to cart" buttons and building my order. I was made aware very quickly that Go Daddy is in the business of making money by selling internet services. I was not taken directly to my cart. I first had to scroll through almost three screens of add-on services before getting to the Continue button. This I actually understand and I think some people, the people who would need and want to purchase these services, would appreciate it. Presenting a list of add-on services - enhanced email, SSL certificates, enhanced statistics, etc. - lets me know the services are available and are not automatically included and gives me an opportunity to add them to my order without having to go hunt them down after the fact. I just skipped them and clicked continue. All I'm interested in is a place to put my stuff.

Now, because I wanted to move my domain registration to Go Daddy instead of leaving it with my original registrar with whom I have not had a hosting or any other relationship for two years, I had to add the transfer to my shopping cart. I knew up front that domain registration and transfers were not included with the hosting plans so I was ready to pay the nominal fees associated with it.

Once again, when I requested the transfer, I was given all sorts of choices - all of which would cost me more. Do you want to register any additional domain extensions (.net, .org, etc.)? Do you want just the included 1-year registration extension or would you like to register for additional years? Do you want a public or private registration? How about undercoating protection? Martinizing? Starch? No, thank you, I just want the transfer and the one-year extension.

In the end, the one-year hosting agreement and domain transfer ended up costing me $40.48. Still cheaper than the $48.00 I was paying and I get more space, more monthly bandwidth, probably faster output, and an uptime guarantee. The requisite emails arrived and I started my journey.

When I logged in to my account I was a little lost at first. I had all of these different sections and different options I could choose. This was far from the cpanel interface I was used to. As I was perusing the choices, I noticed one labeled "Hosting Accounts" and realized I was looking at a control center that was a level above where I was normally used to being. This is where I could manage multiple services I might have with Go Daddy (shared hosting, dedicated hosting, domain registrations, etc.) and not just my web site.

I proceeded to request the domain registrant transfer. It was a rather painless process although their step-by-step instructions left out a few steps (such as clicking a checkbox here or there) that were easy enough, while looking at the page, to figure out I needed to or wanted to perform. As a bonus, it didn't include any advertisements or requests for additional services.

It was getting late by this time so i went to bed. When I got up this morning, I started going through the hosting account setup. Never had to do that before. I chose my user name, set my password, provided my domain name, and chose a few options such as PHP4 or PHP5. It was when I was presented with the summary that I got my surprise. Have a look...

Yes, you're reading that right. It says the disk space is double what I thought it would be and there is an additional 50GB of bandwidth than what I expected. I went back to the main page to double check and, sure enough, it's listed there, too. It means that somewhere between the time I first started looking at Go Daddy for hosting and the time I actually placed my order, they increased the offering. Now, I can't believe I'm actually going to say this but... W00T! With the nature of my site, chances are slim that I will ever fill that space or use that bandwidth but it does mean that I can post higher resolution photos without worrying about either of those two items.

Now that my hosting account has been activated, I have to wait until the processing is complete to be able to start uploading content. No problem, I have until mid-March before my other hosting account expires. This has all been a very different experience. The up side is that I have more control over my services and more flexibility in what services I have and how they are used. The down side is a little more complication and a lot more sales pitches. Once I get everything set up, though, I shouldn't have to interact at that level much.

That's My Story And I'm Sticking To It

Eleven months ago, to the day, I was released from my job. Since then, I have been bent, folded, spindled and mutilated. I have tried to make sense of everything that happened to me and have tried to accept all of it but generally failed miserably. I have been running from my circumstance and constantly trying to get back to some state I think I should be in but never actually achieved. To put it more simply, I have been second-guessing my actions over the past 30 months.

In my current situation, I have been basically miserable. Part of that has been physical, part of it has been attitude. I worked to convince myself that I hate my commute and don't like my job. While my situation isn't ideal, I have come to realize that I am actually in a pretty good position.

I have made a decision. I have decided to stay put, stop lamenting my situation, and take advantage of some opportunities the company I work for extends. I am going to learn what I can about the job that I do, advance as I am allowed, and get certified as much as possible.

That Was The Year That Was

So here we are at the end of 2007 and I present to you my recap of the year's events as they have happened in my life. 2007 was the year that I:

• Saw Star Wars again for the first time.
• Discovered that hard drives sing when they die.
• Learned, without a doubt, where I stood with my former employer.
• Understood what it was to be unemployed.
• Then re-employed.
• Then unemployed again.
• Discovered and employed the use of blog labels.
• Started listening to podcasts. (my favorites are Geek News Central, The Naked Scientists, Buzz Out Loud, and TWiT)
• Learned how to pack a house in two weeks for an interstate move.
• And discovered it really can't be done with all the crap we had.
• Got pushed way out of my comfort zone.
• Remembered what it was like to deal with a landlord.
• Turned the big Four-Oh.
• Decided Windows Vista Media Center was nothing short of AWFUL.
• Learned all about FROG rooms.
• Decided that John Lennon was the brains behind the Beatles.
• Experienced epicurial culture shock.
• Experienced medical culture shock.
• Was exposed to scams for the unemployed.
• Celebrated my FOURTH year of blogging (late again).
• Learned more about being "Uncle Bubby"
• Did a little stargazing outside a SciFi convention.
• Tried to make sense of it all.
• Felt the iPhone was a foolish investment (I still do).
• Reached a turning point.
• Learned where I really needed to be.
• Watched a beloved pet die.
• Experienced a paradigm shift.
• Decided to never eat a Taco Bell EVER AGAIN!!
• Was truly thankful for many things.
• Reviewed Windows Vista after a year... and found it lacking.
• Took a look at recording industry paranoia throughout the years.

Wow, it's been a really big year and a lot has happened in the past twelve months. I have experienced a lot of things for the first time. I have experienced a lot of things that I didn't want to experience again or never wanted to experience in the first place. But through it all, I have survived and, more importantly, I have learned. I don't know if I am a better person for it but I do know that I am a different person for it.

First Week Down

I've finished my first week at the new job. Most of it has been spent training. The rest has been spent catching up with old friends who work there as well (some of whom I didn't know were there), listening to war stories, and listening to everyone try to convince me that this job will be easy. I have no reason to doubt them and I'm not worried.

Getting up at 5:30 in the morning has been a chore this week but I'm starting to get used to it. It takes me about an hour each way to get to and from work. I'm not one much for driving but I'm even getting used to that. I finally have a chance to regularly listen to some of those podcasts I subscribe to.

We made it safely back from Boise. Having made that drive three times previously, I was able to split it up just right so we made good pushes but didn't push too hard. We were actually not completely worn out when we arrived.

Side note: Not knowing hardly anyone in Boise, I decided to pay someone to help pack the truck. I knew we'd have plenty of help on the receiving end but I knew I would not pack the U-Haul efficiently and I didn't want to risk hurting myself. When I booked the truck, I hired a local moving company through e-Move to help load. It cost me $210 for three guys to work for five hours and it was worth EVERY PENNY. The truck was PACKED and only one item (a small computer desk I bought at a thrift store) didn't make it back.

My brother was a HUGE help driving the truck and my Mother-in-law even came up to help clean out the duplex and be an extra driver. On this end, my sister drove down from KC (partly to help and partly to take my brother home) and my brother-in-law brought his kids up from Oklahoma city. With all the cheap labor, we had the truck unpacked in around three hours.

I had a week before starting the new job so we spent some time getting the essentials unpacked. We unloaded clothes, food, a few pots and pans, and the televisions. The house is still full of boxes but 99% of them are at least in the room where they belong. We're slowly getting the rest of them unpacked. It's humorous, though, because almost every room has two or three half-empty, open boxes lying about.

Back On The Air

Another short note. We've got DSL at the house and I have my PC hooked up and running. I have lots to say but it's getting late. My new job is in Oklahoma City and I have to get up around 5:30am to make it there on time. More later... I promise.

Down To The Nitty Gritty

This may be my last post for a while. In a few minutes, I will be packing up the computer. I may be able to post over the next week or so if the wife allows me the privilege of using her laptop but there are no guarantees. When we get home, I have no idea how long it will be before we set up access at the house. Money will be tight so I'll have to wait at least until the first paycheck comes in.

Everything seems to be going well. JD's ashes came back yesterday. Picking him up was a bit emotional for us again because we miss him so and he was taken from us so quickly. But he's here with us now and we're all going home together. What I have left to pack is some of the forgotten items that get pushed into corners and a few of the last minute items (like the computer). I was considering having a couple of guys come in on Monday and help me pack but I think I'll be able to get it all. The only question is whether I'll have enough boxes but that's easily enough remedied.

On Monday, the wife, the critters, and I are moving out to a hotel. My mother-in-law will be flying in early evening on Monday. She's going to help me with some of the last minute cleaning before the carpet cleaners come in on Tuesday afternoon and she will help with the driving.

I'm picking up a 26' truck and a 6x12 trailer from U-Haul some time on Wednesday. I'm hoping it's the morning because I have the loading crew scheduled to show up ~3:30. U-Haul is supposed to call me before 5pm on Tuesday to tell me where I can pick up the equipment. I'm a little concerned because I may have given them the house number but we probably won't have any phones hooked up after Monday. Doesn't matter, if I don't hear from them, I'll call them on my cell phone.

Late Wednesday night (like, 11:30pm), my brother is flying in from Kansas City. He drives a delivery truck for a living so I'm going to let him manhandle the U-Haul back to Oklahoma. I'm hoping to check out Thursday morning. I still have to call the management company to arrange that. I believe we can just drop off the keys but I want to do the walkthrough with them if I can. Regardless, we hit the road on Thursday and will be back where we belong by Saturday evening.

Operation Mashed Potato(e) ;)

The title is what my sister is calling our move back to Oklahoma. Not sure I care for it because it smacks of failure, but it's cute and I know that's not how it was meant.

I've made some good progress in packing and arranging and planning over the past couple of days. My brother is coming up to help drive the truck back (thank God!) and my mother-in-law is coming up to help with some of the last minute packing/cleaning/arrangements and to help drive back. It's good to have family.

When this all started, I wasn't sure how close our margin was going to be. I was wondering if we were going to have enough money to eat before that first paycheck came in. Actually, I don't think I had the job yet so it was even more tense. Anyway, I said to God, "In the past, there has always been enough money to survive. It has shown up at the most needed time and from the most unlikely of sources. I ask only that we have enough for I know from experience that you will provide it." So far, it's working out.

The days are long and busy but that elephant is starting to get noticeably smaller.

Insert Title Here

My brain is scrambled. I have so many things going on right now it's hard to keep on task. I'm trying to pack. I'm making arrangements for the trip home. I'm trying to figure out all of the travel and relocation logistics. I'm planning the route and mapping out gas stations, pit stops and lodging. I'm trying to do normal things like laundry, dishes, etc. I'm trying to clean (at least somewhat) as I go. I'm dealing with some family issues that randomly require my attention and with which I must balance my chores to keep from appearing crass and uncaring. I'm taking care of pre-employment duties. I'm answering phone calls from family and employers. And in the midst of all of this, I'm trying to process the trauma of losing a beloved pet and trying to keep an eye on the remaining dog to make sure he's dealing with it okay.

It's no wonder I feel like my time is so fragmented that I'm surprised I get anything done and I feel like there should be four of me.

One bite at a time.

Musings

It's been a rough few weeks around here. Last night was an exclamation point - a big, bold, italicized exclamation point - somewhere in the paragraph that is this time of my life. It could be much worse. Those closest to me know why. Sorry I can't share it with all of you.

Life moves forward. I don't know if I mentioned it but I signed the papers accepting the job offer in Oklahoma City and sent them off. I've made several arrangements for the move and there are several more to make. I make progress every day on packing. Today was a big day. The room I'm sitting in right now is practically empty save for the computer, its associated peripherals and a hotel-style writing desk too big to place in the garage right now.

Tomorrow, I tackle the spare bedroom. We weren't actively using it so there isn't much that needs to be packed - at least, I don't think so - but I need to move the treadmill out and pack up several small items. Moving the treadmill involves removing the arms and not reattaching them until I reach the garage.

Speaking of the garage, it's getting quite full. I'm moving as much out there as I can to help expedite the loading process next Thursday. I have no concept of the capacity of a 26-foot U-Haul (although, I know you can get a small, single-engine plane in one - I've seen the pictures) so with each box and each piece of furniture, I wonder if it is all going to fit. It is for this reason, in part, that I hired a couple of people from a local moving company (via emove.com) to assist with loading the truck. I figure they'll pack it in tighter than I possibly could and will pack it safer than I possibly could.

Life has become very surreal over the past few weeks. A lot of my previous perceptions have been deconstructed. Things that used to matter a lot are no longer as important and things I used to take for granted are of the utmost importance to me. There has been a lot of stress. There have been a lot of tears. Life moves us toward a new, but familiar, destination. It will be an adventure, to be certain. Life always is. But the sense of excitement, wonderment and anticipation are absent this time around. Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep, I'm tired, and I'm rambling... could go either way.

In the midst of all of this, I saw a sign someone had made. It read, "He never said it would be easy. Just that it would be worth it." I think I'm going to hang on that one for a while.

Stay safe, everybody, and I'll see you soon.

That Peaceful Feeling Got Overthrown

I'm back in stressville. I see the clock ticking away, I look at all that still needs to be packed, I look at all that still needs to be cleaned, I try to remember all the tasks that must be done (arrange for help loading the truck, make hotel reservations, cancel utilities, etc. etc. etc.), I subtract time I still have to be at work (last day is Saturday night), I keep a close eye on the dwindling bank account...

I wonder if I'll be able to get it all done in time and if we'll have enough money.

I know I'm eating an elephant here and the only way to do that is one bite at a time. But it sure looks like a REALLY BIG ELEPHANT!

On the work front, I received a verbal job offer this morning. They are sending me all the necessary paperwork. All I have to do is sign it, mail it back, get back to Oklahoma and I start on November 5. Well, there is the matter of a drug test and background check but those are merely a formality for me.

I Feel Like A Cat Toy!

I'm being played with. It seems that I am now the Universe's plaything. I get no significant action on my job search in Boise for six months. I make the decision to move back to Oklahoma - the lease is expiring, the wife's job is ending, I have career possibilities in Oklahoma, I have just enough money to make the move - and suddenly everything picks up.

About the same time I was originally talking to the recruiter for the job in Oklahoma, I received an email and a call from a bank in Boise. I responded to the email and made a single attempt to make phone contact (just to keep the door open) but haven't pursued it beyond that. I haven't called them again and they haven't called me.

The job offer from the recruiter is now on hold. The last word is it's the end of their quarter and the hold is probably related to that. I am supposed to call next Wednesday to see if the offer can be extended with a start date on or after November 1, or if he has to wait until November 1 to extend the offer.

In the mean time, I have received a phone call from a recruiting company for a well-paying position with a "fortune 500 company" in Oklahoma (I honestly have no idea who the company is). I am working to connect with him today and get the scoop on that situation.

So I finally determine when we will be moving and I finish reserving the U-Haul. I pop over to my email account to check for the confirmation and what else do I find? A message from Boise State (with whom I have applied for 5 or 6 positions) saying "Congratulations! You're a finalist" and asking for a phone interview (I applied for the job in early September before much of the current situation went down). The job is one that would be easy to do, appears to pay very well for what it is, and would allow me to easily attend classes for my Master's degree.

I don't know whether I'm coming or going!

Honestly, though, I have to move back to Oklahoma. There are circumstances that require that I return no matter what opportunity may be presented to me in Boise. I just really wish, as much difficulty as I've had here so far, it were easier to tear myself away from Boise.

Strangely At Peace

For some reason I am at peace today. Everything that has been causing me stress for the past couple of weeks is still present but it simply isn't bothering me. Maybe it is because the moving plans are coming together. Maybe it is because I managed to get some semblance of organization applied to the packing. Maybe it is because a couple of utility bills came in today and they're not as bad as I expected. Maybe it is because some of the darkness has lifted just the slightest bit. I don't know.

What I do know is that it is all going to be alright. I have no firm job offers. I haven't the slightest idea how we will support ourselves once we get home. The mortgage is already overdue. I am certain we will not get back all of our rental deposits (if we get any of them back). But somehow, I know, in my heart, that everything will be fine. God has granted me peace. Thank you, God.

Checking In

There's a lot going on but not much I can talk about. We are moving home and will be back before the end of the month. I am working to finalize when and how.

Interestingly enough, I have had more activity in my job search in the past two weeks (since applying exclusively in Oklahoma) that I have in the past six months. I got a call just this afternoon about something I applied for late last week (we've only exchanged voice mails so far).

I'm not sure why we were sent here. The answer may never be revealed to me. I do know that we belong home - in Oklahoma or at least in the general vicinity. The way things operate here in Boise, we might as well be in a foreign country. Many of the customs are just as different.

I Wish The Universe Would Make Up Its Mind

I just spoke to the recruiter. The good news is that I'm definitely next in line for an offer. The bad news is they've been put on some sort of hiring freeze. They may be able to make an offer in 2-3 weeks, or it might be up to a couple of months.

I need to get home. I have the means to get there but no means of support once we're there. The trouble is there's not much support (financially) left here, either. I'm ready to move forward but I keep getting told to wait. What am I waiting for? Why won't it happen, whatever it is? Why am I not allowed to lay down my burdens?

The 11th Hour

It's been about eleven hours since my last entry and the situation has improved considerably. There's a lot less worry around here.

One thing that changed was in the job search. I had a phone interview yesterday morning for a position in Oklahoma. The recruiter (yes, it's a large, national company) called me back this afternoon to tell me that I had done well in the interview. He also told me that while he could not extend me an offer at this time (nor guarantee that one was forthcoming), that was the way they were leaning and I would hear something by Tuesday. He said that should they extend an offer, the start date would be late October or early November. I told him that fit well with my plans, and I mentally adjusted the possibility of moving home to 99%.

Breathing a little easier... and already starting to pack.