On May 12, 2004, I will have been married for fourteen years. It doesn't seem like it's been that long (at least, not most of the time).
I have been very lucky in these past fourteen years to share the company of my wife. She's definitely the boss of the house but she lets me do a lot of things I want to do and, through her financial management, has allowed us to do some things I know I wouldn't have done (like buying a house, much less being on our second house).
I want to do something beyond flowers and a nice dinner for our anniversary (although I'm already planning that). Part of the reason for this is that I will be fishing with my dad in Missouri the following weekend.
As I drove by the local humane society last night (they're open late on Thursdays), I thought about getting a pet. I put this out of my mind quickly, though, for two reasons...
1) She doesn't recover well from losing a pet and it generally takes her a long while before she's ready to replace them.
2) She's specifically said she's not ready to get another dog. JD has been behaving himself much better as an only dog and we like it that way.
3) The last time I got her a pet as a gift was a disaster that caused us much headache and heartache.
She had said she had always wanted a persian cat. A friend at work was trying to find a home for his mother's cat, Felicia (it's a big picture and may take some time to load). I jumped at the chance, sight unseen.
Felicia was an extremely loving, friendly, cuddly kitten and was a joy to have around. Unfortunately, she had a problem with using the litterbox. After several years of cleaning and replacing carpets and eventually having to lock her up in one of the bathrooms in the new house and clean that bathroom on a daily basis, we decided to have her put down.
So... no pets. When Shelly is ready for a new pet, she'll let me know.
Friday, April 30, 2004
I really should be working - The Friday Five
The Friday Five is unavailable until May. She's even taken the archive offline because of some badwidth issues. But, lucky you, I found someone else who posted one that I am going to use...
1. What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
I once went face-to-face with a grizzly bear!! No, I didn't. I once chickened out on rapelling 50-feet off my high-school stadium - you think I'd really wrestle a wild animal?
It's hard to say what the most daring thing I've ever done is. I usually only take daring risks in video games.
2. What one thing would you like to try that your mother/friend/significant other would never approve of?
Storm chasing. For those of you not in Oklahoma, our television stations have teams of people who go out and chase tornados to get video for the TV station and gather data for research.
3. On a scale of 1-10, what's your risk factor? (1=never take risks, 10=it's a lifestyle)
Four. I don't take a lot of risks but I understand that sometimes you have to in order to move forward.
4. What's the best thing that's ever happened to you as a result of being bold/risky?
I gained respect from my brother. (I had a conversation with him about this a couple of weeks ago - he doesn't really remember the incident. I almost broke his nose and he doesn't remember it.)
5. ... and what's the worst?
Easter weekend I was playing blackjack in KC, split, then doubled on both of the splits. I had $40 on the table... and the dealer drew to 21. Of course, I still walked out of the casino $30 richer than when I went in.
Nobody's ever died as a result of my being bold/risky so it can't be all that bad.
Bonus question that I added...
5a. What's the one thing you'd love to do but never would?
Tell my bosses what I really think about them.
1. What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
I once went face-to-face with a grizzly bear!! No, I didn't. I once chickened out on rapelling 50-feet off my high-school stadium - you think I'd really wrestle a wild animal?
It's hard to say what the most daring thing I've ever done is. I usually only take daring risks in video games.
2. What one thing would you like to try that your mother/friend/significant other would never approve of?
Storm chasing. For those of you not in Oklahoma, our television stations have teams of people who go out and chase tornados to get video for the TV station and gather data for research.
3. On a scale of 1-10, what's your risk factor? (1=never take risks, 10=it's a lifestyle)
Four. I don't take a lot of risks but I understand that sometimes you have to in order to move forward.
4. What's the best thing that's ever happened to you as a result of being bold/risky?
I gained respect from my brother. (I had a conversation with him about this a couple of weeks ago - he doesn't really remember the incident. I almost broke his nose and he doesn't remember it.)
5. ... and what's the worst?
Easter weekend I was playing blackjack in KC, split, then doubled on both of the splits. I had $40 on the table... and the dealer drew to 21. Of course, I still walked out of the casino $30 richer than when I went in.
Nobody's ever died as a result of my being bold/risky so it can't be all that bad.
Bonus question that I added...
5a. What's the one thing you'd love to do but never would?
Tell my bosses what I really think about them.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Spring has sprung
To some of you, this is not news but yesterday marked one of the "firsts" of the season.
When I got home last night I was trying to figure out what to have for dinner. I opened the freezer and was greeted with the sight of two packages of bratwurst. I thought for about half a second, grabbed the top package, put it in the microwave on defrost and headed for the deck. I pulled the now rather shabby cover off the grill and brought the grill in for a cleaning... Bratwurst tastes best grilled. In a pinch a George Foreman grill will do the trick but we haven't discovered which box contains ours yet.
It was BE-YU-TI-FULL outside. The wind was blowing, the grill was heating up, and a couple of geese were floating gently on the far pond.
I think the geese are nesting again. Last year we had a pair waddling about with six gosslings. Unfortunately, I think a couple of owls did most of them in. At one point they were down to one then I didn't see them again. I'm not sure if any of them made it. I hope we get some more this year. They were just so darn cute.
The barn swallows are also back. Last year, just after we got settled in the house, we had a couple build a nest just outside our front door. We had started off using the garage to go in and out. By the time we switched to the front door, it was too late. She laid her eggs before I could get the nest down. They're flitting in and out of the breezeway again. I keep checking for signs of a nest but none yet. I'm going to discourage it early. It's not that I mind the barn swallows but they get quite protective. We could only stand in the front yard for about 5 minutes before they were swarming all around us. Mama would start chirping, dad would show up, then they would come out of NOWHERE! A couple minutes later, mama would get brave and start dive bombing us.
I got a rare treat on Sunday. I saw three birds perched on the fence. For some reason, my brain told me they were kingfishers. What the hell was I thinking? I don't think kingfishers are even native to Oklahoma. Turns out, they were three scissor-tailed flycatchers, our state bird. I didn't immediately identify them as scissor-tails (they're hard to mistake) because I was looking at them straight-on. They have this really cool kinda smile.
So, that's been my nature weekend and week so far. Of course, it's time to mow the lawn again, too (I've already done it twice).
[For those of you who are new, my house backs up to a man-made wetland (my house is off the right of the picture). I see canadian geese, blue heron, killdeer, cattle egret, great egrets, scissor-tailed flycatchers, mallards, red-winged blackbirds, and an occaisonal glossy ibis. And I can see all that out my back window.]
When I got home last night I was trying to figure out what to have for dinner. I opened the freezer and was greeted with the sight of two packages of bratwurst. I thought for about half a second, grabbed the top package, put it in the microwave on defrost and headed for the deck. I pulled the now rather shabby cover off the grill and brought the grill in for a cleaning... Bratwurst tastes best grilled. In a pinch a George Foreman grill will do the trick but we haven't discovered which box contains ours yet.
It was BE-YU-TI-FULL outside. The wind was blowing, the grill was heating up, and a couple of geese were floating gently on the far pond.
I think the geese are nesting again. Last year we had a pair waddling about with six gosslings. Unfortunately, I think a couple of owls did most of them in. At one point they were down to one then I didn't see them again. I'm not sure if any of them made it. I hope we get some more this year. They were just so darn cute.
The barn swallows are also back. Last year, just after we got settled in the house, we had a couple build a nest just outside our front door. We had started off using the garage to go in and out. By the time we switched to the front door, it was too late. She laid her eggs before I could get the nest down. They're flitting in and out of the breezeway again. I keep checking for signs of a nest but none yet. I'm going to discourage it early. It's not that I mind the barn swallows but they get quite protective. We could only stand in the front yard for about 5 minutes before they were swarming all around us. Mama would start chirping, dad would show up, then they would come out of NOWHERE! A couple minutes later, mama would get brave and start dive bombing us.
I got a rare treat on Sunday. I saw three birds perched on the fence. For some reason, my brain told me they were kingfishers. What the hell was I thinking? I don't think kingfishers are even native to Oklahoma. Turns out, they were three scissor-tailed flycatchers, our state bird. I didn't immediately identify them as scissor-tails (they're hard to mistake) because I was looking at them straight-on. They have this really cool kinda smile.
So, that's been my nature weekend and week so far. Of course, it's time to mow the lawn again, too (I've already done it twice).
[For those of you who are new, my house backs up to a man-made wetland (my house is off the right of the picture). I see canadian geese, blue heron, killdeer, cattle egret, great egrets, scissor-tailed flycatchers, mallards, red-winged blackbirds, and an occaisonal glossy ibis. And I can see all that out my back window.]
Everything's humming along...
I thought about posting a couple of entries last night but then... well... the video card did show up last night. I spent the entire night playing games.
I had some initial difficulties but they weren't unexpected. I had read reviews of the Sapphire Radeon 9600 and many of them said the drivers that came with the card didn't quite make the cut but a quick download of the most recent drivers from ATI did the trick. I had hoped that the CD that came with my card would have more recent drivers but that proved to be wrong. I fixed it up lickety-split and was on my way.
Today, I got the web server back up and running. This past weekend, I decided to upgrade the software. I had loaded Red Hat 9 on the original hardware and it did therefore spew forth errors, the sum of which were the equivalent of digital vomit. I ended up putting RH8 on it. A few weeks later, I received new hardware from a friend and thought I would give RH9 a try on the new hardware. It wasn't until my updates/uploads (via SSH) started having difficulties that I decided it was time to take action.
I did try an update over the weekend... and it failed. I tried again Monday night... no dice. Basically, I was working with a bad CD-ROM and some bad CDs. This morning, I dragged it into the office with me and successfully loaded Red Hat Fedora Core Linux on it.
Kevin says I should update the kernel to v2.6 but I'm not sure I want to venture down that road quite yet.
I had some initial difficulties but they weren't unexpected. I had read reviews of the Sapphire Radeon 9600 and many of them said the drivers that came with the card didn't quite make the cut but a quick download of the most recent drivers from ATI did the trick. I had hoped that the CD that came with my card would have more recent drivers but that proved to be wrong. I fixed it up lickety-split and was on my way.
Today, I got the web server back up and running. This past weekend, I decided to upgrade the software. I had loaded Red Hat 9 on the original hardware and it did therefore spew forth errors, the sum of which were the equivalent of digital vomit. I ended up putting RH8 on it. A few weeks later, I received new hardware from a friend and thought I would give RH9 a try on the new hardware. It wasn't until my updates/uploads (via SSH) started having difficulties that I decided it was time to take action.
I did try an update over the weekend... and it failed. I tried again Monday night... no dice. Basically, I was working with a bad CD-ROM and some bad CDs. This morning, I dragged it into the office with me and successfully loaded Red Hat Fedora Core Linux on it.
Kevin says I should update the kernel to v2.6 but I'm not sure I want to venture down that road quite yet.
Monday, April 26, 2004
I still don't get it...
Okay, back to Matrix: Revolutions...
If you look at any good movie and its sequels, each movie, though part of a greater story, can stand on its own. You might be a little lost on some character development, but you can still enjoy the movie. If give you, for instance, the following:
- The Indiana Jones movies
- Star Wars 4,5,6 (the jury is still out on 1 & 2)
- The Rocky movies (I never saw the original and was still able to enjoy, or at least follow, the others I did see)
- Father of The Bride 1 & 2 (or Father's Little Dividend for the purists)
- The Lethal Weapon movies
There are, I am sure, other examples, but that's over a dozen movies that are connected but can be seen individually.
Not so with Reloaded and Revolutions. The Matrix stands well on its own - it had to or we'd never have seen the other two. It has a definite beginning, nice plot twists and interest in the middle and a definite end. Yes, it was left open for a sequel but had the sequels never materialized, I felt satisfied with the resolution.
Reloaded was a joke. I mean, he walked through a door. That was it. That was what the first hour and a half was building up to. HE WALKED THROUGH A DOOR!!! How f-ing lame can you possibly be??!! I tell my friends, "It was a great middle of a movie." You know, the middle of the movie. The part where you yawn a bit and go get more popcorn. The part that you must suffer through for sake of the plot.
Revolutions at least had a good chase scene but it was ultra-dependent on Reloaded. It picks up right where the other one left off. It's like walking in on the middle of a conversation or at the punchline of a joke. You're lost without the other part of it.
Here's what I would have done differently...
First, 86 the rave scenen from Reloaded. The speech beforehand works but the rave was just a vehicle to watch data-port-laden Trinity and Neo bump uglies to a beat. It wasn't at all arousing (I couldn't even tell who was who) and there are other ways to show that they love each other. I mean, if you're going to do something like that in an R-rated movie at least show some flesh.
Show the failed pre-eminent strike. This would let you see not only the betrayal brought about by Agent Smith - making a better case for his destruction at the end of Revolutions - but also the scale of the sentinel attack. I mean, they built up to it by showing the advance but then blew it off like "oh, yeah, we lost every stinking hovership we have." To paraphrase a line from Crimson Tide, you don't put on a condom unless you're going to screw.
Either condense the last two movies into one, or spend more time during Reloaded making the audience care about the residents of Zion.
Take out one of the "Superman" shots from Reloaded. We don't need two - or were there three?
I already said the Agent Smith fights were tired. The multi-Smith fight in Reloaded could have been much shorter and had the same impact of, "Holy $(&^ there's a bunch of them!" and establishing the spectators for the fight in Revolutions.
End Reloaded with a fight. At least end it with and "I'm still here and I'm still after you" moment. Maybe have Neo kill the old dude's bodyguard before he walks out the door.
The focal shift from Matrix to real world for Revolutions was a good move... but why give Neo super powers outside the Matrix? You can do the whole second-sight thing without the, "Look, I can kill sentinels with the wave of my hand," thing.
The train man? Did we even need to see him? And since when did programs - other than viruses - have children?
Why the hell did Neo go off to think in Revolutions? Just let him wake up and say, "I know what I have to do."
Is Neo dead? Is he being re-introduced into the Matrix or ground up for nourishment?
I don't get it.
If you look at any good movie and its sequels, each movie, though part of a greater story, can stand on its own. You might be a little lost on some character development, but you can still enjoy the movie. If give you, for instance, the following:
- The Indiana Jones movies
- Star Wars 4,5,6 (the jury is still out on 1 & 2)
- The Rocky movies (I never saw the original and was still able to enjoy, or at least follow, the others I did see)
- Father of The Bride 1 & 2 (or Father's Little Dividend for the purists)
- The Lethal Weapon movies
There are, I am sure, other examples, but that's over a dozen movies that are connected but can be seen individually.
Not so with Reloaded and Revolutions. The Matrix stands well on its own - it had to or we'd never have seen the other two. It has a definite beginning, nice plot twists and interest in the middle and a definite end. Yes, it was left open for a sequel but had the sequels never materialized, I felt satisfied with the resolution.
Reloaded was a joke. I mean, he walked through a door. That was it. That was what the first hour and a half was building up to. HE WALKED THROUGH A DOOR!!! How f-ing lame can you possibly be??!! I tell my friends, "It was a great middle of a movie." You know, the middle of the movie. The part where you yawn a bit and go get more popcorn. The part that you must suffer through for sake of the plot.
Revolutions at least had a good chase scene but it was ultra-dependent on Reloaded. It picks up right where the other one left off. It's like walking in on the middle of a conversation or at the punchline of a joke. You're lost without the other part of it.
Here's what I would have done differently...
First, 86 the rave scenen from Reloaded. The speech beforehand works but the rave was just a vehicle to watch data-port-laden Trinity and Neo bump uglies to a beat. It wasn't at all arousing (I couldn't even tell who was who) and there are other ways to show that they love each other. I mean, if you're going to do something like that in an R-rated movie at least show some flesh.
Show the failed pre-eminent strike. This would let you see not only the betrayal brought about by Agent Smith - making a better case for his destruction at the end of Revolutions - but also the scale of the sentinel attack. I mean, they built up to it by showing the advance but then blew it off like "oh, yeah, we lost every stinking hovership we have." To paraphrase a line from Crimson Tide, you don't put on a condom unless you're going to screw.
Either condense the last two movies into one, or spend more time during Reloaded making the audience care about the residents of Zion.
Take out one of the "Superman" shots from Reloaded. We don't need two - or were there three?
I already said the Agent Smith fights were tired. The multi-Smith fight in Reloaded could have been much shorter and had the same impact of, "Holy $(&^ there's a bunch of them!" and establishing the spectators for the fight in Revolutions.
End Reloaded with a fight. At least end it with and "I'm still here and I'm still after you" moment. Maybe have Neo kill the old dude's bodyguard before he walks out the door.
The focal shift from Matrix to real world for Revolutions was a good move... but why give Neo super powers outside the Matrix? You can do the whole second-sight thing without the, "Look, I can kill sentinels with the wave of my hand," thing.
The train man? Did we even need to see him? And since when did programs - other than viruses - have children?
Why the hell did Neo go off to think in Revolutions? Just let him wake up and say, "I know what I have to do."
Is Neo dead? Is he being re-introduced into the Matrix or ground up for nourishment?
I don't get it.
No joy in Whoville
When we got home, rather than a box, I was greeted to a door tag...
"Sorry we missed you. Please sign below and we'll deliver your package tomorrow."
Oh well... at least I'll have it tomorrow.
"Sorry we missed you. Please sign below and we'll deliver your package tomorrow."
Oh well... at least I'll have it tomorrow.
It's just as unintelligible as the last one
I finally rented the DVD and watched Matrix: Revolutions over the weekend. After seeing Matrix: Reloaded, I wasn't about to waste my money at the theater... and it's a good thing I didn't.
I don't get it. Maybe I missed something but I don't get it.
Here are the problems I have:
1) Neo is able to "touch the source" and destroy sentinels en-masse outside the Matrix - yeah, right.
2) So, what happened to The Matrix? Did Neo do anything other than destroy agent Smith?
And, by the way, the Agent Smith Showdowns were tired when they were done in Reloaded. The one-on-one (with an Agent Smith peanut gallery) didn't do anything for me.
The sentinel battle and hovership chase scene were cool, though. I would have much rather seen the "early EMP" battle they eluded to in Reloaded. I think it would have created more tension/urgency and more "reality" for both Reloaded and Revolutions.
Lookee there, it's 5... gotta go. More on this later.
I don't get it. Maybe I missed something but I don't get it.
Here are the problems I have:
1) Neo is able to "touch the source" and destroy sentinels en-masse outside the Matrix - yeah, right.
2) So, what happened to The Matrix? Did Neo do anything other than destroy agent Smith?
And, by the way, the Agent Smith Showdowns were tired when they were done in Reloaded. The one-on-one (with an Agent Smith peanut gallery) didn't do anything for me.
The sentinel battle and hovership chase scene were cool, though. I would have much rather seen the "early EMP" battle they eluded to in Reloaded. I think it would have created more tension/urgency and more "reality" for both Reloaded and Revolutions.
Lookee there, it's 5... gotta go. More on this later.
Ants in my pants
I am anxiously awaiting the 5-o'clock whistle... My video card should be waiting for me at the house.
(insert big grin here)
(insert big grin here)
Friday, April 23, 2004
The Friday Five
1. What was the last song you heard?
Theme from the Green Hornet
2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Ella Enchanted and The Girl Next Door (both on the same day!)
3. What were the last three things you purchased?
A spool of wire, 2 gallons of milk and a loaf of bread (not all at the same store)
4. What four things do you need ot do this weekend?
Rest. Run wire through the attic. Upgrade the OS on my server. Rest.
5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
My pharmacist.
My Wife.
The take-out girl at McAlister's.
My boss.
My office mate.
Theme from the Green Hornet
2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Ella Enchanted and The Girl Next Door (both on the same day!)
3. What were the last three things you purchased?
A spool of wire, 2 gallons of milk and a loaf of bread (not all at the same store)
4. What four things do you need ot do this weekend?
Rest. Run wire through the attic. Upgrade the OS on my server. Rest.
5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
My pharmacist.
My Wife.
The take-out girl at McAlister's.
My boss.
My office mate.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Things are looking up...
... sort of.
On Monday, I started rebelling a bit and actually managed to get some of the work that I'm actually paid to do done. Not that I'm not paid to do the things they've had me doing over the past several weeks, I just haven't had much of a chance to to the work I was hired to do. Actually, that's a misnomer, too. I'm no longer doing the work I was "hired" to do - I'm doing something completely different, as is most everyone else in the IT division. Unless you boil it down to "computer support" then I'm doing the job I was hired to do - except for when I'm doing other things and don't have time to do the job I was hired to do...
Now do you see why I get headaches?
Anyway, my point was this... Some of the extra-curricular activities have been reassigned to other people who are in a better position to do them. This has given me time to get back to working trouble tickets that have been sitting in my queue for a month or more - seriously. I think I'm finally up to the "current" tickets (less than a week old).
But I think it all caught up to me today. I didn't really want to go to work this morning. I was tired, I had a headache, and an upset stomach. I went in anyway because of some misplaced sense of "responsiblity" because I was carrying the emergency notification phone. (I may have talked about that currsed piece of electronics before. When something goes wrong with the network, the person trying to fix it calls that phone and we (there are 5 of us who share the duty) post the information on our announcements site.) Yep - I dragged my ass into work because of a cell phone.
The only good thing about going in this morning was being able to hand the phone off to someone else when I left at 11 after getting fed up with my headache and feeling like I was going to toss my cookies every 20 minutes or so.
On Monday, I started rebelling a bit and actually managed to get some of the work that I'm actually paid to do done. Not that I'm not paid to do the things they've had me doing over the past several weeks, I just haven't had much of a chance to to the work I was hired to do. Actually, that's a misnomer, too. I'm no longer doing the work I was "hired" to do - I'm doing something completely different, as is most everyone else in the IT division. Unless you boil it down to "computer support" then I'm doing the job I was hired to do - except for when I'm doing other things and don't have time to do the job I was hired to do...
Now do you see why I get headaches?
Anyway, my point was this... Some of the extra-curricular activities have been reassigned to other people who are in a better position to do them. This has given me time to get back to working trouble tickets that have been sitting in my queue for a month or more - seriously. I think I'm finally up to the "current" tickets (less than a week old).
But I think it all caught up to me today. I didn't really want to go to work this morning. I was tired, I had a headache, and an upset stomach. I went in anyway because of some misplaced sense of "responsiblity" because I was carrying the emergency notification phone. (I may have talked about that currsed piece of electronics before. When something goes wrong with the network, the person trying to fix it calls that phone and we (there are 5 of us who share the duty) post the information on our announcements site.) Yep - I dragged my ass into work because of a cell phone.
The only good thing about going in this morning was being able to hand the phone off to someone else when I left at 11 after getting fed up with my headache and feeling like I was going to toss my cookies every 20 minutes or so.
Moving into the 21st Century
For the past 4 or 5 years, my computer system(s) has been running on a Riva TNT2 video card with 16MB of RAM. Yesterday I ordered a Radeon 9600 with 256MB of RAM.
It can't get here fast enough.
It can't get here fast enough.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
100 things you probably didn't know about me... and probably wish I wouldn't share
I got this idea from another site.
1. If I could have a poster of a celebrity above my bed, it would be Nicole Kiddman.
2. I like portable breakfasts (donuts, croissant/bagel sandwiches, etc.)
3. My favorite television show is Stargate SG-1
4. I own a Replay TV, not a Tivo.
5. I don't smoke but I experimented with pipe and cigar in college.
6. I like bubble baths but rarely find a tub I can be comfortable in.
7. I can't tollerate caffeine anymore - it makes my heart race. (thank God chocolate doesn't have enough to affect me)
8. I like to play Trivial Pursuit, when I'm in a game-playing mood.
9. I like Guinness beer... and I'm not sure why.
10. I used to produce television commercials - all local, nothing you've seen.
11. Favorite food: Anything with marinara or meat sauce on it.
12. My eyes are brown - I'm full of it.
13. Favorite song: Biggest Part of Me by Ambrosia.
14. I don't speak any foreign languages fluently but I did study German in college.
15. I don't do sports... much.
16. My definition of baseball is 15 minutes of pure excitement crammed into two hours (yes, I stole that from somewhere)
17. Worst job: Pizza cook - I liked the work but I worked at three pizza places before I did something different.
18. Dream job: America's favorite game-show host.
19. Seriously, dream job you might actually be able to do: Voice actor.
20. I never had any pets growing up - fish don't count as pets.
21. I currently have one dog and one cat - both black.
22. At one time, my wife and I had two dogs, three cats and a lovebird.
23. Yep, still married.
24. I operate three computers - My primary home system, a web server, and a laptop.
25. None of them are state-of-the-art and weren't even when they were new.
26. I do own a bicycle.
27. I haven't ridden it in at least five years.
28. Favorite movie: Can't name one... But I might be able to name ten or twenty.
29. Animal House and Caddyshack are near the top.
30. So are Meatballs and Better Off Dead.
31. And there's Grosse Point Blank and Casablanca and... Okay, I'll quit now.
32. I hate spam.
33. The computer kind... I'm flexible on the meat product.
34. I have a collection of quotes and one-liners in a word file that I add to regularly.
35. I have a collection of quotes and one-liners I've recorded from movies (it's a BIG collection).
36. I regularly recite material from both sources.
37. I keep a back-scratcher at my desk because I often suffer from folliculitis.
38. I probably spelled that wrong.
39. I make my own candles - It's easier than you think but the equipment can get expensive.
40. I got the scar on my left arm when I caught the corner of a metal mailbox while riding my bike.
41. I write with my left hand.
42. I bat, golf, and throw right-handed.
43. I can do almost anything else with either hand.
44. My favorite number is 42... there's another one but this is a family show.
45. My first car was a 1985 Toyota Corolla hatchback, charcoal grey with a 5-speed transmission.
46. It had flip-up headlights.
47. I like BIG vehicles... but not the fuel bills that go with them.
48. I can fix computers but have trouble with plumbing and other household repairs.
49. I've been in a total of two car accidents in my life that resulted in damage.
50. The first one was late at night and I still contend she didn't have her lights on.
51. Number two, I took out a light pole and the front-end of my Chevy S-10 Blazer.
52. It was either the light pole or the car in front of me.
53. I'm not counting the time I backed my wife's car into a truck and cracked the tail light.
54. I have never broken a bone - in my body or anyone elses.
55. My first concert was Sting. I was 25 years old and took a girl who wasn't my wife.
56. I'm not telling you who she was.
57. Favorite horror movie: Prince of Darkness.
58. Favorite color: Blue.
59. Funnest late-night movie: Day of the Triffids.
60. I've lived in three different states - Vermont, Indiana and Oklahoma.
70. I can't remember what I wanted to be when I grew up.
71. I still don't know.
72. My brother and I used to play "Radio Station" with his tape recorder and my 8-track player... like we were DJs.
73. I tend to imitate mannerisms if I gain enough exposure to them... I'm not sure why.
74. Least favorite word: Fat.
75. Movie that should never have been made: Joe vs. The Volcano.
78. My first computer was a Commodore 64.
79. I don't follow politics much - I have enough crap in my own life to worry about.
80. What I like most about myself: Adaptability.
81. What I like least about myself: I have never truly "mastered" anything.
82. There are several things I'm very good at, though.
83. I don't play a musical instrument but have tried my hand at guitar and piano.
84. I own a Bounce-Around Tigger... and I LOVE it!
85. Favorite stuffed animal as a kid: Monkey with plastic ears. Lost him in a flood.
86. Let's throw this one out... get it?
87. In my house there are two people, five televisions, five VCR's, and three DVD players.
88. Back to the Future!!
89. I've never been fired from a job.
90. I like wizards and dragons.
91. I don't keep house very well.
92. Favorite drink: Jack and Coke.
93. I enjoy puns, shaggy dog stories, and groaners.
94. I grok grok. (read Stranger in a Strange Land)
95. Favorite author: Robert Heinlein.
96. Favorite author I've met who I think is a total ass: Timothy Zahn.
97. Thing I miss most from my childhood: Innocence.
98. I used to be able to name the episode of Star Trek (original) within TEN seconds of seeing ANY part of the episode.
99. My motto: It's a weird world, but somebody's got to do it.
100. I cry at sad movies.
If I haven't already lost you - thanks for reading.
1. If I could have a poster of a celebrity above my bed, it would be Nicole Kiddman.
2. I like portable breakfasts (donuts, croissant/bagel sandwiches, etc.)
3. My favorite television show is Stargate SG-1
4. I own a Replay TV, not a Tivo.
5. I don't smoke but I experimented with pipe and cigar in college.
6. I like bubble baths but rarely find a tub I can be comfortable in.
7. I can't tollerate caffeine anymore - it makes my heart race. (thank God chocolate doesn't have enough to affect me)
8. I like to play Trivial Pursuit, when I'm in a game-playing mood.
9. I like Guinness beer... and I'm not sure why.
10. I used to produce television commercials - all local, nothing you've seen.
11. Favorite food: Anything with marinara or meat sauce on it.
12. My eyes are brown - I'm full of it.
13. Favorite song: Biggest Part of Me by Ambrosia.
14. I don't speak any foreign languages fluently but I did study German in college.
15. I don't do sports... much.
16. My definition of baseball is 15 minutes of pure excitement crammed into two hours (yes, I stole that from somewhere)
17. Worst job: Pizza cook - I liked the work but I worked at three pizza places before I did something different.
18. Dream job: America's favorite game-show host.
19. Seriously, dream job you might actually be able to do: Voice actor.
20. I never had any pets growing up - fish don't count as pets.
21. I currently have one dog and one cat - both black.
22. At one time, my wife and I had two dogs, three cats and a lovebird.
23. Yep, still married.
24. I operate three computers - My primary home system, a web server, and a laptop.
25. None of them are state-of-the-art and weren't even when they were new.
26. I do own a bicycle.
27. I haven't ridden it in at least five years.
28. Favorite movie: Can't name one... But I might be able to name ten or twenty.
29. Animal House and Caddyshack are near the top.
30. So are Meatballs and Better Off Dead.
31. And there's Grosse Point Blank and Casablanca and... Okay, I'll quit now.
32. I hate spam.
33. The computer kind... I'm flexible on the meat product.
34. I have a collection of quotes and one-liners in a word file that I add to regularly.
35. I have a collection of quotes and one-liners I've recorded from movies (it's a BIG collection).
36. I regularly recite material from both sources.
37. I keep a back-scratcher at my desk because I often suffer from folliculitis.
38. I probably spelled that wrong.
39. I make my own candles - It's easier than you think but the equipment can get expensive.
40. I got the scar on my left arm when I caught the corner of a metal mailbox while riding my bike.
41. I write with my left hand.
42. I bat, golf, and throw right-handed.
43. I can do almost anything else with either hand.
44. My favorite number is 42... there's another one but this is a family show.
45. My first car was a 1985 Toyota Corolla hatchback, charcoal grey with a 5-speed transmission.
46. It had flip-up headlights.
47. I like BIG vehicles... but not the fuel bills that go with them.
48. I can fix computers but have trouble with plumbing and other household repairs.
49. I've been in a total of two car accidents in my life that resulted in damage.
50. The first one was late at night and I still contend she didn't have her lights on.
51. Number two, I took out a light pole and the front-end of my Chevy S-10 Blazer.
52. It was either the light pole or the car in front of me.
53. I'm not counting the time I backed my wife's car into a truck and cracked the tail light.
54. I have never broken a bone - in my body or anyone elses.
55. My first concert was Sting. I was 25 years old and took a girl who wasn't my wife.
56. I'm not telling you who she was.
57. Favorite horror movie: Prince of Darkness.
58. Favorite color: Blue.
59. Funnest late-night movie: Day of the Triffids.
60. I've lived in three different states - Vermont, Indiana and Oklahoma.
70. I can't remember what I wanted to be when I grew up.
71. I still don't know.
72. My brother and I used to play "Radio Station" with his tape recorder and my 8-track player... like we were DJs.
73. I tend to imitate mannerisms if I gain enough exposure to them... I'm not sure why.
74. Least favorite word: Fat.
75. Movie that should never have been made: Joe vs. The Volcano.
78. My first computer was a Commodore 64.
79. I don't follow politics much - I have enough crap in my own life to worry about.
80. What I like most about myself: Adaptability.
81. What I like least about myself: I have never truly "mastered" anything.
82. There are several things I'm very good at, though.
83. I don't play a musical instrument but have tried my hand at guitar and piano.
84. I own a Bounce-Around Tigger... and I LOVE it!
85. Favorite stuffed animal as a kid: Monkey with plastic ears. Lost him in a flood.
86. Let's throw this one out... get it?
87. In my house there are two people, five televisions, five VCR's, and three DVD players.
88. Back to the Future!!
89. I've never been fired from a job.
90. I like wizards and dragons.
91. I don't keep house very well.
92. Favorite drink: Jack and Coke.
93. I enjoy puns, shaggy dog stories, and groaners.
94. I grok grok. (read Stranger in a Strange Land)
95. Favorite author: Robert Heinlein.
96. Favorite author I've met who I think is a total ass: Timothy Zahn.
97. Thing I miss most from my childhood: Innocence.
98. I used to be able to name the episode of Star Trek (original) within TEN seconds of seeing ANY part of the episode.
99. My motto: It's a weird world, but somebody's got to do it.
100. I cry at sad movies.
If I haven't already lost you - thanks for reading.
Monday, April 19, 2004
Attendant Spirits
My sister wrote an entry in her blog the other day about feeling someone hold her hand as she went to sleep. She told about ghosts and guardian angels and that got me to thinking about my guardian angel.
Oh, yes, I have a guardian angel and he has kept me out of trouble, helped me heal, and he has spoken to me. I mean that in a litteral sense. I have heard his voice with my own ears. His messages are simple but carry more meaning than the thickest novel ever written. Let me tell you about it...
The first time Stanley spoke to me... Oh, I forgot to tell you. His name is Stanley. At least, that's what I call him. I asked him his name once and that's what he whispered to me. Anyway, the first time he spoke to me, I was a freshman in college. There was this dumb-jock-type living on my same floor in the residence hall and I didn't have much use for him most of the time but he was pretty harmless.
At the end of a particularly harrowing day, I returned from class ot find him in my room chatting it up with my roommate and a couple of other guys. To blow off some steam, I fired up my computer and challenged any comers to a game of "Way of the Exploding Fist." I was pretty much impossible to beat because I was "attuned" to the joystick I used and I was really the only one used ot viewing output on a five-inch color monitor (it was a Commodore SX-64 portable computer).
At any rate, everything was going well and I was unstressing when the jock did something that utterly disgusted me. (I remember what it was but I'll spare you the details) I told him what I though of his gesture and politely and with a bit of revulsion asked him not to do that again... which he promptly ignored and repeated his action.
Those that have known me a while know that I can have a really nasty temper and it's easiest to set off when I'm tired, stressed and/or cranky. I have worked hard over the past thirty years to keep the monster at bay but he sneaks out once in a while... That day, he leaped out.
In one fluid motion, I threw my joystick on the desk, stood up, kicked my chair half way across the room and slammed into the jock's midriff before he knew what hit him. I shoved him against the far wall of the room and onto my roommates bed. When we landed, I was in the absolute perfect position to start slamming my fist repeatedly into his... manhood. I had an absolutely unobstructed shot and I'm sure he was in such shock that he would not have been able to stop me. With just a few blows, I could have easily put this oxygen thief in the hospital and removed his particular sequence from the gene pool.
I drew my right arm back, made a fist, shifted my weight to begin my first strike and heard someone say, loudly and firmly, "DON'T!"
In that instant, I knew that the beast had taken full control of me and, for the first time in my life, I was about to do serious bodily harm to another human being. Satisfied that I had proven my point, I stepped away and put the beast back in his cage.
The jock didn't get it.
As I stepped away, he grabbed me in a bear-hug from behind, pinning my arms, and lifted me off my feet. He carried me across the room and, thinking he was going to body-slam me into the floor, I threw my weight toward my bed as he let me go.
Now, the good thing about having a temper is, when you need it, you can fake it. You can let the beast roar his loudest, fiercest roar and still keep him in his cage... and that's exactly what I did.
When I hit the bed, I used it as a springboard to bounce myself back to my feet. I stepped within centimeters of this mouth-breathing neanderthal, who stood a good three inches taller than me and outweighed me by at least fifty pounds, looked straight into his eyes and hollered with as much rage as I could muster (which was quite a lot, I assure you) and proceeded to explain to him, in a very graphic manner, what I was going to do to him if he ever touched me again. I recall his expression being a mixture of mild fear and amazement that anyone would dare stand up to him like that. I left him standing there, wide-eyed, as I left the room to cool off.
When I returned, my roommate quitely said to me, "Remind me never to piss you off."
I was convinced that someone in the room had hollered at me to stop but my roommate said he hadn't heard it. I blew it off as divergent recollections... until I heard him the second time. I was alone the second time.
It was a couple of years after the first incident. I had been dating a girl I met in high school for almost three years. She was my first love and she played with my mind the whole time. Some of the things she did were nothing short of evil and manipulative. For this reason, when we finally broke up, I hated her. I had said I hated people before this but I had only strongly disliked them. Her... I hated. I hated what she had done to me, I hated that I had wasted three years on her, and I hated what I had become because of her. I spent the entire summer sitting in my bedroom reading after we broke up.
I don't recall what book I was reading but I was sitting alone on my bed in my room. The radio was not on and I was lost in the world created on the pages in front of me. Without any warning, I heard a voice quietly say to me, "Let it go."
I looked up. No one had entered and the door was closed. I remember thinking, "What?" then returned to my book. Before I could find my spot on the page I again heard the voice say, "Let it go."
With no further words and no further thought, I realized that the hatred I carried so close to my heart had tainted and discolored every experience I'd had since allowing it to enter me. It wasn't living there, it wasn't holding on. I had picked it up and held onto it with all my strength letting it steel me against... against nothing. It was hurting me with its subtle but suffocating pressure and I never realized it. In my mind, I saw a hand release and let something just fall away.
I was at peace. I was at peace with myself and I was at peace with my experiences and I forgave her. I forgave her absolutely and completely.
It was then that I realized the voice must be a guardian angel. In that moment I experienced a forgiveness that could only come from God. He forgave me for my hatred. I released my hatred and forgave myself for carrying it. Most importantly, I forgave someone else without regard to whether or not they would forgive me.
That moment is as close to God as I have ever been.
Do I believe in spirits? Yes. Do I believe in guardian angels? You bet I do.
Oh, yes, I have a guardian angel and he has kept me out of trouble, helped me heal, and he has spoken to me. I mean that in a litteral sense. I have heard his voice with my own ears. His messages are simple but carry more meaning than the thickest novel ever written. Let me tell you about it...
The first time Stanley spoke to me... Oh, I forgot to tell you. His name is Stanley. At least, that's what I call him. I asked him his name once and that's what he whispered to me. Anyway, the first time he spoke to me, I was a freshman in college. There was this dumb-jock-type living on my same floor in the residence hall and I didn't have much use for him most of the time but he was pretty harmless.
At the end of a particularly harrowing day, I returned from class ot find him in my room chatting it up with my roommate and a couple of other guys. To blow off some steam, I fired up my computer and challenged any comers to a game of "Way of the Exploding Fist." I was pretty much impossible to beat because I was "attuned" to the joystick I used and I was really the only one used ot viewing output on a five-inch color monitor (it was a Commodore SX-64 portable computer).
At any rate, everything was going well and I was unstressing when the jock did something that utterly disgusted me. (I remember what it was but I'll spare you the details) I told him what I though of his gesture and politely and with a bit of revulsion asked him not to do that again... which he promptly ignored and repeated his action.
Those that have known me a while know that I can have a really nasty temper and it's easiest to set off when I'm tired, stressed and/or cranky. I have worked hard over the past thirty years to keep the monster at bay but he sneaks out once in a while... That day, he leaped out.
In one fluid motion, I threw my joystick on the desk, stood up, kicked my chair half way across the room and slammed into the jock's midriff before he knew what hit him. I shoved him against the far wall of the room and onto my roommates bed. When we landed, I was in the absolute perfect position to start slamming my fist repeatedly into his... manhood. I had an absolutely unobstructed shot and I'm sure he was in such shock that he would not have been able to stop me. With just a few blows, I could have easily put this oxygen thief in the hospital and removed his particular sequence from the gene pool.
I drew my right arm back, made a fist, shifted my weight to begin my first strike and heard someone say, loudly and firmly, "DON'T!"
In that instant, I knew that the beast had taken full control of me and, for the first time in my life, I was about to do serious bodily harm to another human being. Satisfied that I had proven my point, I stepped away and put the beast back in his cage.
The jock didn't get it.
As I stepped away, he grabbed me in a bear-hug from behind, pinning my arms, and lifted me off my feet. He carried me across the room and, thinking he was going to body-slam me into the floor, I threw my weight toward my bed as he let me go.
Now, the good thing about having a temper is, when you need it, you can fake it. You can let the beast roar his loudest, fiercest roar and still keep him in his cage... and that's exactly what I did.
When I hit the bed, I used it as a springboard to bounce myself back to my feet. I stepped within centimeters of this mouth-breathing neanderthal, who stood a good three inches taller than me and outweighed me by at least fifty pounds, looked straight into his eyes and hollered with as much rage as I could muster (which was quite a lot, I assure you) and proceeded to explain to him, in a very graphic manner, what I was going to do to him if he ever touched me again. I recall his expression being a mixture of mild fear and amazement that anyone would dare stand up to him like that. I left him standing there, wide-eyed, as I left the room to cool off.
When I returned, my roommate quitely said to me, "Remind me never to piss you off."
I was convinced that someone in the room had hollered at me to stop but my roommate said he hadn't heard it. I blew it off as divergent recollections... until I heard him the second time. I was alone the second time.
It was a couple of years after the first incident. I had been dating a girl I met in high school for almost three years. She was my first love and she played with my mind the whole time. Some of the things she did were nothing short of evil and manipulative. For this reason, when we finally broke up, I hated her. I had said I hated people before this but I had only strongly disliked them. Her... I hated. I hated what she had done to me, I hated that I had wasted three years on her, and I hated what I had become because of her. I spent the entire summer sitting in my bedroom reading after we broke up.
I don't recall what book I was reading but I was sitting alone on my bed in my room. The radio was not on and I was lost in the world created on the pages in front of me. Without any warning, I heard a voice quietly say to me, "Let it go."
I looked up. No one had entered and the door was closed. I remember thinking, "What?" then returned to my book. Before I could find my spot on the page I again heard the voice say, "Let it go."
With no further words and no further thought, I realized that the hatred I carried so close to my heart had tainted and discolored every experience I'd had since allowing it to enter me. It wasn't living there, it wasn't holding on. I had picked it up and held onto it with all my strength letting it steel me against... against nothing. It was hurting me with its subtle but suffocating pressure and I never realized it. In my mind, I saw a hand release and let something just fall away.
I was at peace. I was at peace with myself and I was at peace with my experiences and I forgave her. I forgave her absolutely and completely.
It was then that I realized the voice must be a guardian angel. In that moment I experienced a forgiveness that could only come from God. He forgave me for my hatred. I released my hatred and forgave myself for carrying it. Most importantly, I forgave someone else without regard to whether or not they would forgive me.
That moment is as close to God as I have ever been.
Do I believe in spirits? Yes. Do I believe in guardian angels? You bet I do.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
"Wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face. I ain't nothin' but tired..." - Springsteen
Have you ever wanted to just run away from your life? I don't mean take a vacation or just get away for a few days or weeks... I mean really run away. Just pack up your stuff and go. Leave it all behind and start over. Do something completely different. Be in a different place.
Why? Many reasons, really. Maybe you hate what you do. Maybe you hate what you've become. Maybe you just want a trade-in, like with a car.
Life has started spinning so fast that it's just a blur. If I weren't afraid of... of... starving, honestly... I would pack my stuff, drive to California and become a voice actor. That's my dream job. I want to be the voice of the next Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, or even the next Protoss Zealot.
But... I stay here, doing what I do, being who I am. I hear the competition is feirce for that line of work and I'm just not in a position to present myself.
If the opportunity ever comes along, though, look for my name in the credits.
Why? Many reasons, really. Maybe you hate what you do. Maybe you hate what you've become. Maybe you just want a trade-in, like with a car.
Life has started spinning so fast that it's just a blur. If I weren't afraid of... of... starving, honestly... I would pack my stuff, drive to California and become a voice actor. That's my dream job. I want to be the voice of the next Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, or even the next Protoss Zealot.
But... I stay here, doing what I do, being who I am. I hear the competition is feirce for that line of work and I'm just not in a position to present myself.
If the opportunity ever comes along, though, look for my name in the credits.
Saturday, April 17, 2004
Trudging through the monotony
After some initial speedbumps - CDs that wouldn't boot, files that wouldn't copy, a CD-ROM drive that mysteriously shut down (the drawer wouldn't even open) while operating - the rebuild is going smoothly. I'm currently running updates and, while I wait, rebuilding some of my links... which is why I stopped by.
I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday wherever you are!
I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday wherever you are!
Thursday, April 15, 2004
*^*&%$#@$%
That word in the title begins with an F and should be in a 72pt font with about a hundred exclamation points behind it.
This entry was going to be so wonderful but in a split second it went from fabulous to f*&$ed up.
Here's what happened: The urgent need circuit in my home computer kicked in and it kicked in hard. For those of you that don't know, the urgent need circuit is that piece of hardware within every piece of electronic equipment, such as printers, copiers, computers, cars, etc. that causes them to shut down at the point of most urgent need. This circuit is what causes cars not to start in horror movies.
I have been in training since Wednesday. After our breaks, as everyone is starting to trickle in, our instructor has been playing humorous video and audio clips. Several people have asked for copies of some of his clips and his answer is, "bring me a blank CD." Which I did.
One of my hobbies - for SEVERAL years now - has been recording and collecting sound clips from movies - which is why I have a web site full of audio clips. I thought he might appreciate a copy of my wav collection... ALL of it. So, I dumped all of the files into a folder, sorted through a couple of folders and made some minor changes to the folder structure. It was all ready. I had even printed out a label and a jewel case insert. I dropped the blank DVD into the drive, launched Roxio CD/DVD creator, and it froze.
No problem. I'll just reset the computer.
BIG PROBLEM!!!
When the system restarted, it told me...
\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\CONFIG\SYSTEM was missing or corrupt.
For those of you that don't understand... yeah, that's a bad thing. I was all ready to just burn the DVD and go to bed (it was getting close to 10:30pm) and that UNC fired up. I only wish I had some pixie dust to counteract the devastating effects of the UNC.
So, here I sit, typing on the laptop as Windows XP setup runs on my desktop computer. I figure I'll get it loaded, load the DVD/CD recording software, record the DVD for the instructor and call it a night.
Great, the system just shot me the BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death) right in the middle of setup... meaning I have to start over... [[SIGH]]... Setup will complete in approximately 39 minutes...
This entry was going to be so wonderful but in a split second it went from fabulous to f*&$ed up.
Here's what happened: The urgent need circuit in my home computer kicked in and it kicked in hard. For those of you that don't know, the urgent need circuit is that piece of hardware within every piece of electronic equipment, such as printers, copiers, computers, cars, etc. that causes them to shut down at the point of most urgent need. This circuit is what causes cars not to start in horror movies.
I have been in training since Wednesday. After our breaks, as everyone is starting to trickle in, our instructor has been playing humorous video and audio clips. Several people have asked for copies of some of his clips and his answer is, "bring me a blank CD." Which I did.
One of my hobbies - for SEVERAL years now - has been recording and collecting sound clips from movies - which is why I have a web site full of audio clips. I thought he might appreciate a copy of my wav collection... ALL of it. So, I dumped all of the files into a folder, sorted through a couple of folders and made some minor changes to the folder structure. It was all ready. I had even printed out a label and a jewel case insert. I dropped the blank DVD into the drive, launched Roxio CD/DVD creator, and it froze.
No problem. I'll just reset the computer.
BIG PROBLEM!!!
When the system restarted, it told me...
\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\CONFIG\SYSTEM was missing or corrupt.
For those of you that don't understand... yeah, that's a bad thing. I was all ready to just burn the DVD and go to bed (it was getting close to 10:30pm) and that UNC fired up. I only wish I had some pixie dust to counteract the devastating effects of the UNC.
So, here I sit, typing on the laptop as Windows XP setup runs on my desktop computer. I figure I'll get it loaded, load the DVD/CD recording software, record the DVD for the instructor and call it a night.
Great, the system just shot me the BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death) right in the middle of setup... meaning I have to start over... [[SIGH]]... Setup will complete in approximately 39 minutes...
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Lord, I am SO tired... How LONG can this go on!?
Well I've been working in a coal mine, going down down... Working in a coal mine....... ahem... sorry.
As I've stated before, this is the longest I've ever kept a single journal. There are dys where (I'm going to leave that typo in... you wouldn't believe how many I've already had and I'm just on the second sentence) I'm so busy rushing around and other days where I just don't feel up to "sharing" that I don't blog. But, I always come back to it.
Funny thing is, you'd be surprised at how many things don't make it into the blog. Take the John Doe incident, for instance. Over the weekend and while driving home from KC, I must have started five or six entries in my head. At least half of them dissolved before I had an opportunity to commit them to the ones and zeros that are the internet. The other half battled it out in my brain on the always uninteresting drive home. In the end, the Greyhound bus driver was just too unexpected not to mention.
I'm constantly doing that. Taking an experience and wondering to myself how I would describe it in my blog. It's a fun exercise and I think it helps my writing... not that I think I've found that "voice" I mentioned so many entries ago.
(MAN! Is the backspace key getting a workout tonight!!)
The past two weeks have been exhausting. I was explaining this to Kevin and he mentioned that another person in our organization couldn't understand why I was so stressed. "It's not like, when something goes wrong, they blame him or anything," he's reported to have said. That's not the point. I'm just juggling so many balls right now that keeping track of them is spiritually draining. Even when they become a blur and I get in the zone, I'm still exhausted by the end of the day.
Here's the interesting thing... I've been off anti-depressants for at least two months, now (right about the time we really started ramping up) and I don't miss the crutch. (That's what it had become, a crutch. It wasn't at first, though.) Sure, I feel like collapsing and letting it all out sometimes but I have control of it rather than the other way around.
I want to stick it out but I'm really so overwhelmed that I'll jump ship if the right opportunity comes along. The good thing, though, is that my managers recognize how much we are all doing (mostly because they're putting forth similar effort) and have been very good lately at handing out praise at the right moment.
Before I start rambling too much, I'm going to call it a night and hit the sack.
Thank you for your support...
As I've stated before, this is the longest I've ever kept a single journal. There are dys where (I'm going to leave that typo in... you wouldn't believe how many I've already had and I'm just on the second sentence) I'm so busy rushing around and other days where I just don't feel up to "sharing" that I don't blog. But, I always come back to it.
Funny thing is, you'd be surprised at how many things don't make it into the blog. Take the John Doe incident, for instance. Over the weekend and while driving home from KC, I must have started five or six entries in my head. At least half of them dissolved before I had an opportunity to commit them to the ones and zeros that are the internet. The other half battled it out in my brain on the always uninteresting drive home. In the end, the Greyhound bus driver was just too unexpected not to mention.
I'm constantly doing that. Taking an experience and wondering to myself how I would describe it in my blog. It's a fun exercise and I think it helps my writing... not that I think I've found that "voice" I mentioned so many entries ago.
(MAN! Is the backspace key getting a workout tonight!!)
The past two weeks have been exhausting. I was explaining this to Kevin and he mentioned that another person in our organization couldn't understand why I was so stressed. "It's not like, when something goes wrong, they blame him or anything," he's reported to have said. That's not the point. I'm just juggling so many balls right now that keeping track of them is spiritually draining. Even when they become a blur and I get in the zone, I'm still exhausted by the end of the day.
Here's the interesting thing... I've been off anti-depressants for at least two months, now (right about the time we really started ramping up) and I don't miss the crutch. (That's what it had become, a crutch. It wasn't at first, though.) Sure, I feel like collapsing and letting it all out sometimes but I have control of it rather than the other way around.
I want to stick it out but I'm really so overwhelmed that I'll jump ship if the right opportunity comes along. The good thing, though, is that my managers recognize how much we are all doing (mostly because they're putting forth similar effort) and have been very good lately at handing out praise at the right moment.
Before I start rambling too much, I'm going to call it a night and hit the sack.
Thank you for your support...
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
That's better... in a still broken kinda way
I commented out the Blogroll Me link (which is why you don't see it at the moment) and that fixed my page. Problem is, I want to include that link but I'll have to figure that out later...
Houston, we have a problem
Something has gone terribly wrong and my blog won't load beyond the last archive link. I'm actually staring at the top half of a sentence at the bottom of my screen.
Please bear with me as I figure this thing out...
Please bear with me as I figure this thing out...
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
You'll notice I have a new link at the right of my posts... it says, "Blogroll Me!"
Just like with the comments, I've added a new feature. It helps me effortlessly manage my blog links (you'll notice the font on them has changed a bit, too). Check it out at Blogrolling.com.
Just like with the comments, I've added a new feature. It helps me effortlessly manage my blog links (you'll notice the font on them has changed a bit, too). Check it out at Blogrolling.com.
Deceptions
Marketing departments crack me up... and they scare me. I'm a smart consumer and try not to get sucked into their lies but I know there are many many many more consumers who do not take advertisements with a grain of salt.
The words, "All Natural" have been equated with "healthy" and "safe" but let me remind you that hemlock is all natural. I actually saw a bottle of "Migraine Relief" at a health food store that was marked "all natural." I looked at the ingredients and it's active ingredient was belladonna. Now, one site mentions that "Small children are much more susceptible to belladonna poisoning than adults, and should be kept away from it." but the fact remains that it's POISON!!
I know that, for many poisonous herbs, death only comes at the right dose but imagine this scenario. You have a migraine. (for those of you that have never experienced one, a migraine isn't just a headache.. it's A REALLY BAD F*$)ING HEADACHE!!! and the slightest sound or amount of light makes your head feel like it's having an axe buried into it and makes you want to lose your lunch.) You have some of the Migraine Relief you bought from the health food store. Depending on the concentration of belladonna, one or two aren't going to hurt you but what if you keep taking them 'cause your headache isn't getting any better? At the very least, it's going to make you sick.
Lately, the move has been toward "low carb" foods because of the Atkins diet. Anyone who knows me knows that I could stand to reduce my carbohydrate intake so these have caught my eye. I've read parts of The Carbohydrate Addict's Healthy Heart Program and it details how your body processes carbs, begins to resist insulin, craves carbs and becomes a fat-making machine. This all makes sense and explains why these low-carb diets work.
I won't argue the validity or safety of Atkins-style diets except to say they don't ring true to me and I choose not to follow them. What I will say is that, as a consumer, YOU MUST BE CAREFUL AND BE SURE OF WHAT YOU ARE GETTING. Remember when KFC tried to convince everyone that fried chicken was healthy???
This morning, I decided to try one of the Carl's Jr Low-Carb breakfast bowls. It's got egg, cheese, sausage and bacon in a bowl. No bread so there are very few carbs (5g total, 3g net... don't even get me started on "net" carbs). When I got into the office, I looked up the nutritional info on the web.
Total Carbs - 5g
Fiber - 2g
Sugars - 2g
Net Carbs - 3g
looks good so far, right??? It gets MUCH WORSE from here...
Calories - 900
Calories from fat - 660
total fat - 73g (DV=less than 65g)*
saturated fat - 33g (DV=less than 20g)
cholesterol - 875mg (DV=less than 300mg - that almost THREE TIMES the daily recommended MAXIMUM intake)
sodium - 2050mg (DV= less than 2,400 mg - one-stop shopping)
protein - 58g
Oh, just bury me now! By contrast, let's take a look at a Croissanwich, another of my favorite breakfast foods, with sausage, egg & cheese from Burger King.
Total carbs - 24g
Dietary fiber - 1g
sugars - 4g
Calories - 520
Calories from fat - 350
Total fat - 39g (almost half that of the breakfast bowl)
Saturated fat - 14g (almost 2 1/2 times lower)
Cholesterol - 210mg (over 4 times lower)
Sodium - 1090mg
protein - 19g
Okay, still not a shining example of healthy eating but look at how much more reasonable those numbers are. I'd rather have the Croissanwich without the croissant. Granted, there was a lot more volume to the breakfast bowl but you certainly pay for it.
How about an Egg McMuffin?
Carbs - 29g
Fiber - 2g
sugars - 3g
calories - 300
Calories from fat - 110
total fat - 12g
saturated fat - 9g
cholesterol - 235mg
sodium - 840mg
protein - 18g
What it comes down to is that any of these breakfast options has too much fat, too much cholesterol, way too much sodium and not enough fiber to be very good for you. But if something is advertised as "low carb" or "low fat" or "all natural"... make sure you get the big picture.
Sheesh... I don't think I'm EVER eating one of those again.
*Daily Values from FDA document 'Daily Values' Encourage Healthy Diet
The words, "All Natural" have been equated with "healthy" and "safe" but let me remind you that hemlock is all natural. I actually saw a bottle of "Migraine Relief" at a health food store that was marked "all natural." I looked at the ingredients and it's active ingredient was belladonna. Now, one site mentions that "Small children are much more susceptible to belladonna poisoning than adults, and should be kept away from it." but the fact remains that it's POISON!!
I know that, for many poisonous herbs, death only comes at the right dose but imagine this scenario. You have a migraine. (for those of you that have never experienced one, a migraine isn't just a headache.. it's A REALLY BAD F*$)ING HEADACHE!!! and the slightest sound or amount of light makes your head feel like it's having an axe buried into it and makes you want to lose your lunch.) You have some of the Migraine Relief you bought from the health food store. Depending on the concentration of belladonna, one or two aren't going to hurt you but what if you keep taking them 'cause your headache isn't getting any better? At the very least, it's going to make you sick.
Lately, the move has been toward "low carb" foods because of the Atkins diet. Anyone who knows me knows that I could stand to reduce my carbohydrate intake so these have caught my eye. I've read parts of The Carbohydrate Addict's Healthy Heart Program and it details how your body processes carbs, begins to resist insulin, craves carbs and becomes a fat-making machine. This all makes sense and explains why these low-carb diets work.
I won't argue the validity or safety of Atkins-style diets except to say they don't ring true to me and I choose not to follow them. What I will say is that, as a consumer, YOU MUST BE CAREFUL AND BE SURE OF WHAT YOU ARE GETTING. Remember when KFC tried to convince everyone that fried chicken was healthy???
This morning, I decided to try one of the Carl's Jr Low-Carb breakfast bowls. It's got egg, cheese, sausage and bacon in a bowl. No bread so there are very few carbs (5g total, 3g net... don't even get me started on "net" carbs). When I got into the office, I looked up the nutritional info on the web.
Total Carbs - 5g
Fiber - 2g
Sugars - 2g
Net Carbs - 3g
looks good so far, right??? It gets MUCH WORSE from here...
Calories - 900
Calories from fat - 660
total fat - 73g (DV=less than 65g)*
saturated fat - 33g (DV=less than 20g)
cholesterol - 875mg (DV=less than 300mg - that almost THREE TIMES the daily recommended MAXIMUM intake)
sodium - 2050mg (DV= less than 2,400 mg - one-stop shopping)
protein - 58g
Oh, just bury me now! By contrast, let's take a look at a Croissanwich, another of my favorite breakfast foods, with sausage, egg & cheese from Burger King.
Total carbs - 24g
Dietary fiber - 1g
sugars - 4g
Calories - 520
Calories from fat - 350
Total fat - 39g (almost half that of the breakfast bowl)
Saturated fat - 14g (almost 2 1/2 times lower)
Cholesterol - 210mg (over 4 times lower)
Sodium - 1090mg
protein - 19g
Okay, still not a shining example of healthy eating but look at how much more reasonable those numbers are. I'd rather have the Croissanwich without the croissant. Granted, there was a lot more volume to the breakfast bowl but you certainly pay for it.
How about an Egg McMuffin?
Carbs - 29g
Fiber - 2g
sugars - 3g
calories - 300
Calories from fat - 110
total fat - 12g
saturated fat - 9g
cholesterol - 235mg
sodium - 840mg
protein - 18g
What it comes down to is that any of these breakfast options has too much fat, too much cholesterol, way too much sodium and not enough fiber to be very good for you. But if something is advertised as "low carb" or "low fat" or "all natural"... make sure you get the big picture.
Sheesh... I don't think I'm EVER eating one of those again.
*Daily Values from FDA document 'Daily Values' Encourage Healthy Diet
No, really, what's your name
I'm on my way home from Kansas City this weekend (had a nice time, thank you for asking) and I stop at a McDonald's on the Kansas Turnpike. Someone approaches as I'm waiting in line so, naturally, I turn around to see who's behind me... it's a Greyhound bus driver. As I turn back around, his shiny, brass name tag catches my eye and I see the name engraved on it in capital letters: JOHN DOE.
I do a double-take to make sure my eyes are not deceiving me. Awkwardly, he notices me staring. "I was just noticing your name tag." He gives me a polite chin-nod and, realizing he's not the chatty type, I turn back around.
Unable to resist and not ask the obvious, I attempt to engage him by asking, "Is that really your name?"
Okay... in hindsight, that was probably the biggest dumbass question I've ever asked. For some reason, my mind told me, "Go ahead and ask. Maybe they all wear a name tag that reads John Doe. Maybe this guy didn't want anyone to know his real name. Maybe he's in the witness protection program!"
Okay, that last one didn't go through my mind but I did think the other stuff.
The bus driver quietly responded, "Yes, it is."
I attempted to engage him again with, "I've never actually met a John Doe before."
Another chin-nod.
I finished off by saying, "Now I can tell people I have."
"Yes, you can." came his reply.
I SO wanted to talk with this guy. It's like meeting a Walt Disney or a Bill Gates. I just wanted to know what it was like to have a "famous name" but he wasn't biting.
I did resist the urge to ask, "So, you related to that guy that died last week?"
I do a double-take to make sure my eyes are not deceiving me. Awkwardly, he notices me staring. "I was just noticing your name tag." He gives me a polite chin-nod and, realizing he's not the chatty type, I turn back around.
Unable to resist and not ask the obvious, I attempt to engage him by asking, "Is that really your name?"
Okay... in hindsight, that was probably the biggest dumbass question I've ever asked. For some reason, my mind told me, "Go ahead and ask. Maybe they all wear a name tag that reads John Doe. Maybe this guy didn't want anyone to know his real name. Maybe he's in the witness protection program!"
Okay, that last one didn't go through my mind but I did think the other stuff.
The bus driver quietly responded, "Yes, it is."
I attempted to engage him again with, "I've never actually met a John Doe before."
Another chin-nod.
I finished off by saying, "Now I can tell people I have."
"Yes, you can." came his reply.
I SO wanted to talk with this guy. It's like meeting a Walt Disney or a Bill Gates. I just wanted to know what it was like to have a "famous name" but he wasn't biting.
I did resist the urge to ask, "So, you related to that guy that died last week?"
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Having a little fun
Found this on the Internet... had to try a couple before I got one that wasn't too rude...
Waxing Nostalgic
Since Friday evening and throughout the weekend, my mind has been whisking me back through my memories but landing me in places unvisited in many many years. I don't know why I am reminded of these particular things at this particular moment but I am comforted by their familiarity.
I remember the South Kingston parking lot. As the three children in our household and the five children across the street one-by-one reached the age of sixteen, the number of cars parked in the street around our cul-de-sac made it resemble a used car lot.
I remember the block parties we used to have. The families up and down the street used to get together for the 4th of July or some other warm-weather occasion and have a cookout in the middle of the street. It was during one of these events that I first tried homemade ice cream.
I remember spending one July 4th with a good friend of mine, Linda Anderson. I would later relive that picnic while listening to Eddie Murphy chronicle events at his family cookouts. There was an uncle in charge of fire and meat as well as several cousins in charge of the fireworks show.
My most vivid memory of that afternoon happened before the sun went down. Linda's uncle Billy had started shooting off black cats so I was getting used to the rapidfire "pop pop pop pop" of a string firecrackers. All of a sudden, while no one was watching, the was a horrendous, echoing BOOM!!! Billy had decided to drop an M-40 (the M-80 - equivalent to a 1/4 stick of dynamite - had been recently outlawed) into a concrete enclosure in the middle of the yard. The design of the structure, presumably used to burn trash and yard waste, caused and amplification and echo of the concussive force... it's the second-best fireworks I've experienced.
Remind me to tell you about spending July 4, 2001 in Richmond, VT.
I recall a family that rented a house in the neighborhood for a while. They had a son, Tim, who was older than me and a daughter, Martha who was younger than me. Every time she approached him and, wanting to speak with him, said, "Tim?" He would respond matter-of-factly with, "Martha." For some reason, this drove Martha nuts and it was quite fun to watch.
I remember driving the Fiat spider a girlfriend owned. It was the first time I had ever even ridden in a convertible. I also remember that you could put the top down (or up, for that matter) without ever unbuckling your seatbelt.
I remember walking to U-Tot-Em or 7-11 with my brother from our duplex off South Peoria to get slushies. Mom told us we weren't allowed to walk there because it required that we cross Peoria to get there but we went anyway.
That brings back the memory of my brother taking me to Jenks to get my driver's license. We stopped at a U-Tot-Em to switch drivers so I could get some last-minute practice.
And I remember driving my brother's Camaro. I don't remember what year it was, exactly (1970-something), but I remember it was gold (and primer) and he paid $1,300.00 for it. I also remember that it had very heavy doors. I had never driven in my life and, for some reason, John let me drive the car down Joplin St. toward home... I'm surprised I didn't give him whiplash in the scant 3-minutes I was in control.
I also remember losing a tire from that Camaro while we all drove to Schlotzsky's for my birthday.
I don't know why these particular memories are coming to mind. Some are fleeting and are hard to recall at the moment but as they come, I live there for a moment and am comforted.
I remember the South Kingston parking lot. As the three children in our household and the five children across the street one-by-one reached the age of sixteen, the number of cars parked in the street around our cul-de-sac made it resemble a used car lot.
I remember the block parties we used to have. The families up and down the street used to get together for the 4th of July or some other warm-weather occasion and have a cookout in the middle of the street. It was during one of these events that I first tried homemade ice cream.
I remember spending one July 4th with a good friend of mine, Linda Anderson. I would later relive that picnic while listening to Eddie Murphy chronicle events at his family cookouts. There was an uncle in charge of fire and meat as well as several cousins in charge of the fireworks show.
My most vivid memory of that afternoon happened before the sun went down. Linda's uncle Billy had started shooting off black cats so I was getting used to the rapidfire "pop pop pop pop" of a string firecrackers. All of a sudden, while no one was watching, the was a horrendous, echoing BOOM!!! Billy had decided to drop an M-40 (the M-80 - equivalent to a 1/4 stick of dynamite - had been recently outlawed) into a concrete enclosure in the middle of the yard. The design of the structure, presumably used to burn trash and yard waste, caused and amplification and echo of the concussive force... it's the second-best fireworks I've experienced.
Remind me to tell you about spending July 4, 2001 in Richmond, VT.
I recall a family that rented a house in the neighborhood for a while. They had a son, Tim, who was older than me and a daughter, Martha who was younger than me. Every time she approached him and, wanting to speak with him, said, "Tim?" He would respond matter-of-factly with, "Martha." For some reason, this drove Martha nuts and it was quite fun to watch.
I remember driving the Fiat spider a girlfriend owned. It was the first time I had ever even ridden in a convertible. I also remember that you could put the top down (or up, for that matter) without ever unbuckling your seatbelt.
I remember walking to U-Tot-Em or 7-11 with my brother from our duplex off South Peoria to get slushies. Mom told us we weren't allowed to walk there because it required that we cross Peoria to get there but we went anyway.
That brings back the memory of my brother taking me to Jenks to get my driver's license. We stopped at a U-Tot-Em to switch drivers so I could get some last-minute practice.
And I remember driving my brother's Camaro. I don't remember what year it was, exactly (1970-something), but I remember it was gold (and primer) and he paid $1,300.00 for it. I also remember that it had very heavy doors. I had never driven in my life and, for some reason, John let me drive the car down Joplin St. toward home... I'm surprised I didn't give him whiplash in the scant 3-minutes I was in control.
I also remember losing a tire from that Camaro while we all drove to Schlotzsky's for my birthday.
I don't know why these particular memories are coming to mind. Some are fleeting and are hard to recall at the moment but as they come, I live there for a moment and am comforted.
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